Get over it!

[TraceyB4602]

To be somewhat defensive on this, there are exceptions. I agree that plain old arguing, especially if its off topic of the thread, is plain rude. There are situations though, where a debate is had in a thread on the subject of the thread. What most of us do not want is for misinformation to be given.

I agree. I just hate when I'm trying to catch up on a thread and a whole page is about something that has nothing to do with anything but someone proving a point to another. If it's an opinion between products or filters and it's for the sake of the fishes and the other living creatures in the tank I'm all for it. But if it's random arguing about let's say real plants vs fake plants in a thread about a sick fish I should be talked about elsewhere.

I do love when I see people discussing equipment and how they work and what is better than the other, when it pertains to the OP because I do learn from it.

Sent from my iPhone using Aquarium

 

[Turbosnail]

If I am doing something wrong I would rather someone tell me in a way that screams"that's the wrong way to do that" than nicely suggest something. The sooner I find out I need to change something the sooner it can be fixed.

 

[mfdrookie516]

If I am doing something wrong I would rather someone tell me in a way that screams"that's the wrong way to do that" than nicely suggest something. The sooner I find out I need to change something the sooner it can be fixed.

You must be the minority then.

I won't scream it out, like "what the heck are you thinking???", but I will definitely call out any issues I see that will ultimately effect the fish in a negative manner. I don't really sugar coat, but I do prefer to say it in a way that sounds helpful rather than rude.

 

[Turbosnail]

yeah I just don't see the point of you guys walking on egg shells. This site has helped me and my tank countless times. If the answer to my question is ugly then so be it. I am not condoning rude just to the point.

 

[jenatron]

I think as long as there's something moderately constructive then it's okay. I used to find myself sugar-coating when posting, and it never seemed to get through. I don't consider myself rude (maybe others do ) just to-the-point. Typically my experience on here is if you sugarcoat, they think their mistakes are okay.

 

[mfdrookie516]

yeah I just don't see the point of you guys walking on egg shells. This site has helped me and my tank countless times. If the answer to my question is ugly then so be it. I am not condoning rude just to the point.

Yeah, but that's not us... we're a family friendly site, with TONS of people who are still in their teens. I won't be rude to someone on purpose, even when the urge is right there. I get tested sometimes, but we like the family atmosphere that we try to keep here.

 

[TraceyB4602]

I just get upset when we try and save their fish from bad water or whatever it maybe and they just don't take the advice. Why ask then is my question?

 

[fort384]

I admit that I can be guilty of occasionally posting something on the rude side, but I have a short fuse when it comes to a few things... grammar and punctuation being one of them. It could be worse, I try to show restraint for the most part. I can tell you that there have been more than a few times when I have a big long rant all typed up but I hit the back button instead of "POST". Agree with mfd though, I often think about the fact that there are younger folks around, and try to keep it at least extremely PG, if not always 100% civil.

 

[TraceyB4602]

I admit that I can be guilty of occasionally posting something on the rude side, but I have a short fuse when it comes to a few things... grammar and punctuation being one of them. It could be worse, I try to show restraint for the most part. I can tell you that there have been more than a few times when I have a big long rant all typed up but I hit the back button instead of "POST". Agree with mfd though, I often think about the fact that there are younger folks around, and try to keep it at least extremely PG, if not always 100% civil.

Oh man when I can't even read what a person has written I go berserk. I may talk funny and with an accent but I don't type like I do. When I do post something I make sure to read it over and if something doesn't make sense or I mess up some words I edit it out before hand, or maybe after I see it in the post.

 

[OhNeil1969]

Ironically I've just had an experience on another thread that relates to this one. I tried my hardest to be polite, but no matter what I tried I couldn't seem to get the OP to understand. It can get frustrating. Sometimes you do feel like lashing out. In fact, some other responders did lash out. In the future, if they don't like my advice I'll just stop posting to that question. I may try and clarify a point I've made that may have been misunderstood, but how they take my advice is not my responsibility. Even if you try to be nice you won't always succeed. In the end, just be truthful to what you believe and you'll be OK.

 

[Zagz]

People will not always take advice, in life or in forums. If the advice is not taken, quit posting in the thread. That is the easiest way to deal with it.

Rudeness is never tolerated here because as Jonathon pointed out, we are a family friendly site with many young members.

 

[TraceyB4602]

Ironically I've just had an experience on another thread that relates to this one. I tried my hardest to be polite, but no matter what I tried I couldn't seem to get the OP to understand. It can get frustrating. Sometimes you do feel like lashing out. In fact, some other responders did lash out. In the future, if they don't like my advice I'll just stop posting to that question. I may try and clarify a point I've made that may have been misunderstood, but how they take my advice is not my responsibility. Even if you try to be nice you won't always succeed. In the end, just be truthful to what you believe and you'll be OK.

