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Old 12-11-2012, 05:23 PM   #11
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I seen some of peoples "Holier than thou" complex on this site. One person came excited about a new fish they purchased for their 10 gallon tank. That person was ripped a new one because it happened to be a Bala Shark. Only a few gave helpful advice, but the rest made that person leave and never come back. The person even said he took the Bala Shark back. The OP said they were going to upgrade to a 55 gallon tank, but couldn't do it any time soon.

I seen how small Bala Sharks are when you first get them, and to be honest I wouldn't think a big tank was needed myself. The people in this community made the OP feel like crap and I have not seen the OP since.

My point is, the vast majority of us get into this hobby without doing any kind of research. Why should we? A ton of people see fish as just decorations for our amusement, so we grow up thinking that fish die and we just get new ones. I jumped in with a 29 gallon tank and everything died on me. That is when I came to this site and learned about the tank cycle and everything else. So most of the people that think their tank is perfect probably started out like me. Not knowing anything and having a HUGE failure. Now I know more about fish and how to care for them. I will not tell people they did something wrong if it is their first tank set up. They should learn from it, and than we can jump on someone if it's their 2nd tank, by then they should know better. :-p

Another thing is the "Tang Police". LoL I see it a lot, but most websites and fish stores say a Blue Hippo Tang is fine in a 75 gallon tank. Personally I won't put a Blue Hippo into anything smaller than a 125 gallon.
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Old 12-11-2012, 05:24 PM   #12
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Sometimes I find the more info I post the more there is for other people to pick apart. I still think this is a great place for help and information. I agree people might have the fishies interests at heart, but as others said the answers are not all black and white and there is room to wiggle. Thanks for letting me vent, and not kicking me off! I was afraid.
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Old 12-11-2012, 05:33 PM   #13
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everyone has to vent and many of us are understanding of that fact. especially the Mod's... i don't think i've ever seen them remove a thread unless it caused a fight, completely disrespected someone or the occassional doubled thread.(last one i know from personal experience lol... so much for smart phones right??)

we all have to vent sometimes, why not vent to people who may share your pain or at least understand where you're coming from
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Old 12-11-2012, 05:34 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by twoodrough View Post
Sometimes I find the more info I post the more there is for other people to pick apart. I still think this is a great place for help and information. I agree people might have the fishies interests at heart, but as others said the answers are not all black and white and there is room to wiggle. Thanks for letting me vent, and not kicking me off! I was afraid.
I think this is a important discussion! Like you said most people don't really try and help, but rather bash the poor person. I think people need to be aware of who is coming to this site for help.

Most people that come are not going to be experts on fish keeping, that is why they come to sites like this. They need help, otherwise they wouldn't be here. So when a person comes and ask a question, they expect help.

For a first time fish keeper seeking help, only to be bashed for not cycling their tank first, and other size requirements of their fish is all wrong, it can be devastating to that person.

My view is to be kind, and tell them the problems and try to help them along. Education is more important at this point as they can learn and get the information out to more people.

Not every person here bashes the new person, in fact I have only seen it once on my time at this site. It should be noted thou that it's very important to consider how a new person seeking advice is treated the first time they post. It can make the difference between someone not caring about their fish and keep killing them, or an educated person that tells others about how to keep fish properly.
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Old 12-11-2012, 05:37 PM   #15
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+1 for the above from baron1282
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Old 12-11-2012, 06:43 PM   #16
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1) some of us are blunt, we tell the truth and it's up to the individual to determine how they want to take it. I'm very blunt and don't sugar coat my answers, ahem, probably why I don't answer much in the forums.

2) some of us believe in "kiss"; keep it simple stupid. Too much information at once can over- whelm someone

3) to be honest, some people are WAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY too sensitive to any type of criticism, so when you let them know something is wrong, they get their feelers hurt

4) some are people who think because it's the inter-net they can get away with behaviors they wouldn't normally wouldn't do in public or around parents/friends/family.

5) people will be people. You can't change them and you can't shoot them.
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Old 12-11-2012, 07:17 PM   #17
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People are usually here asking questions because they are stressed out by something that is happening in their tank, and feeling they did something wrong to cause it, and not know what to do to fix it, then to be pummeled on top of that is really frustrating. That is probably where I fall.
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Old 12-11-2012, 07:37 PM   #18
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I respect the way the OP stated her feelings. As a 28 year old who remembers using the intraweb in gradeschool I just think this is standard net drama. People, a few mods included, are not held to the same standard of conduct online that they would use in person and give themselves permission to act like jerks when IRL they would check themselves.

Mostly this is the nicest and most respectful online community you are going to find. But don't let {Mod edit} them get you down, just laugh it off! People are crazy, online it just flows more freely. I'd smack a crazy cheesehead but he would never try to pull any {Mod edit} stuff if he saw me face to face and we both know it. I've met men who hide behind their monikers a million times
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Old 12-11-2012, 07:41 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by HopefulHobbiest View Post
i completely understand your pain with this, and i've seen the type of thing you're talking about. i read a thread about a week ago(can't remember what it was) but someone posted some advice to the OP that sounded very legit and with wonderful intentions, however... the next user to post completely ripped the guy apart and borderline called him/her a complete moron.

electronic communication is always hard when it comes to translating emotion behind the words. i see it every day in texts or emails, but i try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt when the scale could go either way. but if you can EASILY tell someone is being a jerk then thats down right rude and not needed. we all come here for help and advice and i am personally greatful to the users who have answered question after question after question from me, even when they seem to be stupid questions there's always someone there to help and 99.9% of the time everyone thats responded to me has been amazing.

i've had multiple run-ins with at least four members that come to mind:
Jetajockey(who posted above)
RiverCats
JLK
and Cynic(if spelled correctly)

these four members are by far the most helpful people here and offer advice without being judgemental or harsh with their approach.

+10 for all four of them
+10 more- I appreciate jeta he gives mods a great name
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Old 12-11-2012, 07:53 PM   #20
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Internet forums are a lot like real life, you have to take things with a grain of salt. Sometimes you are going to like what you hear, sometimes you won't. Sometimes you get exactly the answer you want, sometimes you don't. Sometimes you get help, sometimes you get the jerk who just wants to point out everything you are doing wrong. Sometimes people have good intentions and they just come across wrong, sometimes they are just being a jerk.

Take the good with the bad, focus on the good. If the bad is too far out of line, hit that little report button at the bottom of the post, and a mod will show up to help get things on track. We can't be everywhere at once, and we can't read every thread, but when things get reported, we see it and we can respond.
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