My kid wants a fish. Me against local pet store. Need help.

[drabina]

Couple of weeks ago my kid expressed interest in getting an aquarium and a fish. Well, this past week he came back from a local store with a flyer about Betta fish. I do not know a lot about this hobby but for a last week I have been reading a lot to educate myself and finally past this knowledge to my son. I have tried to tell him that bigger aquarium leads to happier fish and that besides water and food, there are other factors to consider like water quality, filters, water changes, lights, etc. Impatient as he is, he went with my wife to a local pet store and got one of those tiny Betta kits. The aquarium is 0.7 gal and it supposed to filter itself (you change dirty water from back tank). There is no light, no water filter with flow and no heater. He was told by the store clerk that this is perfect for Betta. Of course, he didn't listen to me because my option was to do some research, get bigger aquarium, set it up and all this work takes time. Of course in his mind was better to go to the store and get all in one kit and have fish on his desk in the matter of 15 minutes.

Honestly, I can't stand watching the fish in such small environment. There is no fun in anything because the fish can barely make two moves with the fins to go from one side to the other. Even had a disagreement with my wife since she claims that I am discouraging our kid. She claims she had three gold fish in a small tank some 30 years ago and that they were fine.

We don't have a space for big aquarium but if we consider other placement options than my kid's desk, we could probably get away with 5 or even 10 gallon tank on a small stand in room's corner. But seems like my good will and word are against "educated" store clerks in a shop that doesn't even sell other fish than Bettas and has no other aquariums than those small all in one kits.

Fish and I need help!!!

 

[Ashenwelt]

Um... I have a thread on another site you could show for 5 gallon tanks... but this is insanely debated.

Here is the link... http://www.fishlore.com/aquariumfishforum/index.php?threads/272334/

Beyond that... I would just go but a 5. And help him set it up and get some Tetra safe start pkus

 

[Sharmon]

If I were you I would go get a larger tank and start cycling it. The fish, you and your son will be happier.

 

[Toad]

No offense but you are the parent. Buy a tank. Set it up and get that puppy cycled lol. I don't know how old your son is, but you can print out some very good advice from sites and forums like this and have him read them. Explain that the store is trying to sell stuff and just because it's a store they don't know everything. The most important part of having a pet is taking care of it properly. Have him do water changes, explain why they need done, explain everything you do until he gets it. It will die if not taken care of, and he needs to know that.

 

[TMaier]

Honestly your chances of success are slim. Your wife and son both think they are right. If you move that fish to a bigger tank and it dies you will be held responsible. I hate seeing anything suffer. If it were my household until anyone had the decency to consider my feelings in the matter I would take the fish out of the tank and give it to someone with a proper tank. And really piss them off.

 

[toolman]

No offense but you are the parent. Buy a tank. Set it up and get that puppy cycled lol. I don't know how old your son is, but you can print out some very good advice from sites and forums like this and have him read them. Explain that the store is trying to sell stuff and just because it's a store they don't know everything. The most important part of having a pet is taking care of it properly. Have him do water changes, explain why they need done, explain everything you do until he gets it. It will die if not taken care of, and he needs to know that.

Great learning experience for a young fishkeeper... And the betta would love a 10 gallon mansion! [emoji6]

 

[DreaminginBlue]

Just a thought- if they won't listen to you (even though you know your stuff), find an experienced aquarist or hobbyist willing to give them the correct information. That way they'll be more inclined to listen.
To highlight what this might accomplish, I'll use my favorite literary device: the metaphor.
Sometimes, in school, when I tell a classmate something, it's ignored because "I'm not an expert at it", even when I really do know what I'm talking about. They won't listen to me, but when the teachers tell them exactly what I said, then they listen. It happened today- we were in science talking about osmosis in fish. Someone mentioned "water that's salty but not that salty" and the kid next to me said there's no such thing as a mix- water is either salt or fresh." I kindly explained brackish water to him, and he replied with "I don't believe you." He asked the teacher and got the same response. Then he smiled and nodded. "I didn't know that, that's so cool." I facepalmed so hard there's probably still a mark...
Anyways, even if it's connecting them with someone on this forum, if they're so inclined to listen to petstore "experts" then they'll have to listen to real experts who tell them exactly what you told them.
I'm so sorry that you're caught in this position. It's not easy to know you're right and yet have people certain that you're wrong, especially when you're only trying to help. Best of luck with this, let me know if I can help at all.
- DreaminginBlue

 

[TMaier]

Great learning experience for a young fishkeeper... And the betta would love a 10 gallon mansion! [emoji6]

Betta totally would love the 10g. I guess I'm proposing a different kind of learning experience lol.

 

[toolman]

Betta totally would love the 10g. I guess I'm proposing a different kind of learning experience lol.

Yes, but you're still very right also.

 

[nirbhao]

The question is whether you want to watch the fish die. You're in a rough spot. I do not envy you.

Remind your wife that we know better know. The website in my signature-- injaf.org -- is a really great resource.

I mean, really, setting up a 10 (or even a five) gallon isn't disagreeing. It's encouraging. Say, "hey, I've been thinking about it. I'm glad you're so excited about [Betta's name]. Let's get him a home where he can be more comfortable."

 

[toolman]

Big enough for snails too! [emoji222]

 

[TMaier]

You know parents don't know anything unless they are agreeing with the child.

This is usually true until they are mid-late 20's.

And husbands certainly don't know anything at all if they are disagreeing with the wife and child.

I'm a wife and acknowledge this sad truth. But only after the fact....

 

[drabina]

Thanks for all the replies. Yes, it was me against my kid, wife and local uneducated pet store clerk.

Well, today I took my kid to a real LFS and we came home with Fluval Spec III (2.6 gal) aquarium kit. We are going to set it up tomorrow and start treating it as instructed by the store owner. The owner even offered free water testing to make sure it is all ready to go before we transfer the Betta but I will get a water testing kit anyway. While this may not be an optimal solution I think it is a lot better than the small cube that the fish is in now. I wanted to get at least the Spec V (5 gal) but I can't win all the fights. Sometimes you have to compromise. At least we have filter, heater, light and more room for the fish. Hopefully Betta will be a lot happier in the new home.

 

[nirbhao]

If you're married and always right, please step away from the keyboard and thank your saintly spouse for all of the patience.

But if you're only sometimes right, and, drabina, this is one of those times, then you're like the rest of us.

In terms of parenting, I feel very strongly that my spouse and I present a united front to our daughter.

I feel like reframing this whole situation will relieve a lot of the friction. Move away from the right versus wrong approach. The fish is in your home. Let everybody be happy about that. Be so happy about it that you create a healthy environment for your son's new pet.

 

[nirbhao]

I love the Spec III! I have one, in fact, and the betta who lived there temporarily seemed bizarrely small. I think it's actually a really good solution. Go team!

 

[DreaminginBlue]

Awesome! So glad to hear that you were able to get a bigger tank. I wish you and your sweet little fish the best of luck.