Has anyone else ever felt like just giving up?

[no_fin_nipping]

Today, the temperature rose dramatically and the pregnant molly died, leaving two female and one male molly. Plus the other fish. Yesterday, I got another black tetra. The guy at the fish store said that my tank was not overstocked and I had room to put in 'quite a few' more fish since 'they're all real small.'

You have fish dying, yet you add them as fast as they die. First, can you explain why? Why would you put more fish at risk if the tank is having a problem? I''m haing a lot of trouble understanding this.

The guy at the LFS is an idiot making $7 an hour. In my late teens and early 20's I worked at a LFS. The pay was about 20% over minimum wage, plus 10% of what I sold. In those days, I knew how to bag fish fast, ring them up and move on to the next customer. My only goal was to make the customer spend more. The "guy at the LFS" more often than not is not going to give you good information. This comes from personal experience. That was 20 years ago. I learned a little since then.

 

[sarah5775]

Well......I could blame bad advice I got from the fish stores I went to.....but no one forced me to follow the advice, so I guess its my own fault. I think I did too little research and did not/do not have a good understanding of how the tank works and what can be defined as a 'problem.' My biggest mistake was reading a few articles on tank setup and supposing I knew what I was doing. I made one post here when I bought that tank and thought I knew enough to do it on my own. I should have posted here at every juncture, asking advice before each purchase or change. I'm definitely going to do that now.

 

[no_fin_nipping]

I know its hard to find good information. Instead of heading out to the web, may I suggest the local library or bookstore. Any book on fishkeeping for beginners from t.f.h. is a good source and there are others.
This is the problem I have with the web and the guy at the store, what are their credentials. I can lump myself into that too.
If a book was written, an author was paid good money, the publisher paid the printer good money and hopefully buyers pay good money for the book, there is probably a good reason it made it that far... the information is good and valid. Not to say you can't get the same info here, because you can, but I try to rely on known authorities.

 

[bosk1]

I know its hard to find good information. Instead of heading out to the web, may I suggest the local library or bookstore. Any book on fishkeeping for beginners from t.f.h. is a good source and there are others.
This is the problem I have with the web and the guy at the store, what are their credentials. I can lump myself into that too.
If a book was written, an author was paid good money, the publisher paid the printer good money and hopefully buyers pay good money for the book, there is probably a good reason it made it that far... the information is good and valid. Not to say you can't get the same info here, because you can, but I try to rely on known authorities.

Valid point, BUT... There is something to be said for having a group of experienced people who are immersed in the hobby now who know what they are doing. For example, if I read two books at the library because I was trying to figure out what kind of filter to use, I might see a book written in the '80s or '90s saying undergravel is the only way to go, and a newer book saying HOB or cannister is the way to go. Not only would I be confused and not have someone in the hobby right now be able to explain to me how and why new knowledge has caused the trend to change, and would miss out on other important facets of aquarium keep as well, such as the nitrogen cycle. An older book might appear to be an authority on something, but will not take into account the vast amount of relatively knew knowledge in the hobby. Plus, you can't ask a book questions. For those reasons, sites like this can be invaluable.

 

[tropicfishman]

don't dispair little one, every set back sets you up for an even better come back you know your always welcome to ask a question on here good luck

 

[plecoperson]

I got "Aquarium Fishes of the World"; a dreamy freshwater atlas that I love like a brother. But there is some very old-fashioned advice included in there, and a lot of weird personal bias about some species. Did you know that most pl*cos are "ugly" and "completely unappealing"? 8O

I was away from fishkeeping for about 20 years, and these forums are a godsend. You learn to pick through the posts and you figure out who has a good head on their shoulders; in the end you make your own decisions about what makes sense.

I like having both-I'd love to increase my fishy library by about 1000 books, but I think the info found here and on other forums is invaluable. You get a lot more points of view, rather than just that of a few authors (who are probably of a similar philosopy).

 

[Codefox]

Don't give up! I've had my own struggles this past year trying to do things with my tank I'd never tried before and up until now its been one total disaster after another. But you'll learn from every misstep and eventually will have less of them.

You're only 4 months into this. In year, your friends are going to be calling you asking for advance

Also, I saw someone recommend books over the internet as a resource. I strongly disagree. The people on this site have vasts amount of knowledge and experience...you won't go wrong getting advice here. One thing you may want to try though is a subscription to TFH magazine.

