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Old 08-21-2013, 02:11 AM   #1
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Spouse dislikes choice in hobbies

How many others out there have a spouse, significant other or loved one who dislikes the aquatic hobby?

I ask this because my wife dislikes the amount of time I spend on my daughters tank. My daughter helps out with cleaning and feeding.

I got a new tank today (15 dollars of Craigslist) and now my wife isn't too happy. She claims we have no where to put it let alone the time to spend on it, all of which I have all ready out into consideration and had decided to not put it up for a few months on a count of we are due to have a baby girl here in October. So planning and preparing for that won't allow time to maintain another tank. How have others dealt with these issues and made things work? Would love to hear some stories.

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Old 08-21-2013, 02:21 AM   #2
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My wife is going to have our first child in 2 weeks. She has never had a problem with this hobby because at least I'm not sitting on my computer like I used to. Maybe try explaining to your wife that its your way of relaxing and at least your not an alcoholic or drug addict.

I have 5 tanks in my lounge room and a pretty big breeding setup at my father in laws house so I would say I have more then most. She is pretty cool with everything and has also got into it herself.

Whenever I say I'm buying a fish or tank or anything she always gets excited now.

Just give her a while she should come around.

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Old 08-21-2013, 03:14 AM   #3
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My husband doesn't dislike it but he doesn't understand it at all. He just doesn't get the whole fish thing. He has never even fed them and doesn't even know how! There was a very brief moment where he was interested in a marine setup but that only lasted a few hours. Lol. I can see his eyes glaze over every time I start taking about my tanks. He puts up with it because he knows I love it.
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Old 08-21-2013, 07:40 AM   #4
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Originally Posted by Mumma.of.two View Post
"...eyes glaze over every time I start taking about my tanks"...
My wife closes her eyes and pretends to snore.

She puts up with it because she knows I am into it and it makes me happy. She'd prefer me staring at my tanks and spending time on fish forums rather than going out bar hopping.
But just like anything else, keeps things in balance. Make time for her as well. Also, find ways to minimize tank maintenance time if possible. Good luck.
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Old 08-21-2013, 12:57 PM   #5
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My wife has been tolerant, while voicing how she dislikes it, up till now. Getting another tank was too much I guess. I'm hoping I can get her turned around in her ways. If not i might just set up the new tank in the garage.
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Old 08-21-2013, 02:50 PM   #6
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My parents dont get it either. I have a 55 gallon cichild and a 30, hopefully to be a 75 later. They think that my weekly water changes are a waste of time.
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Old 08-22-2013, 06:17 AM   #7
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My husband is not a big fan of my fish. Seems like he likes the setup and that's about it. After that it's all up to me, he supports it though. I tell him he has 5 cats and between my two tanks I have 6 fish, and at least my fish stay in a small spot and not run the house all day and night. My husband knows it makes me happy so he don't complain to much.
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Old 08-22-2013, 11:35 AM   #8
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It's good to see that everyone has support for the hobby. My wife supports to an extent. She dislikes WCs and my QT. I don't have an actual tank for QT so I use a bucket which creates clutter for a few weeks. I tried to eliminate the bucket and have a 1 gal. For QT, but like I said at the beginning if this tread, getting another tank threw her out of wack lol.
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Old 08-22-2013, 01:34 PM   #9
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My husband is totally supportive, he used to have tanks & now he has 14 tortoises , so we kinda enable each other! He knows the more fish & tanks I have then the more torts he can get. But, I m stopping at 3......no, really.
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Old 08-22-2013, 01:51 PM   #10
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What the Mrs. doesn't understand yet is that fish keeping can be and is extremely educational. You have to learn biology, chemistry and environmental sciences in order to keep a tank well maintained ( and math if you mix too many male and female fish together ;D.) In fact, if the tank is kept properly, you shouldn't have to spend much time on it. My 6 tanks and 2 betta bowls don't take me more than an hour each week to maintain. My favorite saying is " The less you mess, the greater the success!" That means do it right the first time and you will have better success and less cost.
There is another positive to fish keeping at an earlier age. In my case, I started when I was 7 years old. That love of fish blossomed into a 40 year career in the fish business. That entailed travels abroad, (which expanded my understanding of other cultures) understanding genetics,( I became a fish breeder for most of my career), and becoming an environmentalist ( By understanding where the fish came from and visiting those areas, I was better able to recreate those habitats in my tanks as well as encourage others to be more environmentally friendly in their lives, which we all know is the key to our own survival as a specie) as well as a financial reward.
When I got married, my fish were just part of the package ( along with my Monkeys ) My wife didn't know a thing about them, didn't want anything to do with the care and upkeep of them, but sure liked the results I got from them. And of course, when I gave her books to pick out fish she would like me to have in the house, her tastes were well over our financial means ( and the pictures didn't come with price tags, she just liked the rare and distant stuff. lol) Although we are now divorced, in a recent conversation with her, she admitted that she missed having a tank in the house. Fish do rub off on people
Hope this helps

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