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Old 10-30-2006, 10:32 PM   #1
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How supportive are your partners in this hobby?

Whatever I do, my wife just won’t give the support I need. Well, at least not saying the words I would like to hear. No matter how beautiful your tank is, she will just say: “it’s ok”, “looks normal”, “nothing special” that sort of things. She won’t go: “Wow, that’s beautiful!”, “that looks nice, hubby”, “unbelievable nice looking fish” etc etc. I just don’t know how to impress her with my tank.

Sometimes I ask her: “you really think they are only 'ok'?”, she will say: “well it’s nice, but you have spent too much $$$ on it.” That’s it! Whatever you need to spend money on they will not like it. I am into some other hobbies as well not just this one and all of them involve investing lots of $$$ that already put them off from the start, how can they be impressed by the results? What's worse sometimes I even have to make up a fake cheaper price for the stuffs I bought. Example a skimmer cost $100.00 I will only tell her I only spent $50 on it. So not to give her a heart attack.

Conclusion: If you get good result without spending any money, women will always be impressed. If you are going to put a great deal of $$$ into it to get that same result, forget it. Anyone in the same situation as me?
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Old 10-31-2006, 12:12 AM   #2
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Solution to this problem..find something SHE spends a lot of money on and do the same to her! Honestly my wife was the same way at first but now she is after me more to get stuff than what I want to gte for myself! We both agree she has her hobbies and I have mine!
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Old 10-31-2006, 06:46 AM   #3
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My Husband is very enthusiastic about my hobby.
He always says how good the tank looks & makes positive comments on mu purchases.
It is my hobby.But he enjoys the tank too(maybe not as much as me)
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Old 10-31-2006, 07:47 AM   #4
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Mine hates it . Till he saw something that he wanted but he is still not overly supportive at all ... I have never heard him say wow love it , most of the time the response is how much is that gonna cost us ? I have done the 2 micro picos and he refuses to look at them , or the 7 the 10 he is forced to as it is in the living room. So to answer the question at hand he is not very supportive
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Old 10-31-2006, 08:34 AM   #5
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Oh? I am surprise there are more female aquarists here than male. Am I the only one??? Some MALES voice out please? Let's hear some guys' experiences.
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Old 10-31-2006, 09:46 AM   #6
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I would take her to the LFS and have her browse, she may see something that gets her interest. Tanke an interest in one of her hobbies. Let her teach you and you teach her. To be honest, I wouldn't lie about the prices, she probably has a general idea of cheap over expensive. Maybe try to explain why you need something, or set up a budget, that you both can agree upon and not exceed. My fiance doesn't say anything to me. I think I know what she is thinking, but I am honest and take her with me to the LFS. At first she didn't take an interest, but now, she is slowly taking an interest. Like, "Oh, look at this, or What is that?" Just give it time, explain things, share, learn and have fun. That's just my $.02....
Good luck and keep us posted.
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Old 10-31-2006, 10:05 AM   #7
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At the begining my wife had nothing to do with my tank. She said I spent more time on it then her. Then I decided that maybe she was right and then I spent more time doing the things that she wanted to do. I actually spent something more valuable than money on my wife. It was called TIME. I also let my wife make some of the choices as far as corals and fish and she got more involved. Now when she sees those corals and fish she says there`s my fish and or coral. It makes her feel like she`s a part of the process. Weekf this was a great post. It should cause alot of us to reflect.
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Old 10-31-2006, 10:17 AM   #8
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Well, at first my girlfriend was all about the tank......

Until she realized how much time went into taking care of a nano reef! Then it was "You spend more time on the tank than with me", as others have said above. I thought about it.....she is a whiz, shes good at everything I throw at her and she loves to compete. I am a professional fishing guide in florida so we do a lot of fishing, and I think that is where some of it comes from. She always outfishes me.

So, rather than just drop the tank to spend more time with her....I choose to make it something we could both spend time on.....I bought her a tank!

I got her a 37 gal tank for the indoor window in our kitchen. She loves it. She is all about coral now and enjoys the hobby. She even made her own screen name to post pics of her fish and corals so everyone knew they were hers, not mine...which is awsome!

I still spend "too much time" with my tank though! .....Im working on it!
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Old 10-31-2006, 01:47 PM   #9
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Re: How supportive are your partners in this hobby?

Quote:
Originally Posted by weekf
Conclusion: If you get good result without spending any money, women will always be impressed. If you are going to put a great deal of $$$ into it to get that same result, forget it. Anyone in the same situation as me?
every guy u know!lol, wel its not all true though, if u spend alot of money on her instead they get happy to!lol
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Old 10-31-2006, 01:52 PM   #10
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my wife gets mad if i go to the lfs without her, my 28 gallon is even "her tank", thus the stocking is not what i would do, but by letting her have some control over that tank, i get to do what i want with the other ones
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