Looks like you are doing your research. Try googling reef aquarium water chmistry. There's a lot of good articles out there that discuss how each element affects the others.
When you go to buy salt- try to use reef crystals. Life will be much easier.
Try to stay away from Refugium "stuff" that goes sexual- instead stick with a macroalgae like chaeto.
Research everything before you buy it! Even coral compatibilites. There are some softies that release a defensive chemical that can kill sps
Before you start buying anything- find your centerpiece livestock and build around that.
Join a local reef club- fairly inexpensive and often the best way to get cheap frags.
Most of all- let your wife pick out corals and fish- in the end you may start seeing the fish fund grow