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Old 06-08-2004, 11:53 PM   #1
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the almost never ending story.

i will post the whole story after a period of 2 months. if the story has not been ended by then i will extend it another month. but i plan to have this done pretty soon. no rush though.

also every time i see someone else has added some more ill put it down here .

*editted by Menagerie: The story is up to date as of July 17th*

Once upon a time, there was a cat named dog who owned a 150 gal aquarium that contained one lonely fish and it was the most prettiest fish in the world, nice and big and colorful. It was a happy fish until one day, the cat who owned it got hungry and tried to eat it but the problem was that this fish was too big to swallow, it had the face of a clown, the body of a naso tang, and fins like a betta. It's offfical name was a Bellerophon, a name fit for a fish that is too big to swallow! Since the cat couldn't eat the Bellerophon it decide that it would just lick it for a while. But when it went to lick the fish, it jumped out of his paws and ran across the ground with it's little tiny legs. It's destination was the toliet. He heard somewhere that all drains lead to the ocean. But before he could get to the bathroom he slipped and fell down the stairs into a cage full of cats, but the Bellerophon was not afraid. He faught them off until one cat came behind him and hit him in the head and he was knocked uncontious. Then "rabbit", owner of "Dog" the owner of the cats rescued the Bellerophon and put him in a tank. A couple days later Bellerophon, whose name was appropriatly "spot", woke up from his little fish coma to realize the tank was a mere 5 gals, there was no room to swim, no room to turn. Claustrophobia was setting in. In desperation Spot managed to arrange the multi colored gravel to say "Help me". But instead of his owner (the cat named Dog) seeing his msg Dog laughed wickedly and went for the net, but the doorbell rang. It was a wal-mart employee wanting to take his fish to thier store, shove it in a lil cup and set it on the shelf with out water changes till someone buys it and then the dyslexic neighbor who came to see what the fuss was about said the fish was trying to spell "empleh," which is Aramaic for dirty laundry! What did he meen by that they all wondered. Anyway the 17 year old, red faced, greasy haired, brace face employee from Wal-mart suddenly remembered he had dirty laundry that needed to be done and disregarded the msg left by Spot and hurried home. Meanwhile the dyslexic neighbor exclaimed, "But fish don't wear clothes!! Oh! maybe he wants dirty laundry since he's so bored in that tiny tank." The neighbor runs into Dog's bedroom to get ...the mending, which was piling up, and thought those feelers might make nice darning needles, but when he dumped the mending into the tank it turned a vivid green color What a pretty color the neighbor exclaimed! Meanwhile, in all the commotion, Spot found his true love. he saw a female Bellerophon being held captive my the evil emperor moose. He jumped out the window and landed in the pool. Immediatley, Spot felt ill, he was fading fast when he heard a scream from his true love. he sucked it in and tried to get out of the pool before the chlorine killed him but quickly discovered the home owner was not the type to properly maintain the chlorine levels in his pool once Spot realized he was just cold, he pulled himself together and made a mad dash to the top , then Dog came running in after him with a net and drowned his sorrows with a bottle of whiskey and started telling Spot about the good ole days when he used to date a beautiful cat from the next town over. Oh how Dog missed her, but alas they finally got reunited and had an offpring of thier own named catdog and it was one ugly baby!!! Spot didn't understand how any of this related to him, but decided not to question it. Spot still needed to find his true love. Where was she by the way? Still in the pool, sipping on a Pina Colatta and putting sunscreen on her dorsal, Spot decided it was time to brush up on his best imitation of Frankie Avalon in Beach Blanket Bingo to woo his one true (Annette Funicella look alike) love, so he grabbed a floaty and a wet suit (she may be his true love, but that water was COLD!) and headed over to the cabana next to the pool where a strange young cabana boy named Enrique offered him this little bit of advice to really impress her you have to do a really cool dive off the diving board, so Spot wondered where this was all headed since he didn't have any legs and his little betta fins were feeling weak. He headed over to the diving board with thoughts of love and glory. just then he slipped and went headfirst into the empty pool that had been drained to fix a leak. Then he suddenly awoke from his fishy dream to discover that he really was just an ordinary goldfish in a little round bowl, but he realized that there was a pretty lil goldfish swimming next to him. Like right on top of him. He really wanted some elbow room, but the bowl was cramped and the cat was always watching from one side, so he and his tank mates stayed on one side. Elmira, the fish keeper walked in with declor and net in hand about to clean the goldfish bowls like a good fish keeper should. Spot realized this was his chance to spin the bottle. He always wanted to play that game so with a twist of his wrist the bottle began to spin, faster and faster, and faster until Spot realized two things: One, fish don't have wrists and Two the bottle broke and both sides were facing him. *sigh* things just weren't going well for Spot. Suddenly, he was lifted from the tank as Elmira exclaimed "Oh no! Broken glass!! How did that get in there? Oh, I know.. I bet my daughter was playing with my perfumes again!”Elmira shouts, "Hilda hop your one legged, eye patched, neatly trimmed beard butt in here and bring a couple of Hostess(c) fruit pies with