I had that happen the other day, I was just like fine. If you don't want to do the PWC then don't but for the sake if your fish I hope you do, and left it at that. Don't ask for help if your not willing to accept the answers. Poor little fishies

 

[Krypt]

I just get upset when we try and save their fish from bad water or whatever it maybe and they just don't take the advice. Why ask then is my question?

This is a big pet peeve for me. Just makes me shake my head, especially when they come back again and again after totally ignoring whatever previous advice was given. I just don't even open threads from those posters anymore.

 

[tyspot1000]

Wow..... What a thread.

Matter of opinion is but the least a times. Yes, if you do have something to say, say it politely. I can not really tolerate (as being me) rude or aggressive posts either towards me or the OP, Most times (Haven't done it on here yet, and hope it stays that way.) It will be reported.

Yes, some people might sound harsh at time, but They are only trying to help with the situation. One time, I seen a thread (on another forum of course) getting way out of hand, The OP Just kept asking the same question ignoring any advice giving to him before on the same subject. Shortly after, they thread was closed (by a mod) and he was told that he was given all the advice everyone could give.

 

[jenatron]

This is a big pet peeve for me. Just makes me shake my head, especially when they come back again and again after totally ignoring whatever previous advice was given. I just don't even open threads from those posters anymore.

I guess that's why I've become more straight-forward. Because people act like fish are a joke. You can kill them and it's okay. Torture them? Not their problem. They didn't expect it to be complicated, or require work. We all start out in the same place: uneducated and making a ton of mistakes. If you're not willing to learn, not only why are you asking, but why are you keeping fish, or any animal?

I've just now becoming capable of walking away and realizing some people just don't care..

 

[Homedog98]

This reminds me of a recent thread I started, asking questions about one of my fish that has swim bladder.

I replied,

I mean, if you ask a question, how do you not expect people to give you answers like that? 99% of the time they are trying to help your situation. Chances are, for example, when you ask a question because you are having problems with a tank, how do you not expect people to tell you what you are doing wrong? If you were doing everything perfectly, you wouldn't have an issue in the first place. I need someone to tell me that I'm doing something wrong, so I can fix it. Otherwise, no one is helping the situation, or the fish, for that matter.

I think when people get upset, it sometimes is because they take things differently, or are more sensitive. No one wants to hear that they are doing things wrong, but you have to, in order to things right! I think that unless the situation is really that bad, or the OP is just NOT listening and doesn't plan to do the right thing, there is no need to be too harsh. Another reason people might seem offended is because in the moment they might be frustrated, or a bit upset. "Whaa?? You mean that even after all that advice from the LFS I can't keep that beautiful, brand new Oscar in my 10 gallon? "

Arguing when it comes to opinions, or posting rudely is a different, though. However, that's a whole other topic.

So wait... I'm a little confused... Did that post offend you or not? I hope it didn't, or I wasn't trying to anyway, but... I'm sorry if it did! I don't like being too harsh on posts because then the OP just gets discouraged. Most of the time people join these forums to learn, not just get slapped in the face. So you just have to tell them, ya you messed up, but your not a horrible person because of it, here's how to fix it. That's what the whole idea of forums was started for. To give people advice by working together to help people understand!

 

[Turbosnail]

Yeah, but that's not us... we're a family friendly site, with TONS of people who are still in their teens. I won't be rude to someone on purpose, even when the urge is right there. I get tested sometimes, but we like the family atmosphere that we try to keep here.

I totally agree with you. I was not saying that being rude is ok. What I was trying to say is, I am not offended by to the point answers. I would never be rude to someone on purpose either.

 

[mandy2936]

So wait... I'm a little confused... Did that post offend you or not? I hope it didn't, or I wasn't trying to anyway, but... I'm sorry if it did! I don't like being too harsh on posts because then the OP just gets discouraged. Most of the time people join these forums to learn, not just get slapped in the face. So you just have to tell them, ya you messed up, but your not a horrible person because of it, here's how to fix it. That's what the whole idea of forums was started for. To give people advice by working together to help people understand!

oh, haha no! I'm saying how I never get offended when people tell me what I'm doing wrong, because it helps me. I used your post as an example of that kind of a situation, where you pointed out an error and apologized incase you came across as harsh. I replied telling you that I didn't find the post rude, because again, I need someone to tell me what I'm doing wrong, afterall, I asked the question to get an answer.

 

[Jason7894561230]

we are a family friendly site with many young members.

People may not think that but i have been very surprised by the number of members around 13-15 and its an awesome site

 

[uscamaro]

I think we all can agree that it's easier to say what needs to be said than beat around the bush for an extra 10 minutes just to make sure everyone feels warm and cozy. What's the point of writing 3 paragraphs when 2 sentences says the same thing?

Most of the posters on here are looking for immediate answers because the problem they have is happening right then. I, like most on here, would rather have quick bullets of facts and advice than a bunch of sugar.