Hubby won't let me start a third tank, only 10gal

[Deitta]

I have my 29 gal, was able to sneak in the 1.6gal tank as a "birthday gift" for my 6yo daughter. I have MTS really bad, but would be very happy with only setting up the 10gal that is already sitting out on my porch. I have kept it around for years hopping to set up a tank. Once I talked him into a tank, I talked him into a 29gal.
Since I am breeding balloon mollies, I want to have a place to put the ones with the traits that aren't desireable. A kind of catch-all for the youngest fry with the wrong coloring or the wrong traits, or the fish that just don't behave well in my show/breeding tank. Like the poor guromi who is in the 1.6gal.
I have been working on him about setting up the 10gal on the kitchen table, but with very little success. Any one have any tips on how to talk my mate into just one more tank? Please keep in mind that I only have the two tanks now. And I can not just set one up and deal with the outcome. I would need to get his approval before even starting to set up or to get items to start set up.

 

[Fruitbat]

Have you tried a small stick of dynamite to blow him off his perch??? My wife is almost as bad...she grumbled when I bought my 26 gal....snarled when I got my daughter a 5 gal....and scowls every time I even MENTION the 46 gal bow-front (or 55 gal) that I'll be buying in the next few months. Note, however, that I WILL be buying it, scowls, snarls, grumbles and all.

I don't suppose the logical approach will work with him....using the same reasons you gave here? After all....you need to have a fry tank up and running so that you can raise them to decent size and make some money on them by selling them to your lfs....right???

Hmmm....how about bribery? Is there anything that he REALLY wants to have (no...not THAT, silly!) that you could 'trade' him for the 10 gallon?? I've always found that bartering works with my spousal unit.

 

[stoneydee]

I'm glad that's not an issue here. Money and space are my adversaries in completely caving in to MTS (of course, I have six already, two planted tens, a divided betta ten, two thirty-sevens and a twenty). I really want a 55 fresh, with some silver dollars. . .

 

[oscarbreeder]

I like the bartering it seems to work good around here.
because I have a 55gal, a29gal, a 10gal qt, a 5gal and a 180 in layaway.

Yes I had to do some MAJOR bartering for that one...lol
It's only fair right?
You do for me and I do for you...lol

 

[BrianNY]

This seems really sad to me. The first question is why would he object to another tank? Perhaps there is a very good reason. The second is about dealing with the outcome. Will he beat you? Abandon you?

Perhaps I should mind my own business here but I'd let him know it's something you really want, and your happiness is no less important than his. Sorry to be so blunt.

 

[loganj]

You could just get rid of him and get another husband...they're plentiful . I'm kidding of course. I can sort of understand an objection to having it on the kitchen table though. My wife wasn't too receptive to the idea of putting a tank in the bathroom 8O . Perhaps you could come up with a place to put it where it wouldn't be in the way? I dunno really...I tend to agree with BrianNY...your happiness is just as important is his. Perhaps he has a hobby that he might welcome your involvement in? And would in kind be more receptive to you expanding your hobby?

 

[Sati]

This seems really sad to me. The first question is why would he object to another tank?

That's my first thought as well... My BF has some reasonable objections he can use for now. We don't have enough money because there are other things we need to take care of first. and.... We're living in apartments so we probably shouldn't have 500 gallons of water in them (but that's not really a reason to me since we're going to be on the first floor again, lol).

But other than that I think it's the perfect hobby for me. I think that about 80% of my brain is dedicated to my passion for plants and animals. I love both so much! So creating aquascapes with animals that won't fill the house with any more fur, and the potential for planted and/or reef tanks combines my two loves. Plus, there's the fact that there is always more learning to do, so it really keeps me, my mind, and my hands busy :]

I've discussed this all with him. He's into cars, I'm into aquariums. As long as we both get our own spending money we can do with it what we like, aside from buying crack of course

I have 3 cats, 1 dog, and 3 tanks. I'm going to hold off on the mammals for now, but I have designs for 8 more tanks in mind. I hope we get into a house sooner rather than later!

 

[TankGirl]

Welcome to AA, and I am pleased to see the fine state of Alaska represented!

My husband has gotten very accustomed to my tank collection, and that is why they call me Tank Girl, because nobody understands why I keep getting new tanks but they have decided it is harmless and keeps me out of trouble!

I echo BrianNY, and would like to know the specific objection. When I first started expanding my tank collection there were very good reasons I had for needing more tanks, and as there were things that my husband "needed" we took turns, so to speak. Now that he is used to my hobby and has even started taking an active interest in it, it is easier, but we had to make compromises along the way. If you are selling your bred fish and have to cull your fry to keep your breeding line in good shape, that is a worthwhile investment. It is not like you are doing taxidermy in the living room! (Apologies to all of the taxidermists out there )

 

[Sati]

Tank Girl, that happened to me with my BF too. He called me "crazy fish lady" and told me I was obsessed all the time. Then this past fall he fell in love with Orandas and just HAD to have this one particular fish. Since then we've gotten him two friends. He loves those fish.