you. And by the way, don't forget the crab rangoon. And you had better have a good explanation as to why one of my broken perfume bottles is in the fish tank and don't try to blame it on the fish." Hilda hopped in and looked at the broken glass her mom was holding and said, "My imaginary friend did it. He wanted to make the icky smell go away” "Hilda, what icky smell, I don't smell anything icky?!?!?" Hilda replied, “Well, if you would take the clothsepin off your nose you would be able to smell it” With that Hilda's mom took off the clothes pin and fainted. This caused a series of events to occur, Spot went flying across the room, Hilda quickly grabbed hold of his tail and went flying too. Unfortunately the tail was fake because he lost his tail so it fell off. Then Elmira came to and realized that smell was gross aquarium water that hadn't been changed in ages! She realized the tail wasn't fake, just had a bad case of fin rot. She proceeded to set up the quarantine tank with built in playstation 2 (oh did spot love Vice City!). Then she realized that she was out of money...how was she going to finish setting up the qt tank? she wondered. Sell her beloved perfume collection?!? Then Hilda came over and asked, “How do I get off this merry-go-round?” Thoughtfully, Elmira said, "Honey, go lie down, you bonked your head on the wall. I need to clean up in here and * brrrrrrrrring! brrrrring! (telephone rings)* if it's not one thing, it's another!" She picks up the phone to hear farting noises and the refrigerator joke. she slams the phone and then goes to do her buisness in the bathroom. When she returns, she realizes there is a lot to do and poor Spot landed in the cat's water bowl! But now a new dilema for Spot has developed, the cat (named Oscar) is eyeballing spot in "his" bowl and Oscar is hungry. So Oscar starts the :feline creep" towards the bowl "Oscar!!" yelled Hilda, "Get away from poor Spot, he's had a rough day!!" With that, Oscar eye balled the distance between the water ball and Hilda and leapt. He was going going. aww he ran into the tree that fell when Hilda missed Oscar with the broom and knocked over the ficus tree. Not only was Spot having a bad day, but Hilda's day was getting worse by the minute and she had to get to work in an hour! Working the night shift was rough. She decided to leave the ficus tree for Elmira to clean up and started setting up the QT tank. Spot was starting to fade when Hilda realized he was still in the cat's dish! She placed Spot in the QT tank and realized she forgot to put any water in it. When she put Spot in the QT tank with no water, Spot realized he could breathe air and he also realized he wasn't a fish but a person. He sprouted legs and walked out of the tank. He grew and shrunk depending on the size of the person he thought he was. That sight made Hilda faint. But one thing bothered Spot, he was cold so he grew hair and became a dog and then he went after Oscar, who had been in total disbelief at everything he had seen this day. He swore up and down that he would quit drinking and never again would he stay in this strange household, Oscar bolted for the door to escape the madness when he felt his tail getting yanked on by Elmira “Wake up you stupid cat! I wonder what YOU were dreaming about???" Oscar blinked his eyes a few times, got up and walked nonchalantly to the food dish. "Dreaming about???" he thought, that was no dream, that was a nightmare. He had to cut back on the sardine snacks before napping. Before he started eating out of his food dish he noticed a fishy imprint, this made him freak out. He ran through the house only to find Spot and the other fish swimming aimlessly in the tank. He went back to his food dish and realized how much he smelled. He needed a bath! So he sprint back to the aquarium and went to jump in when Elmira grabbed him. Elmira then exclaimed, "Oscar, you DO smell!!" Well lets give you a bath. As Elmira runs the bath water Oscar jumps out and scratches her in the face. Then she gives him ..."the boot" and Oscar landed in the middle of the tub--where he belonged. As Oscar sat there sopping wet, he thought, "I'll get you my pretty and ur little fish too!" Just then, Oscar let out a yawl as the water covered him up and he was all soapy. He looked into Elmira's eyes and a gave her a silent meow. It was a pitiful sight, yet Elmira couldn't help laughing as she dried Oscar with a towel. But Oscar was silently hatching a plan, a devious most dastardly plan. He was going wait until it got dark and everyone was asleep and he was going to run away! He was tired of Elmira, he was tired of the stupid fish. He wanted to go someplace where he could rule over people and they'd bow down to him. So he started a religion that put himself as patriarch of all other forms of life. Followers flocked from all over in order to give him catnip and pet him and feed him minced mice. Now he had to figure out how to get out of the house. He knew where they kept the spare house key. His only problem was that being a cat it was hard to manipulate a key with a paw, so he thought of something else. He remembered a MacGyver episode where he escaped with gum and a toothpick. Now if only he could remember. Oscar was also wondering if he would have to chew the gum or if it could be used plain. "Why don't cats have good long-term memories," he thought. So, he sat down in front of the TV and dozed off for a few while watching The Real World(c) on MTV(tm). Suddenly he was awakened by the sound of sirens and the swat team busted down the door. he woke up with a start! It wasn't the swat team, it was the 4 yr old's play group!! The sirens faded off in the distance and he went to find a place to hid. Meanwhile, all the play group sat down and feasted on Pepridge farms goldfish. This made Oscar MAD!! Oscar felt they were mocking him--he couldn't have fish, why could the 4 year olds have fish?!?!? He could see them from his hiding spot in the middle of the floor. Oscar wasn't the brightest crayon