Its been my favorite magazine for a long time

 

[MSU Fan]

As Codefox stated, most changes result in disaster when you are first starting out (or are starting over). I started my 29g FW ~6 months ago, and I have had similar disasters. But here's key: you will learn from the mistakes and issues. There are a number of consistent messages on this site, so let me try to sum them up (in no particular order):

1. be patient (sudden or drastic=disaster or overreaction)
2. don't use chemicals if you don't need to (you can treat for multiple types of diseases by adjusting salinity or temperature or light). you do need to dechlorinate your tap water, so use prime or aquasafe or any of the other brands, they are all the same.
3. don't overfeed (every other day is fine)
4. do your gravel vacs and your pwc consistently (you flush the toilet when you go to the bathroom, so help them flush theirs!)
5. if you have a problem and you don't know what to do, ask! the people on this site as well as employees at respectable lfs have probably experienced something similar to you, and they can help. don't guess because you feel an urgency. overreaction is a bad thing for a fish tank.

I have also scoured these forums for every scrap bit of knowledge i can...in fact, i just built my own 75g stand, and am going to be building a 75g canopy and a 125g canopy too. Just goes to show what you learn online!

 

[no_fin_nipping]

I know its hard to find good information. Instead of heading out to the web, may I suggest the local library or bookstore. Any book on fishkeeping for beginners from t.f.h. is a good source and there are others.
This is the problem I have with the web and the guy at the store, what are their credentials. I can lump myself into that too.
If a book was written, an author was paid good money, the publisher paid the printer good money and hopefully buyers pay good money for the book, there is probably a good reason it made it that far... the information is good and valid. Not to say you can't get the same info here, because you can, but I try to rely on known authorities.

Valid point, BUT... There is something to be said for having a group of experienced people who are immersed in the hobby now who know what they are doing. For example, if I read two books at the library because I was trying to figure out what kind of filter to use, I might see a book written in the '80s or '90s saying undergravel is the only way to go, and a newer book saying HOB or cannister is the way to go. Not only would I be confused and not have someone in the hobby right now be able to explain to me how and why new knowledge has caused the trend to change, and would miss out on other important facets of aquarium keep as well, such as the nitrogen cycle. An older book might appear to be an authority on something, but will not take into account the vast amount of relatively knew knowledge in the hobby. Plus, you can't ask a book questions. For those reasons, sites like this can be invaluable.

But the basics are the basics and haven't changed in generations. As to what filter, one might say that is marketing. I personally like the old filters and have had great success with corner and UGF filters, as in no fatalities for more than 1 year. But that's my experience. As they say, your milage may vary.
On some boards I no longer read, I have to say some posts trying to help have been simply idiotic. People have 1's and 2's of many kinds of fish that need to school. 2 neon tetras in a tank will probably not survive, because they can't school. Then again, if you have a school of 10 neons, you can't add 10 other fish and have 20-25 inches of fish in a 10 gallon, but I see it all the time (tank usually isn't cycled) and absurdly overstocked. Invariably, one person will say that's OK and somehow is accepted as an authority, even though it seems to be he's an idiot. I've even see mods and admins spout total non-sense. Problem is you can create a board for nothing. You can get it on aqua rank and sooner or later, drive hundreds even thousands to the board. Having the title "mod" gives instant authority on the web. I could create my own board, instantly give myself credentials, and start pumping misinformation on a large scale within a few days. This is the danger of the web. My wife has a Master's in Library Science and is the department head of a medium sized library. Her feeling is a librarian needs to help patrons sort fact from fiction at the library, particularly on the web. Wikipedia is a prime example. Seems like an authority. Anyone can edit any part of it, at any time, without any way to trace the information. I've seen someone put wrong information, as in insects are a variety of fish, and that version existed with that absurd error for more than a year. Without checks and balances, sometimes hard facts are hard to find on the web.

 

[greenmaji]

Can have sucess with the oldest methods that exist, Yes

Did I use a UGF in my main tank 17 years ago? Yes

Fitration changes have not been a product of marketing, when was the last time you saw an advertisment for an aquaium filter anyway?

I can honestly say that I have studied intensly all known filtration methods and all of them have there ups and downs (some have more downs then ups)

If you couse to use a difficult fitration method your not likely going to get alot of help on the best way of using those tools anymore, alot of people were not very sucessfull running them back then

Lets not start mini flame war about filters right now.. Or who is an athourty on what. We should be more intrested in helping the OP's situation.

 

[no_fin_nipping]

As they say, your milage may vary.

 

[MSU Fan]

We all feel your pain...i have been trying to cycle my tank for 2+ months...sometimes it is hard to be patient, but its worth it in the end.

 

[bigmac1878]

i've felt like giving up every day for the last month. we're having what is no longer a 'mini' heatwave in the uk and my temp is way too high. just yesterday it maxed out at 35c (94f). as i don't have air con, i'm resorting to the ice in a bag method. lots of ice needed, limited resourses to make it. i'm even using the freezer at work and bringing it home with me(the ice, not the freezer). the temp fluctuations must really be stressing the fish especially the white clouds.