How do you deal with people who say "They're just fish"

[Aqua315]

Hi everyone! I've got a 28 gal which I've put a lot of time and money into to get it going but my mom doesn't see it as needed. Today I have to go purchase a new heater because my old one is on the fritz and when I told her she just complained about me spending more money. (Unfortunately, it is her money since I'm jobless right now) I have a betta that I've been wanting to upgrade into a bigger tank since I started reading this forum. He in a tiny little 1/2 gal and I feel so bad seeing him in there. I wanted to get a 5 gal for him but my mom started going off on how he's been in that little tank for a year and is fine and to not waste money. When it comes to our dogs and cats she'll spend whatever is necessary but when it comes to my fish they just don't seem to matter to her. On a side note, does anyone know where I can find inexpensive aquariums besides craigslist? I'm hoping if I can get a good deal on a 5 gal she won't be so mad.

 

[jcolon]

Petco has the $1.00 / Gallon sale ... I think it's still going on. I find 5gal are more than 10gal.

As for your main issue ... no real way for anyone to understand unless they take care of fish. With that comes understanding cycling, and PWC's and all the required maintenance. You can try to explain all this and see if she'll better understand ... but to some people, their just fish and not "really" pets.

 

[jcolon]

I gave this some more thought and one try three things.

1. Let her know the aesthetic look a well maintained and adorned tank can
give a room. Let's be honest dogs and cats are great ... but they don't add to the aesthetic look of a room.

2. Explain to her the educational benefits of an aquarium like the different sciences / environments an aquarium provides.
See the link below for examples
http://www.aquariumadvice.com/forums/f23/give-a-list-of-the-science-s-of-aquariums-153383.html

3. Is there something you can share with your mom about the tank ... for example does she like planting / gardening? If so talk about ways of maintaining aquatic plants.

 

[alLexX]

find a fish she likes that can go in your tank

 

[tarpon]

Ask for money for something else. And use it on the tank

 

[Grizz]

Tell your trying to do the right thing. you can prey on her guilt lol Say mom you've raised a caring young man/woman and like her you want to provide the best home that you can. say we have the whole world to explore and you would like the same for your fish. Mom would'nt you like a bigger house with rooms to explore and decorate Offer to do more chores to offset the cost mow lawns rake leaves do a car wash one weekend get a pail sponge and some soap and go door 2 door washing cars

 

[Aqua315]

Tell your trying to do the right thing. you can prey on her guilt lol Say mom you've raised a caring young man/woman and like her you want to provide the best home that you can. say we have the whole world to explore and you would like the same for your fish. Mom would'nt you like a bigger house with rooms to explore and decorate Offer to do more chores to offset the cost mow lawns rake leaves do a car wash one weekend get a pail sponge and some soap and go door 2 door washing cars

Lol that might work.

 

[alLexX]

Tell your trying to do the right thing. you can prey on her guilt lol Say mom you've raised a caring young man/woman and like her you want to provide the best home that you can. say we have the whole world to explore and you would like the same for your fish. Mom would'nt you like a bigger house with rooms to explore and decorate Offer to do more chores to offset the cost mow lawns rake leaves do a car wash one weekend get a pail sponge and some soap and go door 2 door washing cars

thats a great idea

 

[1 LARA]

Im a vegitarian
I was told fish aint meat before.
I was also told fish have no sol.

 

[New]

i got a job to pay for everything myself....although i still get an annoyed remark, it's a lot better than what it would be if she payed

 

[GoldfishNewbie]

Im a vegitarian
I was told fish aint meat before.
I was also told fish have no sol.

+1 to another vegetarian

 

[Aqua315]

Yeah I'd love to get a job but right now I'm a full time college student with an internship (non-paid) and don't have time for anything else.

