Over Protective Mom

[lando]

Keep those lines of communication open. Remember that the way you react to ANY info your son tells you will directly coorspond with his willingness to disclose info in the future. Set clearly defined boundries for your son's interaction with girls. Think into the future. He is only 14, if he wants to see a girl he must do it in the company of friends or family. Maybe 16 he can actually start to "date". I would be cautious of preventing or forbiding him to see girls, this will only force him to do it behind your back. Most importantly, become one of the "cool parents". When my wife was in high school her parents had a trampolene a pool table and a fridge full of pop. All of the kids wanted to hang out at her house. Granted, they lost some sleep because of the noise, but they would have just been up worrying about her if she was gone. I did not meet my wife until years later, but I know she appreciated the effort her parents put into creating a safe, comfortable and fun place for her friends. BTW, I know what you mean about the way girls dress these days. They did not look like that when I was in school. If I am ever blessed with a girl, the only thongs you will see on her will be on her feet, not sticking out of the back of her pants. (OMG, I have turned into my parents 8O )

 

[Toirtis]

.... the way girls dress these days. They did not look like that when I was in school.

Not when I was in school, either....I feel so cheated!

 

[talloulou]

My concern is, she is the one pursing him and knowing how immature my son is, he doesn't see that she likes him more then a friend.

Your son is probably alot less naive than you think he is. That being said though I do think girls mature faster and I think it is normal for girls to "chase" boys early on.

 

[Zagz]

I was 16 when I had my son and in addition to all that has been said here, I must add this advice.....do not tell him he can't see a particular girl or that he should stay away from a particular girl or ground him for seeing a girl. My parents did this when I was 15, first I ran away, then moved out then got pregnant. My boyfriend at the time was so much more appealing when he was forbidden. My son is now 21 and thank goodness, I'm not a grandma yet! Many open and frank discussions about girls, sex, safe sex and the reprucussions have made a difference, IMO. Forbidden fruit is the most appealing thing you can wave in front of someone!

 

[severum mama]

I was 11 when I had my first kiss 8O and dated all through high school. I think I was 15 the first time my mom offered me contraceptives... but you know what? I didn't take her up on it, all the way through high school. My parents (well, my dad pretty much left it up to my mom LOL) were very open and honest about sex and dating, and that I think paved the way for me to make good decisions about it. I waited until I was positive that I found someone worth doing it with, which was actually after college. Kind of embarrassing, but I was so terrified of getting pregnant and having to drop out of school that I knew the only 100% foolproof way was to just wait. My attitude toward partying was much less responsible, but that's a whole other story. I guess my point is to please, for your son's sake, keep being a cool mom. You may be surprised by the good choices he makes if he doesn't have to sneak around.

BTW I totally agree about the teen/preteen slutty outfit thing- what is up with that? 8O I just graduated in 1998 and kids didn't dress like that when I was in HS. I guess they all think they have to dress like Britney Spears or something, but look how she's ended up --- pregnant!!!