Go Back   Aquarium Advice - Aquarium Forum Community > Community Forum > Aquaria Off-Topic
Click Here to Login

Join Aquarium Advice Today
Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Please support our sponsors and let them know you heard about them on AquariumAdvice.com
 
Old 02-24-2005, 05:45 PM   #21
Aquarium Advice Addict
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Northern VA
Posts: 3,005
I think the "tolerating" is just a mask. I can tell my guy really likes them... well I guess I knew for sure when he said he wanted a salt water tank, he just wanted me to take care of it... somehow we got gerbils instead
__________________

__________________
rubysoho is offline  
Old 02-24-2005, 05:52 PM   #22
Aquarium Advice Addict
 
lando's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Savage, MN
Posts: 7,889
I guess the tell-tale sign is that my wife does not get mad when I buy anew addition for the tank. This, however, is not the case with some other things
__________________

__________________
Some people are like slinkies...they serve no real purpose yet can still bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs!:p
Have a great day! Brian
lando is offline  
Old 02-24-2005, 07:26 PM   #23
Aquarium Advice FINatic
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Columbus Ohio USA
Posts: 1,182
Send a message via AIM to mitche8359
Does your wife go with you to the LFS? My wife will and they like looking at the fish and usually walk out with at least one of their own which is where the problem is. The 55 g is not overpopulated, but most of the fish in the tank are 'theirs.'
__________________
Tom

55 gal fresh - planted 2wpg ~ Eheim eco filter ~ south american theme
java moss - misc anubia - amazon sword - Red rubin sword - tennellus chain swords
4 ottos, 1 pleco, 3 high fin white tetras, 3 Black Phantom Tetras, 1 high fin black tetra, 1 black tetra, 2 diamond tetras, 3 yoyos


Join the Ohio Regional Forum and share information with local enthusiasts
Vote for Aquarium Advice Today
mitche8359 is offline  
Old 02-25-2005, 01:09 AM   #24
Aquarium Advice FINatic
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Toano, Virginia!
Posts: 716
My wife dislikes most of my hobbies, especially the fish tanks. She just doesnt see the point. She gets upset and tells me that I have a serious problem with being unappreciative...that Im too materialistic. Her argument is, I spend money buying things for the tanks, but Im always looking at it and discussing that I need this or need that....like Im never happy with what I have. I told her that I am perfectly happy with what I have, but upgrading and redecorating are all a part of the hobby. If I bought a tank, set it up and never touched it again, it wouldnt be a hobby would it? It would just be another piece of furniture in the corner of the room. She thinks I can never be happy. Im telling you I dont have a problem with happiness...I just love my hobbies. I will always need that bigger tank or that nicer fish or that better filter. If I think about adding a new rock to the tank I might say something like, "I need a new rock". My wife takes "need" literally and thinks that I am just unhappy with my life unless I do what ever it takes to get that rock. She gets upset that I never finish anything. All of my hobbies get started but never finished. Can someone tell me just what a hobby is please? If I were finished getting all the equipment I wanted or "needed" for my guitar hobby, it wouldnt be a hobby anymore. If I had everything I wanted or "needed" for my photography hobby it wouldnt be a hobby anymore. Set these all on the shelf next to the other things that I never seem to be happy with, like my car, motorcycles, computer, fish, etc. etc. All of this comes from a woman who has no hobbies what so ever. Now, if you ask her, she will say something to the effect that she doesnt have time or money to spend on her hobbies because she feels its more important to live her life trying to make me happy and allow me to have my own hobbies. I dont understand how wanting to have a hobby means that you dont want to be with your family and just need some escape from them. She takes this whole hobby thing very personal and it bothers me to a great degree, but for the most part, she lives with it and is getting better over time. She ocassionally will come with me to the pet stores and look at fish stuff. She even got me a gift card at Petsmart for Valentines day. Now that I truly admire and think was a great gift. She was totally thinking of me when she did that. I think she may be beginning to understand that there is a passion in having a hobby. It isnt wrong to want things. She'll get there....I just need to keep working on her and try to find things that spark an interest in her, although that has proven to be extremely difficult to do.

I love this woman and our life is wonderful. I would give up everything I have if it meant I couldnt be with her. But god, please, bring this woman a deep interest in something and help her understand that its ok to have hobbies.
__________________
I almost dated a psychic.....


