My wife dislikes most of my hobbies, especially the fish tanks. She just doesnt see the point. She gets upset and tells me that I have a serious problem with being unappreciative...that Im too materialistic. Her argument is, I spend money buying things for the tanks, but Im always looking at it and discussing that I need this or need that....like Im never happy with what I have. I told her that I am perfectly happy with what I have, but upgrading and redecorating are all a part of the hobby. If I bought a tank, set it up and never touched it again, it wouldnt be a hobby would it? It would just be another piece of furniture in the corner of the room. She thinks I can never be happy. Im telling you I dont have a problem with happiness...I just love my hobbies. I will always need that bigger tank or that nicer fish or that better filter. If I think about adding a new rock to the tank I might say something like, "I need a new rock". My wife takes "need" literally and thinks that I am just unhappy with my life unless I do what ever it takes to get that rock. She gets upset that I never finish anything. All of my hobbies get started but never finished. Can someone tell me just what a hobby is please? If I were finished getting all the equipment I wanted or "needed" for my guitar hobby, it wouldnt be a hobby anymore. If I had everything I wanted or "needed" for my photography hobby it wouldnt be a hobby anymore. Set these all on the shelf next to the other things that I never seem to be happy with, like my car, motorcycles, computer, fish, etc. etc. All of this comes from a woman who has no hobbies what so ever. Now, if you ask her, she will say something to the effect that she doesnt have time or money to spend on her hobbies because she feels its more important to live her life trying to make me happy and allow me to have my own hobbies.
I dont understand how wanting to have a hobby means that you dont want to be with your family and just need some escape from them. She takes this whole hobby thing very personal and it bothers me to a great degree, but for the most part, she lives with it and is getting better over time. She ocassionally will come with me to the pet stores and look at fish stuff. She even got me a gift card at Petsmart for Valentines day. Now that I truly admire and think was a great gift. She was totally thinking of me when she did that. I think she may be beginning to understand that there is a passion in having a hobby. It isnt wrong to want things. She'll get there....I just need to keep working on her and try to find things that spark an interest in her, although that has proven to be extremely difficult to do.
I love this woman and our life is wonderful. I would give up everything I have if it meant I couldnt be with her. But god, please, bring this woman a deep interest in something and help her understand that its ok to have hobbies.
