People not taking care of their fish - rant

[Chels10117]

Okay so this is a rant. Maybe some of you share the same issues.

Betta fish are so mistreated and are the most common "let's buy a fish on a whim" type of fish. I live the dorms in college and a lot of people have bettas in their rooms. I have two each in a 5 gallon with filters and all the right jazz. I have one friend who has hers in less than a half gallon and he's bloated. I think he's getting dropsy. Half of my friends kill their fish and wonder why they die. But one thing happend today that really pissed me off. My friend bought a Betta yesterday. I went with her. I tried to convince her to buy a bigger tank. A 5 gallon is cheaper and better for them I say. You can always get a filter later. (Because imo a 5 gallon with no filter is better than a tiny 1 gallon with a filter for a betta). Nope they get the one gallon. So they set it up. I stay out of it. The water level is way too low and the Betta hammock is like at the bottom of the tank. So I point those two tiny things out and I get a "it's fine". Today she messages me saying sorry if she sounded rude but they followed the directions and it's correct. I try to point it out one more time and we get into a big fight. I was nice about it. She's like it's not wrong and we didn't ask for your advice. Yells at me and says just because you've had one for awhile does not make you a guru. (Not to toot my own horn but I've owned fish for 5+ years and have done tons and tons of research... So yeah I like to think I'm a "guru" and 5+ years is longer than "awhile").

They probably didn't even aclamate their fish properly and are probably going to over feed him. They read the directions but you guys more than anyone know that directions on a box or advice from a pet store employee is not worth crap.

I know I can't save all the fish but I feel really bad.... It pisses me off that no one listens. What do I do? Do you guys deal with this?

I'm so done lol.

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[t4runnr]

I don't even try with friends. Unless they ask for help. And even when they ask for help, I will stop the moment they get defensive about what they were told before asking me. So at that point I tell them to google because google knows everything.

It sucks to see the fish suffer but there is nothing you can do about it if your offers of help/advice falls on deaf ears.

 

[Chels10117]

You're right. I even told her I'm not going to give any advice and to not ask for help. Because she was like if something was seriously wrong you'd be the first one we would come to. And now I'm not going to help. They lost my help with how they acted.

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[Stacey W.]

I understand one of my coworkers has a bluegill in a bowl. We even work at a vet clinic! You would think she would be more compassionate. But you know everyone says "it's just a fish".

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[Andy Sager]

Because she was like if something was seriously wrong you'd be the first one we would come to. And now I'm not going to help. They lost my help with how they acted.

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Okay, I get it. HOWEVER, if you are truly interested in trying to help others prevent the problems, you might want to answer "if something was seriously wrong you'd be the first one we would come to" with, "At that point, it will be too late. What I can do NOW is help you avoid any of the possible problems in the future. Here's how..." and go from there.
Bettas, unfortunately, are one of the most misunderstood and often fought over fish in the hobby. How we like to keep them is far from how they actually live. How we perceive they should be kept is far from the reality of how they are kept by the breeders who made them. So there are 2 schools of thought when it comes to keeping Bettas. One is more work than the other but neither is actually "wrong" . Explain both ways and leave the choice up to the owner.

That's if you truly are interested in trying to help a fellow fish keeper ( or someone who may become a larger scale fishkeeper. )


Hope this helps

 

[Chels10117]

Okay, I get it. HOWEVER, if you are truly interested in trying to help others prevent the problems, you might want to answer "if something was seriously wrong you'd be the first one we would come to" with, "At that point, it will be too late. What I can do NOW is help you avoid any of the possible problems in the future. Here's how..." and go from there.
Bettas, unfortunately, are one of the most misunderstood and often fought over fish in the hobby. How we like to keep them is far from how they actually live. How we perceive they should be kept is far from the reality of how they are kept by the breeders who made them. So there are 2 schools of thought when it comes to keeping Bettas. One is more work than the other but neither is actually "wrong" . Explain both ways and leave the choice up to the owner.

