anyone else experience this?

[platybreeder26]

Okay, I know this isnt a forum for mental health, but I have been having issues lately. I got my aquarium about three weeks ago, and I added fish right away, which was a mistake. I lost alot of them, all but one. It made me sad and I cried, I know they are just fish, but still it makes me sad. Now that I have one left, every night I get this wierd feeling its like dread, sadness and anxiety all mixed together. I dont know why. Its only at night before bed and it only happens when I think of the aquarium or feed my fish. Its unbearable and makes it hard for me to enjoy my aquarium. Or really anything like camping or visiting family.. someone help. Did anyone else experience this? Bescause it feels like the feeling before you cry, where your trying to hold back and be brave but its not working. And once I start crying I dont why I am or whats wrong with me, and it makes me regret getting a tank, but SOME ONE HELP

 

[Pseudomugil]

I understand you trying to convince yourself that they're "just fish" to make yourself feel better, but in reality they are not "just fish". They are living things that deserve to be happy, taken care of properly, and have a good home.

Maybe to help with the sadness, do some more research for fish care, and slowly add a few more fish to the tank each week and try to keep them happy and thriving. If you succeed, I'm sure you'll feel great.

 

[DeirdreHoyle]

I think you are having a pretty standard 'new fish keeper' experience. I got my first tank and lost almost all of my fish to ich and was so depressed....I didn't even clean the tank for 2 weeks because I couldn't bear to look at it and face that I had killed all my fish! Then I joined this forum, cycled my tank and did everything right. Now I feel great do some research and you will feel better, don't worry.

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[HausMaus]

Totally understand where you're coming from. I too suffered 'new fish keeper' syndrome (thanks DeirdrHoyle!). I lost quite a few fish in setting up my tank and learnt a lot about water chemistry in the process. I became obsessed with the water parameters and stared at my fish and was paranoid about the slightest change in behaviour or swimming patterns.
Now that my tank is looking after itself (balance wise) and my fish have had fry, I can now finally enjoy the hobby. I nearly gave it all up and seriously considered it just the day before the fry dropped. Hang in there, you're not alone.

 

[Mebbid]

The best way to avoid this dread (guilt) is to make sure you have the safest environment for your fish that you can. This way you will know that it's not directly caused by your actions if you lose a fish. Just work to keep the ammonia and nitrites no higher than 0.25ppm and your nitrates below 40ppm (the closer to 0 the better). When you keep the water at those levels you're doing all the maintenance you can really do to prevent fish from becoming ill. There's other things such as proper quarantining to help prevent fish death as well.

Almost all of us at the beginning kill lots of fish, I like to use myself as an example for this. It took me a long long time and many many lost fish before I learned to properly care for them. In fact, my first tank was at around 600% stocking level according to Aqadvisor After having went through that learning curve I spend a lot of time here helping others from making many of the same mistakes I did. I would like to think that I've helped save more fish than I've killed.

 

[ImACoolguy]

Others will give the speech on proper fish care...

Most of us know where you're coming from, whether it be a goldfish in a bowl or something of that nature we all have lost fish and started somewhere. I started with a goldfish in a 2.5g tank. His name was Wilbur and at that point in my life he was my best friend as I started a new job. Knowing nothing, Wilbur passed in a week of ich. It broke my heart..

What you can do is reflect on what's happened. In this hobby we learn more from hands on experience than you may realize right now. Look back on what's happened and learn from it. There's people that have been in this hobby for 30+ years and still learn new things. We have all had fish pass and sometimes it's not our fault. Our job is to give them the best care possible and let nature do the rest.

I hope this experience does not deter you from the joys of owning an aquarium but rather stokes the fire of your passion and the drive to learn and do better. Because that's what it did to me, when Wilbur died I was sad, angry and confused. I sat down and started researching because I wanted to know why and what I. Plus do to make sure it never happened again.

You have come to the right place, the people here are true hobbyists who want nothing more than to help you be successful and we all learn from each other.


Caleb

 

[PoppaRyno]

Im sorry for your loss. Try and think about how much you care in a positive way. They couldve gone to someone who didnt care at all. Caring ensures youll take pre cautions and only be a better fish keeper. Keep your head up. Weve all messed up, and weve all gotten better.

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