I need to vent!

[lmw80]

my brother is my parents' prized possession - he did everything like the book went to college, graduated, worked a couple of dead-end jobs to make money...now he has a good job, a fiancé that my parents love although I despise her... my brother gets everything the digital camera my parents got for me was a combined birthday/Chanukah present...I just found out recently they got my brother the same one for no reason at all

when I lived on my own, they didn't help me one dime...they help my brother pay rent...helped him buy both the cars he has owned...

so now they are getting married...in Florida

so, that's a plane ticket, plus extra $ for Florida cause they want to do all this stuff, a dress, etc....and their present.

their engagement party is this weekend...my mother is pissed that I am not getting them anything...I told her I cant afford it, I will be spending too much on the wedding. she disapproved, gave me nasty looks.
I said just because someone doesn't do what you feel is the right thing doesn't mean it's wrong - especially when that someone is not as well off as you are. She said, “He’s your brother!” I said, if he knew I couldn’t afford it, he wouldn’t want it anyway – just like all the times my brother didn’t get me a birthday or Chanukah present cause he had no money, I didn’t care!

I am apparently now rude, selfish and a witch. What the heck!

*Edit*
Last weekend was my grandmothers 80th birthday - we got together to celebrate...I got her a Grandma charm and necklace. My brother got her nothing - cause he couldn't afford it!!!!!! and in my parents eyes, that was perfectly fine and normal...they are saving up for the wedding, you know!

[William]

Join the club.

I'm in the same boat just about.

Perfect son can do no wrong, ect ect ect.


Tis why I plan on moving as far from my family as I can when I can afford.

[alrmc4]

while you are venting away something to remember...in my experience the "golden child" eventually falls on their face and because things have been made easy on them have no clue how to pick their own head up out of the dirt and dust it off where as the ones in life that were not handed every little thing have gained more because they have the ability to be a stronger more capable person just what i have noticed about people in general

[youronlysin]

Originally Posted by lmw80

I am apparently now rude, selfish and a witch. What the heck!

Your not selfish!!!


<<<<teasin :P

[melissa1977]

I guess it's not that bad being an only child...

But seriously, hopefully everything is going to get better for both of you guys. I understand that must be a very annoying situation.

I always wanted to have a bro or a sis. It's hard not to have somebody you can share stuff with that really know exactly where you're coming from.

You probably had some good time in the past with you siblings...When you get mad or sad think about the good days and feel lucky.

[nyghtone]

Heya, this story is as old as time itself!!!! Not that that makes it right, but it does make it the case. I'd just like to add one more thought, something that you should learn from this in the long run. This is a classic case of control freak, and it ruins people's lives, don't let yourself turn into that kind of person. Realize that every person has their own desires and wants and needs, and the only way to trully love is to allow people to live as such, only when people learn this will peace EVER insue in the average household...

[lmw80]

I am not at all upset with my brother for this. Now his fiance is a control freak and he again doesn't "run" his own life. I cherish my brother and the times we've had and will have, and I wouldn't take it away for the world.

I am more sorry for my parents naivety (sp?). But the way they make me feel when such things as this comes up just makes me mad and/or sad, as was the case this time.

Thank you all for your words.

[BrianNY]

Perhaps Lori, just perhaps your parents have greater expectations of you because they know that through strength of character, you're the one that can deliver.

[frshwaterfinatc]

I feel for you, Lori! I just escaped from the same living ***. Literally. Since then, I've attended therapy and found through genograms and analysis that my father is mentally unstable and probably should be on medications or put in a facility for extreme narcissism. My sister is an angel, and I'm simply the devil in disguise, according to my parents. I never did anything wrong. My father verbally and sexually abused me as a child, and I was taught to respect him above everything. I had no choice. If I did not, there was dire punishment. I was quiet, wholly submissive, and ultra respectful in every sense. But nothing I did would ever change the way he or my mother view me- the daughter they don't love as much.

1 year ago today I "ran" away while they left me home alone and went on a family vacation to Colorado for 2 weeks. This has only made me little more than dirt in their eyes, yet I feel happier than I ever dreamed possible for being away from their grasp of conservative "legalism" and control.

Yet I still love my sister and never have blamed any of this on her. I wish she could escape as I have. And I hope she will. Hang in there, and be thinking of how good it is that you don't live under the ame roof anymore, at least! That's how I try to console myself!

[dralarms]

My father verbally and sexually abused me as a child

He should be strung up by his you know whats. Please seek some help to put him where he belongs.