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Old 12-11-2012, 01:15 PM   #1
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Who among us has a perfect tank? (vent)

This site has been awesome and helpful on my journey to figure out the hobby of fishkeeping. But....

My one issue is the tone some people take when answering questions. I know I won't always get the answer I want, but if I am asking about the behavior of a guppy I am not looking for a full tank critique. Some people are good at softening constructive criticism, but there are others that can make incorrect assumptions about me and my knowledge and come off very blunt in their responses and opinions. It has turned me off more than once and I vow to not come back. Then something happens with my tank and I have no where else to go for answers. So, I open myself up for the virtual hand slapping I inevitably get because I don't do things perfectly. I sometimes wonder if the people that are rough on others had their tanks reviewed how they would fair.

For instance:

Yes, I have a fantail goldfish in a 20 gallon tropical tank with 3 other fish. But did you know that I keep the temp on the high side for the goldy and on the low end for the tropical fish? Did you know that I have a 200 gph filter on a 20 gallon tank? Did you know that I keep two large cartridges and a sponge in there to house loads of bacteria for the extra ammonia the goldy is going to produce? Did you know that I do 50% water changes each week or more? Did you know that my nitrates are usually at or under 10? Did know you that I feed about 6 different kinds of food? Did you know that I changed my feeding schedule when I got the goldy because of their lack of digestive system and small frequest feedings will serve her better? Did you know that I have an air stone going to keep the oxygen levels up for the goldy since I have her in a warmer tank? Did you know that once the goldy gets bigger in a couple of years my husband has said I can get a larger tank to accomodate her (and the others)? Did you know that people (non fish people) look at my tank and say it should have more fish? I don't try to explain to them why I don't want more, they wouldn't get it. The person that jumped on may case last week for having a goldy in a 20 gallon tank with tropical fish knew nothing about the research I had done and the things I was trying to do to counter the "wrong" things I was doing. Is my tank perfect? No, but the things I have done and the results I have certainly shouldn't be overlooked.

That is the end of my rant. I am sure there are people itching to jump all over me.

Thank you to those people that are able to tell me that I am not going the right way without making me feel like a bumbling idiot that has no brain and hasn't done any research. I appreciate you more than you know. I listen to you and value your advice.

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Old 12-11-2012, 01:23 PM   #2
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Ohhhhh a fantail in a 20 you may wanna re home that

People are quick to judge but that's only because so many people have been duped by people who know nothing. People only on here have the fishes interest at heart, but I know where your coming from

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Old 12-11-2012, 01:52 PM   #3
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I totally agree to a point. I gave someone some advice the other day about moving a tank, from experience, and another user totally bashed me and made me feel about an inch tall basically saying I shouldnt give such terrible advice.
That said, the mods here are terrific. I don't envy the work they do. Especially because at any given time there are at least 3 posts asking the same question. Somehow they fimd the time and patience to answer each one without being rude. Cheers mods, and thank you for embracing the fact that everyone thinks their cycle is special. There are also a handful of regular posters here that also do a fantastic job helping. I have my people i listen too, and TRY to let the jerks roll off my back.
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Old 12-11-2012, 02:18 PM   #4
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You got help from jlk. Probably the nicest most helpful person on here. Not too sure what your all up in arms about.

What happened with my fantail?
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Old 12-11-2012, 02:48 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by rylake View Post
You got help from jlk. Probably the nicest most helpful person on here. Not too sure what your all up in arms about.

What happened with my fantail?
Yeah ? I agree that jlk is one of the nicest people on here! But I think you're doing just the right thing it looks like you know what you're doing!
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Old 12-11-2012, 03:00 PM   #6
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I think a lot is also lost in tone over the internet. Texts and smilies can only go so far and it's hard to not sound mean or over the top when you are pointing out some flaws.

