Hello everyone, or the few who kind souls who choose to entertain the freshman class of joinees to this forum. So here is my story:
5 or so years ago the boyfriend of my stepdaughter brought her home 2 little turtles from china town in NYC. Harmless enough right? Uh huh. Of course he (the boyfriend) has been replaced several times over so he is out of the picture. Lucky for him or he'd be a one man turtle-maintenance crew I can assure you. My stepdaughter gave up the turtles for adoption. ****, I didn't want them. The problem is that the oversight board governing the introduction of animals into my home (my wife) made it very clear that once brought into the home, no living non-human creature that is alive can ever be sent out of the house. Who knew? Trust me, a diversion to the Abercrombie store would have been a sure plan, and in hindsight a cheap one, to divert attention away from the well-intended turtle purchase that has had dramatic unintended consequences in MY LFE. Had I realized those little things (turtles not the kids) would require a PhD in water management I would have gladly paid $87 for the t-shirts I had denied out of some belief I was teaching some higher lesson. Let no good deed go unpunished - I was a turtle owner. (For life it seems). I appealed to the board and continue to do so but hope is not high. Not being one to shrug off my duties as an involuntary foster parent of the turtles I set to work. Tank, water, filters. I had fish when i was younger and then oscars in college so what could be so bad right? Check the Ph, take out the chlorine, position some rocks. Ok so I needed a heat lamp for the buggers to bask. No problem. Ok, so anyway, a few years into the 5 one turtle does the noble thing and passes away. Burial ceremonies were planned, a few kind words were uttered, bada bing, done.
One left. She's a healthy turtle. Now 5 or 6 inches long and getting bigger. 5 gallon tank when tiny went to 10 gallons a bit later. 10 became 35. Small filters became larger filters, which became a canister filter, which became a BIGGER canister filter, which became TWO big canister filters. Thousands of dollars to wind up where? Back to the beginning... now I want a 150 gallon tank with the mac-daddy filter set up. Holes driled in the bottom of the tank, three redundant filtration systems using mechanical and biological filters, UV
light, pumps, gauges, valves, and anything else that can create a cleaner and less labor-intensive tank. Yes, that includes paying a monthly fee to a service provider.
Oh, and if there is a filtration, aquarium, consultant I am prepared to pay for professional help in getting this set up and working. Dinner, drinks, cigars, and 18 holes included over and above negotiated fees.