Putting my foot down.....with a bride to be :(

[sillygirl423]

My sister is getting married and her idea for a center piece is, a small vase/bowl with a sunflower in it, rocks at the bottom, and a betta or goldfish?!?!? Of course the fish lover in me burst out and voiced my opinion. So now I am way too eccentric and why did I have to ruin everything? Maybe I'm wrong but this was my argument:
#1 I have no clue what seeps out of a sunflower this could be harmful to the fish
#2 bettas need a minimum 5g tank with heat and filtration goldfish need 20g
#3 how many people will take home a fish
#4 how many people that take home a fish have a cycled tank

I know I "get on my high horse" when it comes to fish care, but maybe in this instance I should've shut up?

Edit: there will be at least 7 tables so that means 7 vase/bowls with fish.

 

[Matt68005]

ohh, i thought this was going to be an article on why she should not marry this guy. lol, i dont see why goldfish or betta's would not be ok.

 

[Mumma.of.two]

ohh, i thought this was going to be an article on why she should not marry this guy. lol, i dont see why goldfish or betta's would not be ok.

I think the problem would be that people like to take centre pieces home. In this case the fish. Maybe if she won't budge on the idea there could be an announcement during speeches saying all the fish are not to be taken/harmed, then after the wedding taken back to the LFS.

 

[sillygirl423]

But then where would they go afterwards? I can't have anymore tanks, maybe if they were all female bettas could they go in my tank? I still am worried about the sunflowers.

 

[Mumma.of.two]

But then where would they go afterwards? I can't have anymore tanks, maybe if they were all female bettas could they go in my tank? I still am worried about the sunflowers.

I don't know about the sun flowers. But maybe you can find a LFS that will let you borrow the fish. Or she could buy them then return them (even for no refund). I'm sure the fish would be fine in the vases (as long as they are not tiny) for a few hours. Someone would have to put them in just before the reception starts and take them out at the end.

Ohh and just putting out there that I would never do this myself. Just throwing out ideas.

 

[Mumma.of.two]

Definitely keep trying to talk her out of it though. Maybe she would like some floating candles or colored glass beads in the vases. Still bright colors but not alive!

 

[sillygirl423]

I don't like the idea of "borrowing" them either. I want her to have what she wants on "her day", but not at the expense of living things. Does anyone have any info on female bettas in a community tank?

 

[gabysapha]

My aunt did this and I got a little upset about it too because my clueless relatives took them home! And being clueless it didn't go to well for the fish.
One of my uncles forgot he took a fish home until i asked him about it 1 month later!
Borrowing would be the most doable and safe option, but a wedding is already a lot of work and this would just add to the list. I hope they are willing to do it!
Then again there are other pretty centerpieces besides fish! I like bowls of water with submerged or floating flowers

 

[gabysapha]

If you have space for a "betta sorority" you could take them. How many centerpieces does she want and how much space do you have? Google betta sorority and you will find numerous threads on other forums about them

 

[sillygirl423]

If you have space for a "betta sorority" you could take them. How many centerpieces does she want and how much space do you have? Google betta sorority and you will find numerous threads on other forums about them

I think we're looking at 7 bettas, I recently bought a 125g, the occupants will be:
1 irridecent shark
1 silver dollar
3 rosy tetras (mistaken identity on my bfs part)
3 roberti/ornate tetras
2 cherry barbs
4 aggassizzi (sp?) Cory cats
1 pleco
5 madagascar rainbow fish (maybe)
Could I still add the females?

 

[gabysapha]

I can't say anything about the 125, but I'm pretty sure 7 will be ok in a 30g or more. Maybe even a 20g! But I think that would be a little too crowded. And make sure it's heavily planted.
Is the 125 the only place they can go? Females are kinda mellow so having fast moving competitors may not be very good for them.

 

[sillygirl423]

Yeah I have a 20 long but it has guppies in it.

 

[LyndaB]

Females are kinda mellow so having fast moving competitors may not be very good for them.

I have to admit that I've never met a mellow female betta that was kept with other females.

First of all, I think this bride needs a good slap upside the head. You don't take living creatures and turn them into centerpieces. Ask her if she'd do it with puppies!

Ok, now..... given the situation, I think that rather than her giving the fish away (if she still insists on doing this dumb butt thing), you should take them and try them out in your large tank. Even if they do get chased some, they'll give back as good as they get.

 

[sillygirl423]

I have to admit that I've never met a mellow female betta that was kept with other females.

First of all, I think this bride needs a good slap upside the head. You don't take living creatures and turn them into centerpieces. Ask her if she'd do it with puppies!

Ok, now..... given the situation, I think that rather than her giving the fish away (if she still insists on doing this dumb butt thing), you should take them and try them out in your large tank. Even if they do get chased some, they'll give back as good as they get.

I think if I can't convince her to not do it at all i'll try them in the tank, if that doesn't work i'll talk to my lfs see if they'll adopt them. I did try slapping her in the head, you know the "mark harmon", didn't seem to knock any sense into her though.

 

[LyndaB]

Maybe you need more power..... try the "chuck norris".....

 

[sillygirl423]

Maybe you need more power..... try the "chuck norris".....

I don't want to take her head completely off! rofl

 

[gabysapha]

Best thing to do is talk and explain the issues. How much time do you have until the wedding?

 

[Scouser]

Call every pet store and tell them not to sell her the fish?

I know it wouldn't work with 99% of stores but my local ones wouldn't sell em

 

[ShadoeFox]

Okay, if you went with female beta's, and very large vases (min a gallon, short term, and something designed base heavy so they won't tip.) and arranged for YOU to take them home you'd likely be okay.

For those who are so militant, me and my wife considered a similar idea (Though only for our head table) with our favorite beta. Frankly, they'd be fine as long as someone responsible is monitoring them.

As for the Sunflowers, you could suggest ARTIFICIAL sunflowers for the tables themselves (Cheaper this time of year), and cut the whole stem off. Basically use them as lids to prevent someone from dumping something into the bowls without realizing it.

Is this ideal? No. Hopefully you can talk her out of it. However, at the end of the day if you take them home (Or if they go home with someone who is willing to listen to what they have to do long term to set up a proper tank for them... frankly I didn't start with my beta in a 'proper' set up and he's rocking along fine nearly a year later, and you're already doing better than most fish stores. (By this I mean: Bigger bowls, more concerned keeper, and actual education required before taking them home).

 

[ocminpin]

I can't say anything about the 125, but I'm pretty sure 7 will be ok in a 30g or more. Maybe even a 20g! But I think that would be a little too crowded. And make sure it's heavily planted.
Is the 125 the only place they can go? Females are kinda mellow so having fast moving competitors may not be very good for them.

My female juvenile betta was very aggressive in my community tank. I put her in to try and she chased, cornered, and attacked my mollies. She sat still until she saw movement and went and attacked them... and they were 3x's her size. Needless to say she lasted less than 5 mins!