I also am not sure any bad advice was given ...Some use this and some use that ... Some have issues others have used it for years ...
Every tank is diffrent ...
I have heard some say that the silica sand does not cause blooms others that swear it does ... there is not much on the market any more that is silicate free....
Either way you decide on the look you want do you want natural sandy bottoms or a crushed coral look ....?
Some make cc work as they have super charged currents in thier tank
the sand just does not allow it to get "stuck" as easy ....
The sand for pool filters and such should work as well ... call your local pool CO and see if they sell it ...
As for the shells besure to boil them in water to clean them if they are not from a tank already ... Especially if they come from the beach ....
You can use good ol aquarium gravel but it may leech the paint on the stones off and cause issues ... your best bet is sand ....