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Old 11-30-2014, 01:19 AM   #1
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Putting up with bad fish keeping habits

Hi all,
I don't like to complain, but I'm making this post to vent some frustrations. Has anyone else had to tolerate poor habits from friends or family?
I try to give gentle advice but alas it often falls on deaf ears. If I get angry, it will only cause fights, and my boyfriend is fed up with me complaining about it.

My boyfriends father passed away when he was 13. His father kept a huge tank with Texas cichlids for a very long time. So, when I got a tank, his whole family felt the need to rekindle fish keeping, but with no knowledge or desire to learn.
His mom started with a ten gallon with five goldfish and a betta in a bowl. Needless to say, they died. She then set up a 55 gallon with gravel and huge sharp crystal things and one plant. My boyfriend and I cycled the tank, bought more decorations and plants and a heater, and stocked it with seven sunset wagtail platys. The only time the tank has been vacuumed or had the water changed was twice when we did it for her. It's been up for almost a year. The amount of waste was absolutely disgusting. She is well aware of what needs to be done, she just lies about doing it.
Next, his sister also started with three bettas in three separate bowls. Then she also decided she needed a 55 gallon, which she stocked with two koi and five goldfish. She throws out her filter media once a month when she changes the water. The fish got too big, so she dumped them in a local river. She then stocked with two Mollys and two bala sharks. We talked her into at least buying a heater. They got ich so she let them die. And then she restocked with another seven goldfish.
We gave his brother a 40 gal that I didn't have room for. By some miracle he bought really nice lighting, and successfully did a fish in cycle with a good survival rate. But it's a bare bones glo fish setup with a filter rated for lower gallonage.
I try to give advice, but I get the same blank stares that you get from people who are totally uninterested. I can't stand it but I'm wary of starting a feud. I can't fix it for them I have three of my own tanks to take care of.
Sorry for the long rant. Anyone else have this problem?
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Old 11-30-2014, 02:21 AM   #2
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Yes I had a staff at my boarding school who had a 15 and a 20 gallon in the front entrance she never did water changes and there was so much wast she relied on the filter and ones every month or two she would use a thing that she said was like petrifying the water but She never took out water just filtered the water and added more when it evaporated the 20 had two gold fish and some type of tetras and it it got fin-rot she treated it and thought it was good but still did not do a water change and they got it again i tried to give advice but she had to much pride to listen to me because I was 17 so of course all the fish died and she just left the tank there and I left a couple of months ago I would not be surprised if it is still sitting there and the 15 gallon she over stocked no water changes there ether I can't remember all the fish that wore in there they came and went but it did have some neon tetras and a Cory and get this a clown loch and a black ghost knife she got a Molly and some cat fish I'm not sure of the type and then the hole tank got ick only a couple of fish didn't get it and I told her to treat it she just kep putting it off and I kep telling her to she would say she is to busy and I thought in my head no good fish owner would put it off they would put the fish first she did not no what the heck she was doing


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Old 11-30-2014, 03:25 AM   #3
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I know how you guys feel.

One of my best friends keeps a 10 gallon with 2 platies and a common pleco. The stocking before she had 3 guppies and a molly. The stocking before that had 2 platies a guppy and a molly. Every stocking has succumbed to something that is easily treatable. She almost never does water changes or maintenance. Her tank is a bare bottom and every time I come over, she has atleast one pile of fish flakes on the floor of the tank.

The saddest part is that her pleco is going to get released into a pond when it outgrows or kills her platies. Then she is going to get another. Reason? She says it cleans her tank. If she didn't overfeed that wouldn't be a problem I told her, but I got the same blank stare after going over the science and maintenance requirements.

I really hope I eventually can mod a tank or build an indoor pond so I can rescue atleast one of her plecos or something :/
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Old 11-30-2014, 05:03 AM   #4
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Yes! Coworkers! Ugh! They know I'm a fish keeper, come to me with problems/questions then only half listen/implement my advice. Then have the stones to wonder why their betta died after 5 months. Another one puts her betta through a full cycle every month because she won't listen to me about water changes and not buying a new filter cartridge every month. Can't believe that poor guy is even still alive. So, the minute I try to correct these issues I'm viewed as crazy or an #%&hole. No guys, fish are not dogs.....there is some science you gotta learn. These are nurses btw! I feel you 100%!
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Old 11-30-2014, 10:43 AM   #5
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I will use myself as example here as I'm perfect for having gone into fish keeping 1,000% blind. I was fortunate enough to have a guy on here msg me over a period of a couple weeks just explaining to me about BB and what seems clean to me can and did kill several of my fish. I still don't understand the science of it but I know what the parimaters should be, what the safe zone is, I even know about where the PH should be for the fish I keep. I can not rattle this off the top of my head, I would have to look. I do check and know I'm in a great zone on both my tanks right now. I had to treat a tank for I can't recall the name but with help we concluded it started with a C. So I do understand your frustrations, I think the guy kept helping me because he knew I wanted to learn and know, I just was not catching on quick. So maybe it's possible some of the people your referring to, would like to know more. Maybe a suggestion would be to ask them, do you want me to teach you the basics and explain that there is a lot I science to it and it's not simply tossing fish in water. I know it's hard but the right time will come, use caution with your words so you don't offend these people, but throw the offer out there. Hopefully they take it, if not, try as much as you can not to bail them out when they get in a heap loaded mess. I do agree some of these people sound pretty moronic. That's just cruel to buy a fish to clean and then toss it in a pond. That IMO is no different than dog/cat abuse. Tell the girl to get the bristlenose max at 4" or the evil CA. Kudos for you, to take it in after she's done with it and ready to toss it.



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Old 11-30-2014, 11:22 AM   #6
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Hi Amy,
I have no qualms with people who are always willing to listen, learn, and correct mistakes-we all make them! My problem is with people who want a tank full of fish but couldn't care less about what needs to be done. These same people have cats and dogs which have never once been to a vet even when they are obviously hurt or sick so it's not just a fish issue but a pet issue in general. I wish you all the best!!
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Old 11-30-2014, 02:50 PM   #7
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Then I fully agree they should not own pets. I refuse to get my little girl a cat or dog because I know I cannot afford the bills that go along with it. They really need tending to simalar to having children, pets are children for many people I know. Please don't take what I said offensively. I was trying to hopfuly help and think maybe people couldn't be that crude. I'm thinking I'm wrong.


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Old 11-30-2014, 04:17 PM   #8
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No offense taken at all! I just didn't want you to think it was trying to insult those that are new to the hobby because we were all there at one point. I'm only mad at the people I know lol
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Old 11-30-2014, 10:03 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eggheadfish View Post
No offense taken at all! I just didn't want you to think it was trying to insult those that are new to the hobby because we were all there at one point. I'm only mad at the people I know lol

Hey Egghead, I'm good, I think were both concerned our words will be taken the wrong way here. Lol. I'm so greatful to have found this site and have had a few wonderful people who have gone far beyond what I expected to help me learn. I've been into the hobby about 9 months now and have barely gotten my toes wet on things to learn. I have learned a lot of NOT TO DO things though. . Love the site and have only come across 1 or 2 arrogant people. Thanks to all of you I am not scooping dead fish every morning like I was in the beginning.


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Old 11-30-2014, 10:30 PM   #10
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I hear you all on this, I had a neighbor who kept two guppies in a 1 or 1 and a half gallon tank with no filtration or water changes for two years. I didn't say much so I didn't start any arguments but when the fish finally passed they decided to not set it up again.
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