In the end people only have the fishes needs at heart. Generally we want the best for the fish. Sure some peoples set ups are OK, or can maybe get by but why is it enough? Why not give our fish the best we can? Some people have poor delivery that's for sure but a lot of these people have great experience. The learning never really ends though and when you think you know it all is when you should just throw in the towel

It sounds like you've done a lot of research and all which is great but you still need to be open to other peoples opinion and thoughts. There is still so much to be learned. Do you know the growth rate of goldies? That typically they do all of their growing in the first 2-3 years. Or that by stunting their growth it will shorten their lifespan, most know this but what they don't realize stunting does. That when their bodies stop growing their organs don't. They will grow until they shut down and kill the fish. JLK is a great source of info on goldies, and how to cycle a tank , I would take anything she says heavily into account as she strictly has the fishes best interest in mind.
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Old 12-11-2012, 03:11 PM   #7
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One thing to remember at the end of the day is that most of what you will read from people is opinion. Some are very conservative in their recommendations and others aren't. Some are well informed in their views and others just repeat what they've read somewhere. You'll find this in any community.

People tend to take fish profiles to heart, although they may just represent a suggested "ideal" temperature/ph to keep the species in, and with the nature of the internet anyone can make a 'fish profile' site regardless of accuracy. Many of the fish we keep have extensive wild ranges including varying habitats and seasonal temperature fluctuations, so it can be very subjective. There's likely only a few fish that live all year round in a constant temperature so hard numbers tend to be a bit misleading.

I keep fancy goldfish in my pond and the goes from 50s in the winter to low 80s all summer, they are in there with guppies.
I have another large tank inside with 6 fancy goldfish at room temp (low 70s) and a black ghost knife. Some scream foul or incompatabilty, but I've kept him in community tanks for over a year now, as well as at room temps, and his behavior has been completely normal. If he ever shows any aggressive behavior then he'll have to be moved but so far so good.
I'm sure there are lots of people who wouldn't do things like I do.

My point is everything is not always as black and white as it seems, but keep in mind that people who give advice often go with a 'best practice' approach. It's hard to give stocking advice for 'future' tank sizes, so most will tell you what works and doesn't work in the current setup over the long term.
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Old 12-11-2012, 03:24 PM   #8
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I understand you're "rant" but please understand that the people answering your question are usually trying to give you the best possible answer & they can only base they're response on the information you've provided at that moment. I think many times we read a certain tone into what someone has written & make it sound snotty or degrading in our own minds when the poster did not mean it that way at all. You shouldn't be offended, hurt, mad or any of those other things based on a person's response, ignore the idiots & listen to those you think have the most knowledge for your situation. Just my opinion.
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Old 12-11-2012, 03:45 PM   #9
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i completely understand your pain with this, and i've seen the type of thing you're talking about. i read a thread about a week ago(can't remember what it was) but someone posted some advice to the OP that sounded very legit and with wonderful intentions, however... the next user to post completely ripped the guy apart and borderline called him/her a complete moron.

electronic communication is always hard when it comes to translating emotion behind the words. i see it every day in texts or emails, but i try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt when the scale could go either way. but if you can EASILY tell someone is being a jerk then thats down right rude and not needed. we all come here for help and advice and i am personally greatful to the users who have answered question after question after question from me, even when they seem to be stupid questions there's always someone there to help and 99.9% of the time everyone thats responded to me has been amazing.

i've had multiple run-ins with at least four members that come to mind:
Jetajockey(who posted above)
and Cynic(if spelled correctly)

these four members are by far the most helpful people here and offer advice without being judgemental or harsh with their approach.

+10 for all four of them
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Old 12-11-2012, 03:57 PM   #10
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I agree with the previous comments and would like to include one sorta "counter" point. The more information you place in a thread, the better the advice you will receive to a large degree. i.e. If posting about a fancy in a 20G, state that you have X filter on it with X PWC schedule, with X media, etc. It helps to avoid the automatic jump to conclusions that I have even been guilty of sometimes. And because (as already mentioned) tone is impossible to properly convey in text... Know that I typed this with a on my face and zero ill will.

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