fish jokes

[Alkane]

Thanks for reviving my joke thread.

 

[LyndaB]

OK, I have a confession. I don't get it. Is he crying because his dad yelled at him for laughing?

Actually, the Dad could've gone all Norman Bates on the kid..... I mean c'mon, you've just caught the biggest fish ever, your line breaks and your kid laughs his butt off...... of course, I would've just tossed the kid into the lake but that's just me.

 

[jetajockey]

 

[George9]

Haha lol

 

[LyndaB]

A young man and an old man were fishing on a pier.The young man started telling the old one that the night before he caught a trout that was over 3 1/2 foot long.

The old man replied "Oh yea, well I was here 2 nights ago and I hooked something huge. After a 30 minute fight I finally got it up and it was an old lantern and the thing was still lit."

The young man said "You're lying. I can't believe that."

Then the old man said "I'll tell you what, you knock a couple of foot off your trout and I'll blow out my lantern."





If two goldfish were in the river with the river flowing south and one drowned where would the body float to?

 

[Skeeter4158098]

A young man and an old man were fishing on a pier.The young man started telling the old one that the night before he caught a trout that was over 3 1/2 foot long.

The old man replied "Oh yea, well I was here 2 nights ago and I hooked something huge. After a 30 minute fight I finally got it up and it was an old lantern and the thing was still lit."

The young man said "You're lying. I can't believe that."

Then the old man said "I'll tell you what, you knock a couple of foot off your trout and I'll blow out my lantern."



If two goldfish were in the river with the river flowing south and one drowned where would the body float to?

It wouldn't float it would be on land.

 

[LyndaB]

um...... no.

 

[butterfly_koi]

The body wouldn't float anywhere, fish can't drown

 

[LyndaB]

What do you get when you cross two elephants and a fish?

 

[butterfly_koi]

What do you get when you cross two elephants and a fish?

Can't even fathom what the answer could be

 

[FishEggs]

a squished fish twice over.

 

[fishfanatic]

LyndaB you are so funny!!! I love this thread!

 

[butterfly_koi]

I know what it is! Lol can't tell though because I cheated and looked it up.

 

[Jlsardina]

 

[Chronos313]

Why fishing is better than making love

* When you go fishing and you catch something, that's good
- If you're making love and you catch something, that's bad.

* Fish don't compare you to other fishermen neither.
- And don't want to know how many other fish you caught.

* In fishing you lie about the one that got away.
- In loving you lie about the one you caught.

* You can catch and release a fish. You don't have to lie, and promise to still be friends after you let it go.

* You don't necessarily have to change your line to keep catching fish.

* You can catch a fish on a 20-cent frozen squid.
- If you want to catch a woman you're talking dinner and a movie minimum.

* Fish don't mind if you fall asleep in the middle of fishing.

Sorry I just had to this made me chuckle

 

[RussellC]

Aquarium Advice Poster: "My tap water is sooo hard!"

Aquarium Advice Answerer: "Really, what are your gH and kH?"

Aquarium Advice Poster: "Don't know, never tested them."

Aquarium Advice Answerer: "Then how do you know the water's hard?"

Aquarium Advice Poster: "Because when my fish need a break from swimming, they go for a walk!"

 

[barterking85]

Aquarium Advice Poster: "My tap water is sooo hard!"

Aquarium Advice Answerer: "Really, what are your gH and kH?"

Aquarium Advice Poster: "Don't know, never tested them."

Aquarium Advice Answerer: "Then how do you know the water's hard?"

Aquarium Advice Poster: "Because when my fish need a break from swimming, they go for a walk!"

Lol that's my favorite

 

[Skeeter4158098]

What do you get when you cross two elephants and a fish?

so still waiting for a answer. Lol

 

[butterfly_koi]

Lol

View attachment 104929

 

[Maxkolbe]

Lol.