Go Back   Aquarium Advice - Aquarium Forum Community > Community Forum > Aquaria Off-Topic
Click Here to Login

Join Aquarium Advice Today
Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Please support our sponsors and let them know you heard about them on AquariumAdvice.com
 
Old 04-14-2005, 03:25 PM   #1
AA Team Emeritus
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Bristol, Pa
Posts: 5,973
Send a message via AIM to lmw80 Send a message via MSN to lmw80 Send a message via Yahoo to lmw80
Once again I come to you, my 2nd family for advice

My brother is getting married in July (I do not like his fiance, but unfortunately it is not my place to say/do anything). Although he lives only 5 minutes from me, he is getting married in Florida (Her family is flying in from Puerto Rico so they decided to make both families travel instead of just one...). I just spent $466.00 on round trip tickets for me and Daniel. If I had not gotten money back from the government, we would not have even been able to afford these tickets. Here's my problem/pickle/perdicament - I do not feel that we should now have to buy them a wedding gift. I know my family and I know it will be expected of me, but when is enough enough?? We barely get by every month with our bills as it is.

What do you guys think?? Help please!
__________________

__________________
-Lori
Join the Eastern PA/Greater Philadelphia Forum! Click here: http://www.aquariumadvice.com/groupcp.php?g=7825

Aquariums are like jello - there's always room for more.
lmw80 is offline  
Old 04-14-2005, 03:30 PM   #2
AA Team Emeritus
 
Jchillin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: New York, NY (The Big Apple)
Posts: 14,953
I feel for you Lori but tradition calls for a wedding gift. Plus, this is your brother...a sibling. It would be bad form not to.

That being said, nothing forces you to be extravagant with the gift. So long as you bring/provide one, you will be fine.

You didn't mention a bridal shower. This would be another area of mandatory gifting (along with baby shower(s), birthdays (hers and his), holidays, etc, etc., etc....
__________________

__________________
_________________________________
Jchillin is offline  
Old 04-14-2005, 03:37 PM   #3
AA Team Emeritus
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Bristol, Pa
Posts: 5,973
Send a message via AIM to lmw80 Send a message via MSN to lmw80 Send a message via Yahoo to lmw80
As of yet, I have not been informed of any bridal shower, so we will see.

Thanks Bill.
__________________
-Lori
Join the Eastern PA/Greater Philadelphia Forum! Click here: http://www.aquariumadvice.com/groupcp.php?g=7825

Aquariums are like jello - there's always room for more.
lmw80 is offline  
Old 04-14-2005, 03:39 PM   #4
AA Team Emeritus
 
austinsdad's Avatar


 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Accokeek, Maryland
Posts: 7,694
Yeah, Lori. Kinda wondering how you'd feel about a gift if she was a favorite? Only you can answer that one, but like Jchillin says, you may only make matters worse if you don't gift. $20 bucks an month buys you a $60 gift certificate (or gift) in July.

Better still. I'll betcha I can find and dust off one of those gifts we've received in the past and bring it to Bawlemer next month for you!
__________________
-Ray-

"Life may not be the party we hoped for but while we are here we might as well dance!"

austinsdad is offline  
Old 04-14-2005, 03:45 PM   #5
Moderator Emeritus
 
Menagerie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Vancouver, WA
Posts: 13,232
Quote:
$20 bucks an month buys you a $60 gift certificate (or gift) in July.
8O Unfortunately, more would be expected.
Did they register, or are they expecting cash gifts? If they registered, start shopping early and look for sales!
__________________

Menagerie is offline  
Old 04-14-2005, 03:55 PM   #6
AA Team Emeritus
 
BillyZ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Western NY
Posts: 4,064
this is your brother. He knows you and it's not about "the gift" it's about being there and taking part in the celebration.

IMO, you do what you can, when you can. Save up a little here and there when you can and give that to them as cash at the wedding in a card that says you'll have to give them a proper gift when you have the means. If he or his wife have a problem with that, then they don't deserve a gift and you've lost nothing.