in the box.. he liked to think he was invisible. Unfortunately the group of germs on wheels spotted him and made a mad dash for him yelling "KITTY, KITTY, KITTY" at the top of their lungs. Oscar slouched down as though he was a wild cat in the jungle and the pack of wild dogs would run past him unaware that he was there. Thinking he was invisible, he just sat there not moving. He realized after the first 4 year old pounced on him that, he is not the brightest crayon in the box. He mamaged to "slip" from the deadly choke hold the kid had on him only to find himself having his tail yanked by another. He let out a pitiful YOWL, he bit the kid and ran away. Then he found himself in the middle of a heap of trouble!! Hilda came running when she heard the commotion, the 4 year old that had been bitten was starting to swell up like an allergic reaction so they were not too sure what to do and called the parents. The parents were surprised by the fact their daughter was bitten by a cat. They said she was a brat when it came to animals and the best way to cure the swelling was to "Put ice on the wound and let her suck on a piece of ice to quit her down. Oh and she will need a band aid!" Seeing the band aids come out of the closet caused quite a commotion and all of the kids were pointing out where the cat "scratched" them and how they needed a Bandaid, or they might perish. The young girl's parent's were still on the phone and could be heard saying, "you have to kiss the bite or it will never heal completely. But make sure she doesn’t scratch you because she has bacteria growing in her nails that will make you sick." This was enough to make Hilda wretch. So Hilda came up with the great idea of giving one of those "fake" kisses that those rich girls do to each other on TV. When she bent down to pull off the fake kiss, the band aid she had in her hand fell out and as the kid went to grab it, Hilda kissed the scratched area and immediately vomited into the fishbowl where Spot was swimming around (remember Spot? The main character of this story?). Poor Spot had just got a fresh water change when this massive splash of vomit came cascading into the tank. He was so repulsed by it that he fell into the toilet. At that point Elmira came rushing in and chastised her father for keeping fish in the bathroom. Why couldn't he keep a copy of Reader's Digest in there like everyone else?? She then netted spot out of the toilet and placed him in a vase until the tank could be cleaned. Meanwhile, the four-year-olds were making cookies. There was flour EVERYWHERE the last time Elmira saw a mess like that was when Oscar knocked over the bird cage--seed and feathers went flying everywhere!! Then the bird got out and Oscar chasing her into the bathroom. She flew into the medicine cabinet and Oscar was right behind her and crashed into it. Elmira realized a little flour wasn't so bad!! There was a mix of every kind of medicine and a little gunpowder, wood chips, flour, and fungus. There was a great boom and a faerie appeared. He was mad because they woke out of his beauty sleep...He said "This better be good.” He then folded his arms across his chest and wondered why he even took this job. He began to become impatient with the bird and the cat fighting, so he turned both of them into each other. So the bird was happy chasing the cat and paying him back when suddenly Hilda came and wacked him in the head. Now he was the one gettin hit. Odd, he had paws and whiskers and he couldn't sing a tune!!! Oscar was beginning to realize, "Now is my chance to escape, he thought. As a bird I could just fly out the window and be gone from this place. So again he started to hatch a plan. He hid in his little piece of rock and thought, “If I could fly I could gather an army of birds and take over the world. mwahahahahahaha. Then I won't have to live in a rock! I won't have to put up with this dimwitted family." Oscar was feeling powerful and then the fairy realized that he made a mistake, and turned them back to their original beings. This really messed up Oscars plan of escape. He had to think of something else. All of the sudden Elmira came into the room and yelled "Oscar! Get out of the bird cage!!!" Oscar couldn't remember how he got in there. Wasn't he just a bird; was it another bad dream from old sardines?? Could cats sleep walk?!? All he knew was he was a cat, then a bird (he thinks, not too sure), and then a cat again and he is sitting on a perch in a bird cage with Elmira yelling at him. Oscar’s head began to spin, and to think this was all over a fish named Spot. Oscar jumped from the cage and headed toward the fish tank where Spot was swimming around and enjoying a nice relaxing time. An evil thought crossed Oscars mind. He crawled, ever so slowly to the tank. He took one paw up to the heater and slowly turned up the heat on Spot. Oscar sat back and thought, "I may never be able to rule the world or even get out of this house, but I can still bring havoc to their puny lives!!!" So he went into the kitchen found a knife and a axe he found an old gun holder and found a rifle. So he gathered all this stuff together and planned on taking his former owners hostage and then realized cats don't have thumbs and all this was useless to him. Just then Hilda walked in and saw all the accumulated weapons and wondered just what her husband was up to. "Chuck...What is all this???" Honey, you know that ever since we moved into this neighborhood the squirrels have scared me, but I always keep axe in the garage and the gun in the gun cabinet. Why did you bring all this out here?"
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Old 06-08-2004, 11:56 PM   #2
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This idea is called "The Lounge" so if you do some reading you will get all of that, and then some.
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Old 06-09-2004, 12:41 AM   #3
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aww "please don't delete this" how cute