 

[siva]

Hi everyone! I've got a 28 gal which I've put a lot of time and money into to get it going but my mom doesn't see it as needed. Today I have to go purchase a new heater because my old one is on the fritz and when I told her she just complained about me spending more money. (Unfortunately, it is her money since I'm jobless right now) I have a betta that I've been wanting to upgrade into a bigger tank since I started reading this forum. He in a tiny little 1/2 gal and I feel so bad seeing him in there. I wanted to get a 5 gal for him but my mom started going off on how he's been in that little tank for a year and is fine and to not waste money. When it comes to our dogs and cats she'll spend whatever is necessary but when it comes to my fish they just don't seem to matter to her. On a side note, does anyone know where I can find inexpensive aquariums besides craigslist? I'm hoping if I can get a good deal on a 5 gal she won't be so mad.

First of all, what is in your 28 gal? It may be a suitable community for your betta to join.

When confronted with the "they're just fish" argument I usually say that I try to value the health and happiness of all living beings. Who am I to decide one life is more valuable than another.

 

[New]

i say "yes, they are fish, and fish are awesome"

 

[Aqua315]

First of all, what is in your 28 gal? It may be a suitable community for your betta to join.

When confronted with the "they're just fish" argument I usually say that I try to value the health and happiness of all living beings. Who am I to decide one life is more valuable than another.

My 28 gal is currently almost finished cycling. Eventually it will hold:
8 neons
1 blue gourami
3 nerite snails
2 dwarf cichlids (either cockatoo apistos or german blue rams)

 

[Aqua315]

Well i talked with my mom today. I started with how the new heater i bought today was working well. Her first question of course: how much did it cost? I told her the truth that it was almost $35. She was upset of course but then I reminded her that since I'm cycling with fish I need a good heater, and that she was the one who wouldn't let me give away the 3 fish I have, thus forcing me to do an in-fish cycle. So she wouldn't let me give them away but she won't let me spend money to get them healthy and fix the tank? Didn't seem right to me.

After this argument she got a lot less hostile and even agreed to let me get a 5 gal in a couple weeks after she pays off some bills.

 

[siva]

My 28 gal is currently almost finished cycling. Eventually it will hold:
8 neons
1 blue gourami
3 nerite snails
2 dwarf cichlids (either cockatoo apistos or german blue rams)

Ah ok then, it's not a perfect fit for a betta, I would go ahead and get him his own tank. In the meantime just keep his water nice and clean for him.

 

[Terrance]

Full-time student with internship experience.. Your mom should buy you more stuff for making good decisions in life. Fish keeping is the only way to take your mind off of work and school.

Cut cost by having LFS match online prices. An aqueon 200w heater could easily be purchased for less than $20.

Keep it up bud!

 

[Clynnking]

I am always struck by the salesperson who asks you if you are prepared to get a larger tank for this 1" fish. Yes, when it gets too big I will upgrade to a larger tank! You would think I was adopting a cat or dog! I do love my fish and am enjoying them immensely. I currently have a 36 gallon bowfront and a 20 gallon quarunteen tank. I am wondering how many more to put it in the newly cycled tank. I have 9 fish now. My quarunteen tank has perfect ph and ammonia levels.
I need to get the ph down in the bow front before transfering a couple right? Ph in my bowfront is 7.6. Want to drop it but reading that ph down won't help because of the iron in our water.

 

[McLumpy]

Just so you know, it never ends. lol There will always be people in your life that don't have a clear understanding of what's involved when it comes to taking care of fish.

For instance, I'm married, work full-time, and have a toddler. The one thing that I enjoy is watching/taking care of my fish. My husband constantly makes remarks to make me feel like my hobby is interfering w/ our busy lifestyle and such. For example; "Why do you need to change out the water so much? Why do you need to buy another tank for your sick fish? How much did that cost?". It's annoying, but I know that it's because he has no interest in fish and doesn't realize what's involved. So... I just ignore him and do my thing.

So yes, you will have issues like this when a loved one, (in your case, your mom), or a friend doesn't fully understand the fundamentals of fishkeeping. Like others had mentioned, you can offer to share your knowledge about fish. However, if she's not interesting, there's not much you can do.

Relying on your mom to financially support your hobby doesn't help. Perhaps you could eliminate that issue by taking up odd jobs, (i.e. mowing lawns, walking dogs, etc.)? I'm sure that would help her realize how much you cherish your hobby if she sees that you're taking the initiative to buy things on your own. Just a friendly suggestion.