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Old 07-08-2005, 05:32 PM   #11
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My first real kiss was at 11, everything else at 14 (including drugs/alcohol).

About 5th grade (my wife has some in 3rd) boys start to have trouble standing up in the classroom (nudge's as good as a wink to a blind bat), and then the boys start to take down their "boys only" signs and start to take an interest in girls.

If you or his father haven't had the sex talk yet, it's long overdue.

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Old 07-08-2005, 07:09 PM   #12
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Liking s is totally normal at 14. If you are open and talk there is less chance of going off and doing something stupid. The more he understands you and respects you the more likely he will be to listen and behave in a way to make you proud.

Boys do have hormones and things can go too far sometimes, so I believe they need to know how either to say, "No I am not ready" or be responsible for their actions, ie be prepared.

I agree with what Fishyfanatic says. Going out in groups is a good idea. It will probably be a while until he gets a steady friend anyway. Just don't panic. And make sure when you talk with him he doesn't feel like you are prying. It is a hard tight-rope to walk. I was painfully shy about talking to my parents about s and in hindsight, I think that was a bad thing.

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Old 07-11-2005, 12:01 AM   #13
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I agree with you FawnN. there are alot of girls going around with practically nothing on. There are a few girls in my grade that do that. those are the girls that are out doing the things that we, as minors, shouldn't be doing. My mother has faught with me and my sister's over low cut shirts.

Boys will be boys, atleast your son has good communication and can talk to you about stuff like that. don't freak out about him kissing girls, tell him that he needs to know when to stop, and to respect the girls.

My friends and I go out on group dates. it's not really dating because we are all just hanging out together.

anyhow, all the other stuff that was stated was very usefull. don't freak out about him kissing girls. dont send the "vibe" that you don't like the thought of it becuase he will start thinking that you arent cool with that. be open, tell him what he can and can't do. the way that my relationship wtih my mom is..i think that she would freak out if she found out that i have kissed a boy..bah oh well. i havent told her yet.

have fun and don't do anything stupid.
Old 07-11-2005, 12:18 AM   #14
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oh man, I went to the movies tonight and as a 21 y/o I think I have good fashion sense. I know when it is respectable to show a *little* more skin. For the movies I wore my capris and a t-shirt...that extended an inch past the waist of my pants.

Anyway, those girls under 16 are just asking for trouble. And so are their parents for letting them! I can't blame the kids so much as their parents for buying the clothing. They don't have to shop at stores that have a 6 inch piece of clothe designated as a $50 skirt!

About your son, I'm repeating the good advice already given by others for the sake of emphasis. Keep the communication open. Set guidelines that both you and your husband have already agreed upon. Get a nice entertainment center (doesn't have to be expensive) to put in your living room, or some other open area of the house that your boy can bring his friends to and hang out. And good luck! Take a deep breath. You will survive
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Old 07-11-2005, 05:25 AM   #15
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Fawn, I have a 14 year old daughter, and a 12 year old son (as well as some younger kids, but they don't pertain to this thread LOL)

Our rules are pretty basic. Dress modestly, waistbands can be no lower than 2 finger widths below your belly button, shirts must meet trouser waistbands and if it's underwear, it had better be completely UNDER clothing. As for "dating", it's group dates only, or a chaperone (mum or dad) comes. We have actually done this once, and it worked out ok. Yes, even my daughter said so. Phone calls are limited to one half hour phone call per day for my daughter, 15 minutes for my son (because he has several girls that call him) and are restricted to the hours of 8 am to 9 pm on school days, 9 am to 9 pm on weekends and holidays.
We have a very open door policy. Everyone is welcome in our home. We have a large open concept family room, and bought a combination pool/air hockey table for Christmas last year. I want to know where my kids are, what they are doing, and who they are doing it with. On a non-school night, it is not uncommon to find anywhere from one to six or seven kids sleeping over in my basement, and I know each and every one of them.

I guess my point in this ramble is this. Know your son. Keep that honest communication open. Know who is calling, know his friends. Keep your doors, your ears and your heart open.

Good luck

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Old 07-11-2005, 10:33 AM   #16
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Well, this weekend I found out the girl that likes him is only 12. He tells me they are just friends. On Sunday, he went to church with her and her parents.

When they are together, they are usually with a bunch of other kids, so I guess it's all good.

I did tell him that she is way too young and that he is just as young to have anything serious. I told him it's ok to hang out and talk, but nothing more. He assures me that is all they do.

My son is pretty shy when it comes to girls, but very outgoing with his guy friends. I trust him and he knows he can come to me with questions.

I can't help but be worried though.
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Old 07-11-2005, 10:56 AM   #17
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You're right to be worried. My son is 14, 5'9", and a girl magnet. So far he's not going after them. I do have talks with him about "s". My main point (among others) is that you can die these days. That may sound harsh, but it's that important IMO.

Otherwise, like others said, keep the communication open. Squirm all you need to, but talk to him honestly.

I feel for you(s) with young daughters. If I had one, I'd probably own a gun.

"Life may not be the party we hoped for but while we are here we might as well dance!"

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Old 07-11-2005, 03:16 PM   #18
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My concern is, she is the one pursing him and knowing how immature my son is, he doesn't see that she likes him more then a friend.

We had the sex talk when he was 12 and I was very open with him. Not by choice of course. He had actually asked when he was 11, how babies are made. He understood how they are made, but he didn't understand how point A got to point B. Yikes!

When he asked me that, I pictured the Simpson episode, when homer was descibing things.
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Old 07-11-2005, 03:22 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by FawnN
We had the sex talk when he was 12 and I was very open with him. Not by choice of course. He had actually asked when he was 11, how babies are made. He understood how they are made, but he didn't understand how point A got to point B. Yikes!
I knew the whole thing when I was 6.....made me so much more aware of how poorly and incorrectly informed my friends were....the stuff you hear from fellow male playmates! Too informed is far better than lacking anything, especially when it comes to pregnancy and STD risks...its often an uncofortable talk, but can save your child a lifetime of woe.
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Old 07-11-2005, 04:45 PM   #20
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I agree 100% with you Toirtis. I wish my parents were open with me as I am with my son. Sx was never to be spoken in our house and what I did learn was from my friends, and like you said, was all wrong!

I guess that's why I got pregnant at 19 and now I'm terrified history will repeat itself regardless of how well informed he is.

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