That's if you truly are interested in trying to help a fellow fish keeper ( or someone who may become a larger scale fishkeeper. )


Hope this helps

Yeah, but I don't want to help her if she's not willing to listen. If it was something serious I'd help for the fishes sake. Not hers. Also our conversation ended on a bad note. So I'm letting it settle for now.

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[brennae]

Yes well people don't listen. They never do. I have similar problems, even people on here who get 5 answers all the same don't listen. Do your best. When the fish dies you can choose to say "I told you so" or not. Maybe you should make betta care sheets up and hang them somewhere in the dorm. That way those who want help can take a sheet.

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[ImACoolguy]

Yes well people don't listen. They never do. I have similar problems, even people on here who get 5 answers all the same don't listen. Do your best. When the fish dies you can choose to say "I told you so" or not. Maybe you should make betta care sheets up and hang them somewhere in the dorm. That way those who want help can take a sheet.

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Search "fishbowl" on Instagram and you will see just how many people are so misinformed. Beyond that, like said above, people don't care. They say "it's just a fish". If that was a bunch of dead puppies at Walmart instead of bettas in cups there would be a riot.

I actually have a simple care sheet typed up with various sources I use for Instagram. Just sometimes it just falls on those deaf ears. People who can't take 2 minutes to research.


Caleb

 

[Chels10117]

Right. Still sad. Oh well I just won't take it to heart. Care sheets is a good idea though I like that. Can't save all the fish I guess. On a lighter note I found this funny picture on fb... Lol it reminded me of this.

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[sinibotia]

Oh I've been there, trust me. Even within the marine science program I'm in. True story: This summer during my internship I was asked to do a water change on a zebrafish tank using tap water. When I asked where the water conditioner was, they said, "Oh they don't need that."

Another story: A senior who just graduated gave my fellow fishkeeping friend a betta that was allegedly a female (turned out to be a male). This girl did her entire senior project on betta fish behavior yet couldn't tell the gender or be bothered to provide the fish more than a 1 gallon unfiltered unheated bowl.

My advice is to do as much as you can to help the people who are willing to listen and let it go for those who aren't. I've pushed a few people in my life really far in the right direction when it comes to fishkeeping- a former tutor student of mine has a beautiful 10 gallon with a trio of platys in her dorm room. I walked her through equipment, cycling and stocking after she inherited the tank from a family member. A labmate and neighbor in my apartment complex is up to his 4th fish tank, all of them pretty well stocked because he takes me with him every time he goes to choose fish. Both of them were dedicated to having happy fish and willing to listen to my experience to do things right. Unfortunately, people who don't care and people who think they know better aren't gonna listen anyway.

 

[coralbandit]

The care sheet left around for people to see is a great idea(the seed is planted regardless!).
Iwish we could all be Andy with his resolution /reasoning skills.
I would not say I told you so ever( I hope), but would have no problem explaining the difference in my success and their failure.
If you feel you are losing it just let go as those who fail either give up or do eventually seek help!
You can lead a keeper to water but you can't make them change it!

 

[RedDevil83]

I have a life long friend that has a betta in a bowl with a rock in the middle of the bowl, so all the betta can do is swim around in a circle, on top of that they smoke weed in the house with an open top on the bowl, I choose not to say anything to him, because I've known him for 17 years and he's smarter than that. Maybe just lazy... that's also a big issue is laziness.

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[ImACoolguy]

I have a life long friend that has a betta in a bowl with a rock in the middle of the bowl, so all the betta can do is swim around in a circle, on top of that they smoke weed in the house with an open top on the bowl, I choose not to say anything to him, because I've known him for 17 years and he's smarter than that. Maybe just lazy... that's also a big issue is laziness.

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I've had plenty look at me like I'm crazy when I say weekly water changes. They think of it like a chore and they only have like a 10g tank. Seriously, it takes max 20 minutes for a tank that size out of your entire week. Let's think about that


Caleb

 

[RedDevil83]

I've had plenty look at me like I'm crazy when I say weekly water changes. They think of it like a chore and they only have like a 10g tank. Seriously, it takes max 20 minutes for a tank that size out of your entire week. Let's think about that


Caleb

Makes sense, more fish less water means more wc.

