I don't like to complain, but I'm making this post to vent some frustrations. Has anyone else had to tolerate poor habits from friends or family?
I try to give gentle advice but alas it often falls on deaf ears. If I get angry, it will only cause fights, and my boyfriend is fed up with me complaining about it.
My boyfriends father passed away when he was 13. His father kept a huge tank with Texas cichlids for a very long time. So, when I got a tank, his whole family felt the need to rekindle fish keeping, but with no knowledge or desire to learn.
His mom started with a ten gallon with five goldfish and a betta in a bowl. Needless to say, they died. She then set up a 55 gallon with gravel and huge sharp crystal things and one plant. My boyfriend and I cycled the tank, bought more decorations and plants and a heater, and stocked it with seven sunset wagtail platys. The only time the tank has been vacuumed or had the water changed was twice when we did it for her. It's been up for almost a year. The amount of waste was absolutely disgusting. She is well aware of what needs to be done, she just lies about doing it.
Next, his sister also started with three bettas in three separate bowls. Then she also decided she needed a 55 gallon, which she stocked with two koi and five goldfish. She throws out her filter media once a month when she changes the water. The fish got too big, so she dumped them in a local river. She then stocked with two Mollys and two bala sharks. We talked her into at least buying a heater. They got ich so she let them die. And then she restocked with another seven goldfish.
We gave his brother a 40 gal
that I didn't have room for. By some miracle he bought really nice lighting, and successfully did a fish in cycle with a good survival rate. But it's a bare bones glo fish setup with a filter rated for lower gallonage.
I try to give advice, but I get the same blank stares that you get from people who are totally uninterested. I can't stand it but I'm wary of starting a feud. I can't fix it for them I have three of my own tanks to take care of.
Sorry for the long rant. Anyone else have this problem?