How is your water parameters? How old is the tank? These are both small tanks to be keeping anemones (BTAs grow quite large) do both of you have a log of your test results? Keeping parameters stable in small tanks is difficult (have a 10g) even slight fluctuations in temp and salinity can be harmful for anemones. Also what lighting do you have?
I personally have a kessil a360 and do regular water test and everything is perfect