She left me before we met.
youronlysin is offline  
Old 02-25-2005, 08:32 AM   #25
Aquarium Advice FINatic
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Columbus Ohio USA
Posts: 1,182
Send a message via AIM to mitche8359
Quote:
Originally Posted by youronlysin
Can someone tell me just what a hobby is please?

If I think about adding a new rock to the tank I might say something like, "I need a new rock". My wife takes "need" literally and thinks that I am just unhappy with my life unless I do what ever it takes to get that rock.
first off, I looked up hobby for you...
An activity or interest pursued outside one's regular occupation and engaged in primarily for pleasure

perhaps you could express a little more happiness when you tell your wife that you need something else for the tank? Something along the lines of "I'm so happy that the tank needs a new rock..." should work real well.

My wife used to be the same way, not really having any hobbies, but she got into crafts and the like and now is making handmade greeting type cards. Part of the laundry room redesign includes a craft area...
__________________
Tom

55 gal fresh - planted 2wpg ~ Eheim eco filter ~ south american theme
java moss - misc anubia - amazon sword - Red rubin sword - tennellus chain swords
4 ottos, 1 pleco, 3 high fin white tetras, 3 Black Phantom Tetras, 1 high fin black tetra, 1 black tetra, 2 diamond tetras, 3 yoyos


Join the Ohio Regional Forum and share information with local enthusiasts
Vote for Aquarium Advice Today
mitche8359 is offline  
Old 02-26-2005, 07:11 AM   #26
Aquarium Advice FINatic
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Toano, Virginia!
Posts: 716
Huh. Thats really a great idea. I dont know why I never thought of that before. Maybe I should back off a little bit and pretend to not be so serious about it and show her that I really am happy and enjoy what I have. Its all too simple, Watson.
__________________
I almost dated a psychic.....


She left me before we met.
youronlysin is offline  
Old 02-26-2005, 11:04 AM   #27
Aquarium Advice FINatic
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Columbus Ohio USA
Posts: 1,182
Send a message via AIM to mitche8359
Been meaning to ask you if you sig line is from Steven Wright? Sounds like his type of humor.
__________________
Tom

55 gal fresh - planted 2wpg ~ Eheim eco filter ~ south american theme
java moss - misc anubia - amazon sword - Red rubin sword - tennellus chain swords
4 ottos, 1 pleco, 3 high fin white tetras, 3 Black Phantom Tetras, 1 high fin black tetra, 1 black tetra, 2 diamond tetras, 3 yoyos


Join the Ohio Regional Forum and share information with local enthusiasts
Vote for Aquarium Advice Today
mitche8359 is offline  
Old 02-26-2005, 11:32 PM   #28
Aquarium Advice Addict
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Washington
Posts: 4,168
Quote:
Originally Posted by youronlysin
please, bring this woman a deep interest in something and help her understand that its ok to have hobbies.
My husband and I have very little in common in the way of "hobby" activities. And until recently I didn't have a hobby of my own. I always take an interest in something and that interest usually fizzles out fairly quickly. especially in the beginning of our relationship, I am a bit ashamed to say, that I was a little bit envious of my husbands hobby. Not because it took time away from us, but because nothing held my interest long enough for me to excel at it. It was hard to watch him get excited about something other than our relationship, something that didn't have anything at all to do with me. I eventually got over it, and now I have my fish, and he still has his music, and we are thinking about doing something together that neither of us has any experience with. Should be interesting in the very least
__________________
Meredith is offline  
Old 02-26-2005, 11:59 PM   #29
AA Team Emeritus
 
Jchillin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: New York, NY (The Big Apple)
Posts: 14,953
Well, I do have to amend some of my previous thoughts. My wife has finally admitted to me that she understands the hobby and will not engage in anything negative in regard to it in the future.

I do admit, some of the "things" we do in this hobby can be misconstrued as "obsessive complusive behavior". Taking pics of our tanks and inhabitants is one of them. Think about it...what they see is us taking hundreds of pictures. We don't take that many pictures of our families. They have no idea that 99% of the pictures are unusable and we delete them.

Well, here's to understanding and tolerance.
__________________

__________________
_________________________________
Jchillin is offline  
Closed Thread

Please support our sponsors and let them know you heard about them on AquariumAdvice.com

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Support Group for Spouses/Family of Fish Geeks Ziggy953's_Wife Aquaria Off-Topic 8 01-29-2009 05:37 PM







» Photo Contest Winners








Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:58 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.