My mother doesn't see it at all. Just the other day she said she just can't understand "Why fish?" and shakes her head. She's missing out!

 

[TankGirl]

I am fortunate that my friends and family just gave me a nickname and leave it at that, I guess! (My license plate on my car is TankGirl, too, which goes with my AA bumper stickers - everybody get one, they are cheap!)

It is interesting how my husband is starting to get into it, and is very anxious that I start a discus tank. Now he is getting annoying with his suggestions, because of course he does not do the research. I am going to have to get him signed on to Aquarium Advice so he can do research before he makes his suggestions to me!!

I do recognize that all mates might not be as accommodating, and I am not as understanding about some of my husband's interests. I can feel my eyes glaze over when he starts talking about his hobbies, sometimes. Some people think fish tanks are unsanitary and akin to setting up a kennel in the kitchen, so the trick is to try to point out the joy and satisfaction you get from your hobby, and there are worse things you could be doing to occupy your free time. A small tank can be had second-hand for cheap many times, so it does not have to be very expensive (though it certainly can be!). I think of it as living art, but not everyone appreciates art, after all.

 

[BrianNY]

We all must go through the same things. None of my friends here are into fish. When I show my golf buddies my tank of discus and I'll I'm doing with the plants they look at me like I'm nuts .

Maybe that's why I spend so much time on this site. Like TankGirl once said...kindred spirits. It's great to talk to others who share the same passion

 

[TankGirl]

Amen, Brian!

 

[Deitta]

The biggest objection from him is that he hates the sound of the air pumps.... so I have suggested that I can set it up with the filter from my 29 Gal (it is rated for 10-30 gal) (and get a better sized one for the 29 gal) so there would be enough water circulation and surface movement to avoid another pump. The second is that he doesn't want the kitchen table taken up with a tank. But we don't use it for anything but holding stacks of mail and artwork from my daughter.... hmmm maybe I should approach it that I would be taking better care of the paperwork buildup so that I can see the tank better....
My husband would rather hurt himself than ever to deny anything... normally... but his exgirlfriend had 3 tanks (no clue as to what they were) and she did not take care of them. He ended up taking care of them himself. He has been impressed with how well I have been taking care of the 29 gal, better than he thought I would. I can be a flighty type person, but when I was in grade school I wanted to be a marine biologist... so I guess an old obsession is in play here.
At dinner tonight I hit him with very logical reasons, and got him to argree to at least see how much space the 10 gal will take. Used his personal philosophy against him... tee hee... he did concedehat t I made some logical points, and I did just buy him a new PS2. So wish me luck.

 

[TankGirl]

I wish you the best of luck, Deitta, and I think you are on the right track. I keep a 12-gal Eclipse on my kitchen counter (no air pump, just the integral water filter, and as long as you keep the water level up there is no splashing sound) and we all enjoy looking at the fish when we are in there. It is soothing and relaxing to watch.

 

[Sati]

Now he is getting annoying with his suggestions, because of course he does not do the research. I am going to have to get him signed on to Aquarium Advice so he can do research before he makes his suggestions to me!!

Me too! "Ben, I've looked it up and done a lot of reading in addition to asking people who have a lot of experience!" He doesn't do any reading and always suggest we do whatever the stupid guys at the lfs say

I think of it as living art, but not everyone appreciates art, after all.

Me too

 

[Sati]

PS2 = at least a new 40 gallon!!! Get 'im!

 

[thatlouguy]

Have you tried giving him his own tank as a gift? After all, he couldn't refuse a wonderful and thoughful gift. That would be rude. You can even offer to set it up and look after his fish for him. If that doesn't work, buy him a fish of his own but don't let him put it in your tank, he'll have to get his own.

 

[Enki]

I love my fish but I don't think I would put a tank on the kitchen table. I am containing my MTS in one room. It used to be called the computer room (my other hobby) but it will soon be the fish room!

I have my 50 gallon in there and soon there will be DIY shelves for a 10 gallon QT and a 20 gallon fry grow-out tank on one shelf, and a 30-40 gallon shell dweller setup on the other. The trick for me was finding the right place, then everything came together.

 

[PlatyLady]

LOL This thread makes me appreciate my accomodating housemates. Not one of them blinked an eye when I impulse-bought my latest 10 gallon tank, and they're not at all into aquariums. We all have our own obsessions!

I suppose it's just easier to tell me to do what I want, rather than listen to me blither on for weeks on end. Maybe you could try that approach...

"Should I buy it? Should I not buy it? It's a harmless hobby. Do I need it? Who cares if I need it, I think I want it!" etc, etc, etc.

 

[PlatyLady]

BTW, I didn't realize you could put a gourami in a 1.6 gallon tank. Isn't that too small?