I have a better idea.. that is very similiar.
Lets tell a story. Each additional reply can only be one sentence.. lets see if this works out better-

"Once upon a time, there was a cat named dog who owned a 150 gal aquarium that contained one lonely fish.....
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Old 06-09-2004, 12:45 AM   #4
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"and it was the most prettiest fish in the world, nice and big and colorful. It was a...."
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Old 06-09-2004, 12:55 AM   #5
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happy fish until one day, the cat who owned it got hungry and...
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Old 06-09-2004, 12:57 AM   #6
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" tried to eat it but the problem was that this fish was too big to swallow, it had the face of a clown, the body of a naso tang, and fins like a betta. It's offfical name was a........."
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Old 06-09-2004, 01:08 AM   #7
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Bellerophon, a name fit for a fish that is too big to swallow! Since the cat couldn't eat the Bellerophon...
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Old 06-09-2004, 01:12 AM   #8
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it decide that it would just lick it for a while. But when it went to lick the fish, it jumped out of his paws and ran across the ground with it's little tiny legs. It's destination was the toliet. He heard somewhere that all drains lead to the ocean. But before he could get to the bathroom.....
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Old 06-09-2004, 01:16 AM   #9
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omg what a cool idea lyquid


he slipped and fell down the stairs into a cage full of cats. but the Bellerophon was not afraid. He faught them off until one cat came behind him and hit him in the head and he was knocked uncontious. Then "rabbit", owner of "Dog" the owner of the cats rescued the Bellerophon and put him in a tank. A couple days later...
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Old 06-09-2004, 04:03 AM   #10
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One sentence! Only one sentence per entry please

Bellerophon, whose name was appropriatly "spot", woke up from his little fish coma to realize...
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