Lori, let me tell you a little story. (Another one!
)
Years ago, my kid brother went out with the *very* nice girl for years while in high school and college. Near the end of the last term, he dumps her! Had all kind of "reasons" to justify his action. A couple of weeks later, he shows up with one of his classmate!? They had spent all their college years in the same classes. He later announces they are getting married in a year! The thing is: this girl was/still is snotty and is nowhere near as nice his former GF. She was, how to say, very antipathic?
In any case, the wedding date came up, I got them one of those *very* fancy dishware set. Like 6 boxes of this stuff. Until then, I had no idea dishes could be so expensive! I was the bets man, the "chauffeur" and at the supper later, I was not even on the list of people to be part of the table of honour. (He's the only sibling I have). Her mom and her 5 sisters were there with their spouses, and my mother.
Nonetheless, during the supper, I get the waiter (Fancy/expensive hotel) to bring them their finest bottle of champagne. I almost past out when I got the bill. To this day, she never calls my mom or me, or my wife for that matter.
When my wife and I got married in 2000, everyone in her family was invited to the ceremony and supper. No one but her showed up, and she probably did because she had too.
All of this say what? To say that, like JC said, this is a special family gathering and protocols should/must be followed. Keep in mind that it is your brother that will be living with her, and if at least, she makes him happy and is good with him, then this should have priority.
That's how my family deals with my sister-in-law. My brother has been married for over 15 years now, and I have no indication that he is anywhere close to being unhappy with her.
For what it is worth, I hope you will see this through land make peace with yourself about this.
Best whishes.
8)