JMO

Hope you at least enjoy the time down there!
__________________
Acronyms and Abbreviations
BillyZ is offline  
Old 04-14-2005, 04:03 PM   #7
Aquarium Advice FINatic
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Columbus Ohio USA
Posts: 1,182
Send a message via AIM to mitche8359
If I were your brother, I'd want you at my wedding regardless of gift or not.
__________________
Tom

55 gal fresh - planted 2wpg ~ Eheim eco filter ~ south american theme
java moss - misc anubia - amazon sword - Red rubin sword - tennellus chain swords
4 ottos, 1 pleco, 3 high fin white tetras, 3 Black Phantom Tetras, 1 high fin black tetra, 1 black tetra, 2 diamond tetras, 3 yoyos


Join the Ohio Regional Forum and share information with local enthusiasts
Vote for Aquarium Advice Today
mitche8359 is offline  
Old 04-14-2005, 04:13 PM   #8
AA Team Emeritus
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Bristol, Pa
Posts: 5,973
Send a message via AIM to lmw80 Send a message via MSN to lmw80 Send a message via Yahoo to lmw80
I just don't know! ugh!

thank you all for your wonderful advice!

The thing is that we are always helping them out - we spent a whole day helping them move apartments (they did not even offer their help when daniel and I moved into our house). Daniel built them a computer for cheap - and in fact the first time they saw our house (we have been there since november) is when they brought their computer over friday for daniel to fix because they downloaded a virus.

So, I guess that is the FULL story about why I am so torn on this whole thing considering the amount of $ for the plane tickets....
__________________
-Lori
Join the Eastern PA/Greater Philadelphia Forum! Click here: http://www.aquariumadvice.com/groupcp.php?g=7825

Aquariums are like jello - there's always room for more.
lmw80 is offline  
Old 04-14-2005, 04:55 PM   #9
AA Team Emeritus
 
Jchillin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: New York, NY (The Big Apple)
Posts: 14,953
LOL...I remember that story very well Lori and I thought about it immediately when I saw your post. I then threw it out in posting my reply. A wedding is a "family" event. It is the union of two families into one. A such a time, all differences must be pushed aside and solidarity must be shown. Put the past aside...think of something your brother and soon to be sister-in-law would need. Remember...it does not have to be extravagant...just right and suitable.

After the wedding and honeymoon...well...
__________________
_________________________________
Jchillin is offline  
Old 04-14-2005, 05:18 PM   #10
Aquarium Advice Addict
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: McKinney, Tx
Posts: 3,548
Send a message via AIM to lyquidphyre
You could bring a tag with your name on it... and put it on someone elses gift? j/p

I personally would probably not purchase a gift. Especially if its a larger wedding and lots of gifts are going to be purchased anyhow. And, if it is mentioned you can politely explain about the plane ticket, and how, as family, they should understand. My boyfriend Stephen didn't give his sister a wedding present (and he adores his sister) and he just said "I don't have a job right now and money is tight, I hope you understand" and she didn't care, she was just happy he and I came to the wedding
__________________

__________________

lyquidphyre is offline  
Closed Thread

Please support our sponsors and let them know you heard about them on AquariumAdvice.com

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Need advice a 2nd time-re: Aquarium Salt Biergott General Hardware/Equipment Discussion 8 08-20-2009 03:02 PM
New members of the family papa_bear_21 Freshwater & Brackish - General Discussion 3 07-13-2007 01:19 PM
New member of the family shawmutt Aquaria Off-Topic 12 06-11-2006 06:37 PM
Our little wet family . . . donttaptheglass Members Freshwater Tanks Showcase 2 03-04-2006 01:13 AM
2nd Tank Setup Advice cornfedfishies Freshwater & Brackish - General Discussion 5 01-27-2006 04:04 PM







» Photo Contest Winners








Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 05:15 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.