Sad, I have no terribly interesting retail stories. I work at lowes in the plumbing department, usually if they are attempting a plumbing job, they know enough about it that they don't really need much help from me beyond finding things. There are some interesting people that come in though. I've seen more than a few giant shirtless nasty men walking around the store...There was one time when I found a...feminine hygiene product (unused thankfully) stuck in a box of pipe fittings. How it got there I will never understand. There have been several disorderly/violent drunks come in.
It's not the dumb people that bother me where I work, it's the people that get annoyed when I don't know as much as a professional plumber would. I only had a guy chew me out for a half hour because I had only worked there for a month and I didn't know the difference between type L and type M copper. haha, I never wanted to strangle any other person more.