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[Andy Sager]

Yeah, but I don't want to help her if she's not willing to listen. If it was something serious I'd help for the fishes sake. Not hers. Also our conversation ended on a bad note. So I'm letting it settle for now.

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My late Mother used to always tell me " It's not what you say but how you say it." I rejected that for quite a while until I realized she was right. Here's an example: " Gimme that!!!!" versus " Can I please have that." Which one do you think works better?
No, not everyone is going to listen but how YOU come across can have a big determination in the outcome.
I've been keeping fish as a hobby for now 50 years. I was in the fish business for over 40 of those years. I've probably seen or bred more Bettas in that time than most people here on this site will ever see or own. I KNOW Bettas in a jar is not WRONG. What it is is harder to maintain. But if someone is willing to take the time to do the work, who are you or I to say they are wrong for keeping them that way? I've been attacked on many Betta threads on here for my position on Bettas in jars but I understand where it is coming from. However, I know the difference between facts and opinions. If it's their opinion, that's fine and they are free to express it but when they say "HAS TO HAVE" or "MUST BE IN", that's no longer the facts and it's just a regurgitated telling of the biased opinion (FYI: The only thing thing a Betta MUST have is water. ) But just because you or someone else doesn't think it's right, doesn't make it wrong. If I can find the book ( The handbook of tropical fish), there is a picture of a Betta breeder' place in Tampa FL. ( The breeder's name was Tutweiler {may be misspelled}) It's along row shot of all the 1 gal jars he used to raise his bettas in. It's an amazing shot even in black & white. I've seen the hatcheries in Asia of my Betta suppliers and they all use jars to raise their Bettas. If this was so wrong, how come the fish came out so right? If you don't think so, there's a good chance that some of the fish today have a genetic lineage to the fish I kept back in the 1960s and there is no doubt that all the domesticated Betta splendens can be linked back to the fish that were collected over 300 years ago ( and kept in small containers.) But, is it worth the argument? I think NO. As I said in my previous post , this is one of the most fought over and misunderstood fishes in the hobby .

In your case, I may have said "That way has been tried and failed more than it succeeded while this way has a better track record of success." ( Not what you say but how you say it. ) The worst that would have happened would be nothing different but at least you offered the facts.
( And there are some people who will live and die only by the following quotation: "Don't bother me with the facts, my mind is made up." Not much you can for those people. )

To me, and this is just my opinion, any conversation about fish keeping that ends in an argument or spat, is nothing more than a lack of communication between the parties. Maybe that can still be fixed.


That's my rant about your rant. Hope it helps

 

[brennae]

The care sheet left around for people to see is a great idea(the seed is planted regardless!).
Iwish we could all be Andy with his resolution /reasoning skills.
I would not say I told you so ever( I hope), but would have no problem explaining the difference in my success and their failure.
If you feel you are losing it just let go as those who fail either give up or do eventually seek help!
You can lead a keeper to water but you can't make them change it!

I'm a jerk and I tell people "I told you so". LOL Can't help myself at times. Sometimes if I'm feeling nicer I say, "I tried to tell you that wasn't going to turn out well". All the breeders with the IBC jar their males. My membership has lapsed but I've seen pictures. Whatever your opinion on how much space a betta needs, its still a step up from the little cups they are sold in, which are usually very dirty and the fish aren't well cared for.

 

[brennae]

PS. Listen to Andy, he is the jedi master of bettas.

 

[RedDevil83]

Here is ignorance at its best.....https://youtu.be/3UQ7exU884A

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[brennae]

some person on a local forum for my area fed some kind of big fish with teeth a rat. Not sure of it was Piranha or what. People fish with mice that wear life jackets too.

 

[RedDevil83]

It's not even healthy for the fish, who knows what kind of disease or parasites the fish can get from that, I'm sure in the wild this happens but deliberately doing it is another thing.

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