Seriously frustrating

[DragonFish71]

So why do you join a site that is for advice, then completely ignore the advice given or become rude when someone is giving advice from their own experiences?


Has anyone else been noticing these types of posts are becoming more frequent?


I have seen some where people were called "stocking police", of which I am now a badge carrying member, for advising that a person has too many fish in the tank.


And another where people were called "complainers" for advising against cycling with fish.


And yet another who wants shrimp but is unwilling to follow advice that the tank is too small to house what they have.


This post is to you, and you know who you are. When you joined this site, there was a posting about the ethical treatment of critters. You acknowledged that and joined anyways. You will get posts from time to time where we will be flaunting ethical treatment. There is no reason to get rude about it, the advice is there because YOU asked. Deal with it.


Now, let's carry on and have a wonderful day with our finned friends.

 

[Blueiz]

for this post.

Of course, ppl have a right to do with there tanks what they want to, however I stop giving the person advice when it becomes obvious that they already have in there own mind what they are going to do and aren't willing to take any advice that doesn't agree with there mindset.

I do find it amazing how time after time some are told that there overstocking conditions are causing fish deaths, yet they post up wanting to know why there fish are sick or dead and in turn blame it on something else.

And, I'm sorry, I don't bite the hand that feeds me so to speak. If you're here wanting ppl to help you the last thing that you want to do is be rude to them for doing so. That just says "I don't want to learn". Why should we waste our time trying to teach or give advise to someone that doesn't appreciate it.

Where do I go my badge?? LOL.

 

[DragonFish71]

*lol* I gave myself a badge. I had seen a post where two good responders were called "stocking police" so I claimed myself as one too since I agreed that the problems were stocking related.

 

[jestes]

As one of the new members here, I just want to say please don't stop offering advice! I know what you're talking about though. I've dealt with that on other forums, non fish related, and members like that don't stay members for very long.

I'm not new to aquariums, but I am new to the planted/lighting side of it. The members on here have steered me in a good direction so far, and I'm grateful for that.

 

[thincat]

Thanks for those thoughtful post. I get the so called end of the barrel every now and again. Some people just can't wait to post against those post and seem to only post on those types of comments. It hit's me like a grain of salt and I also refuse to make a comment to that poster because that is what he/she is waiting for. You guys are correct, we don't get paid for our Knowledge and time. We do it for the love of the hobby and that says it all!

 

[Zagz]

Sometimes despite our best intentions, others ignore us or consider us abrasive when we are just trying to help. All we can do is shrug it off and know that we are doing our best for our finned friends that we can.

It is people like you all that make this site the best on the net!

 

[melosu58]

I would not take it so personal. When it comes to giving advice all you can do is offer your advice and experience and then it`s on them if they use it or not. You cant make them use it but you can give your advice and experience to them and do the best you can do when you do give it to them. When someone ask a question then everyone has the opportunity to post. Whether they like the answer or not. They can just filter out what they want to accept and go from there. No rudeness will be tolerated at this site.

 

[cabezon]

it's pretty much typical for any forum I've frequented. it wasn't the OP that came in with the accusations of "_________ police" theres always that person that gets their feathers ruffled by something.

I will say however that that the OP was conscientious enough to come here to look for more information, and the response was a bit heavy handed. I am almost afraid to post my stocking list. no pacus or tin foils. I am not going to play the mediator role. but my $.02

 

[Etunes]

I don't get why people do it. If you come for advice then your gonna get it, no matter how bad you were doing. Just push through it and fess up. First you have to admit you made a mistake to fix it.

 

[dkpate]

+1 for this post. I am fairly new and I MUCH appreciate the help I have gotten on this site! The "Stocking Police" that have been mentioned have been VERY helpful to me, and I will listen to whatever they have to say!
I am also on another site, and a kid had gotten a puffer fish, and when I told him that it would eventually need more and more salt, he was alright about it. Then he went and bought another one, which is fine. THEN 6 days ago, he comes on and says "Ok, I also bought an oscar to go with my puffers." I told him they can't stay together, he told me they got along, and then was posting on other posts that they were compatible. AGGH! And THEN he comes on 3 days ago and says that he took the oscar out and put him in a new tank like we suggested, but he got a balloon molly to put in with the puffers! After I told him that the puffers might possibly kill the molly, he deleted me as his friend and said "Just tell me how to get them to eat." Wow.....Anyway, sorry for ranting.
Like I said before, I appreciate the help A LOT. Keep it coming!

 

[DragonFish71]

I'm not taking it personal at all. But I don't like seeing people that are trying to help others being "talked to" like what I've seen. Like you all, I'm here to pass on what I know to hopefully help another. I have gotten to the point though where if I see someone responding rudely to a poster I won't give advice. (Well, unless I'm feeling snarky at the moment ) I know that not sharing advice is probably not the best way to handle it, but it seems if they're giving someone else a rude reply, then they really didn't want the advice. Just my .02 cents.


I just felt compelled to write this post. I wasn't out to offend anyone, I was more hoping that those that do respond rudely would read this and maybe get a bit of a clue.

 

[dkpate]

+1. I am glad you said something!
I have also gotten e-mails from people, about other people responding to their posts in a rude way, which make them feel like idiots, when we have all been there at some point! That aspect has been better lately though.

 

[cabezon]

well, if you want people to take your advice, tell them only what they want to hear.

 

[mfdrookie516]

hey deputy dragon...

lol im in the same boat as you. I guess really we are all pretty sure in our beliefs though. Just like I am totally against cycling with fish, others arent. Im trying to be more open to others ideas. I was called "the stocking police" in that thread a while back and I actually took it as a compliment. It does really burn me up when somebody asks for advice, then says they arent going to do it, this is how its going to be done, fix it... I know when i need advice, i listen to what those who are trying to help have to say, and try my best to make it happen...

 

[Janet H]

If you believe that a post is inappropriate please remember to report it by clicking the tiny triangle to the left of the post and site staff can take a look.... We expect members to be polite but problem is that everyone's idea of 'polite' is a little different.