Sidewinder
Aquarium Advice Newbie
My Analyst advised me that talking to my fish would be good therapy. At first, they would not reply (the fish not the analysts). But with patience and a little tenacity some of them finally began to speak; not in whole sentences at first mind you, but muted, whispered words. If memory serves, the first was the female Premnas biaculeatis "Submit", "Obey", and the like. Then the Tangs (in my 10 gal.) began to follow suit.
But they didn't fool me. I knew they were just pretending to like me; you know, the way Dad used to... The subversion soon began to rear it's ugly head. My first clue was when the Green Chromis began to swim together and whisper behind my back. I know conspiracy when I see it. Then the new Firefish would hide every time I approached the tank. AH...HAAAA.... the Ringleader...
So I told my wife; sometimes she talkes to me too. She gave her standard answer "Poke them with a stick!" So I did. They actually pretended to be scared and hide. It was just another trick to host another clandestine meeting whose purpose, among other things, was to undermine my authority. Now I'm really on the defensive. So I get a spare Maxi-Jet 1200 and by hand shoot the stream into every nook and cranny; skattering the rock, stirring up the Southdown into a cloud so thick that nothing could survive. After the dust settled they continued to pretend to be my friends. But I ain't that stupid. I have now taken out a contract on each and everyone of them. I know that the Brittle/Serpent Stars are on my side; they told me so. We'll just have to wait and see.
I've learned my lesson though: Never, ever talk to your fish, at least if you must, don't tell them the truth. They will certainly use it against you. I'm also loadin' up the HK-91 to pay a little visit to those analysts. I realize now that they were in cahoots with the fish all along.
PS My next project is to open up a dialog with my corals.
PPS Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean that they are NOT out to get me.
But they didn't fool me. I knew they were just pretending to like me; you know, the way Dad used to... The subversion soon began to rear it's ugly head. My first clue was when the Green Chromis began to swim together and whisper behind my back. I know conspiracy when I see it. Then the new Firefish would hide every time I approached the tank. AH...HAAAA.... the Ringleader...
So I told my wife; sometimes she talkes to me too. She gave her standard answer "Poke them with a stick!" So I did. They actually pretended to be scared and hide. It was just another trick to host another clandestine meeting whose purpose, among other things, was to undermine my authority. Now I'm really on the defensive. So I get a spare Maxi-Jet 1200 and by hand shoot the stream into every nook and cranny; skattering the rock, stirring up the Southdown into a cloud so thick that nothing could survive. After the dust settled they continued to pretend to be my friends. But I ain't that stupid. I have now taken out a contract on each and everyone of them. I know that the Brittle/Serpent Stars are on my side; they told me so. We'll just have to wait and see.
I've learned my lesson though: Never, ever talk to your fish, at least if you must, don't tell them the truth. They will certainly use it against you. I'm also loadin' up the HK-91 to pay a little visit to those analysts. I realize now that they were in cahoots with the fish all along.
PS My next project is to open up a dialog with my corals.
PPS Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean that they are NOT out to get me.
)... Great story. 
