TraceyB4602
Aquarium Advice FINatic
Yes, it could be a matter of minutes to save that poor little fish get to the point I say.
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Get over it!
- Thread starter uscamaro
- Start date
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ChelseaLake
Aquarium Advice Activist
Yeah, but if the person has no idea what is causing the fish to die, a few minutes isn't really going to matter anyway - it's probably going to die.
I guess I'm a little torn. I work with people. Lots and lots of people. I see and speak with many different kinds of people and have learned this:
While "getting to the point" serves a purpose - it's easier, faster, doesn't take much thought or effort - a little sugar can go a long way.
Nobody is going to listen to a thing you say if you come across as being rude, short, or patronizing. They will take everything you say for a grain of salt. To a lot of people, being "short" is synonymous with being "rude". You will seriously help more people if you appear to be concerned and sweet. Not everybody is okay with a 2 word answer. Some people need a "I'm very sorry to hear this" at the beginning, and an "If you need anything" at the end. If you can type, it doesn't take that much longer to be kind.
Believe me, it's hard to care about a call in which a 3 year old scraped her knee, and the mother is standing over you freaking out and calling you every name in the book. "WHY DON'T YOU DOOOO SOMETHING!" However, I feel as if in order to grow as a person, we have to respond to situations like this in the kindest way possible. "WHY ARE MY 5 GOLDFISH DYING!? They're in a 3g tank!!!"
Now, on the other hand, in my line of work, talk between 2 professionals is very short when in the heat of the moment. "NS-IV. Hold this. Do this, do that. Tuck in your shirt. Put on your seatbelt. PUT IT ON. You're doing it wrong. Get vitals again. Do it again." There's an understanding between us that nothing is to be taken personally. Our job is to provide the best (and fastest) patient care possible, and look good doing it. If you suck at something, you're going to hear about it. Especially if you're new and young. But hey, it makes learning very fast.
So yeah...rant over. In conclusion: When you don't know how somebody is going to take it - add a teaspoon of sugar. If you're working with another very like-minded person, keep it short.
*pant pant*
I guess I'm a little torn. I work with people. Lots and lots of people. I see and speak with many different kinds of people and have learned this:
While "getting to the point" serves a purpose - it's easier, faster, doesn't take much thought or effort - a little sugar can go a long way.
Nobody is going to listen to a thing you say if you come across as being rude, short, or patronizing. They will take everything you say for a grain of salt. To a lot of people, being "short" is synonymous with being "rude". You will seriously help more people if you appear to be concerned and sweet. Not everybody is okay with a 2 word answer. Some people need a "I'm very sorry to hear this" at the beginning, and an "If you need anything" at the end. If you can type, it doesn't take that much longer to be kind.
Believe me, it's hard to care about a call in which a 3 year old scraped her knee, and the mother is standing over you freaking out and calling you every name in the book. "WHY DON'T YOU DOOOO SOMETHING!" However, I feel as if in order to grow as a person, we have to respond to situations like this in the kindest way possible. "WHY ARE MY 5 GOLDFISH DYING!? They're in a 3g tank!!!"
Now, on the other hand, in my line of work, talk between 2 professionals is very short when in the heat of the moment. "NS-IV. Hold this. Do this, do that. Tuck in your shirt. Put on your seatbelt. PUT IT ON. You're doing it wrong. Get vitals again. Do it again." There's an understanding between us that nothing is to be taken personally. Our job is to provide the best (and fastest) patient care possible, and look good doing it. If you suck at something, you're going to hear about it. Especially if you're new and young. But hey, it makes learning very fast.
So yeah...rant over. In conclusion: When you don't know how somebody is going to take it - add a teaspoon of sugar. If you're working with another very like-minded person, keep it short.
*pant pant*
TraceyB4602
Aquarium Advice FINatic
Or add good luck at the end that always helps. : )
I guess when you see the same question over and over, it's easy to be rude. Explanation marks at the end of a sentence like when someone says stop adding fish!!!!! Seems rude to me. It's like please stop screaming at me. But if they would have just put stop adding fish. (period) It would have been a totally different take.
People who come here for advice that are new to fish usually have been told by there LFS something completely different and then are very confused and when you feel like your getting screamed at for asking a question I'm sure you would take an answer with a grain of salt I know I would.
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I guess when you see the same question over and over, it's easy to be rude. Explanation marks at the end of a sentence like when someone says stop adding fish!!!!! Seems rude to me. It's like please stop screaming at me. But if they would have just put stop adding fish. (period) It would have been a totally different take.
People who come here for advice that are new to fish usually have been told by there LFS something completely different and then are very confused and when you feel like your getting screamed at for asking a question I'm sure you would take an answer with a grain of salt I know I would.
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mandy2936
Aquarium Advice Addict
- Joined
- Jul 7, 2010
- Messages
- 1,909
I am also kind of torn. I think that people asking for help should accept it, and people answering questions should say it nicely. What kind of site would this be if everyone said things rudely? There is nothing wrong with being polite and friendly, as I think that it will also cause the asker to accept the advice better. Like so many members here, nice and helpful is always the best way to go 
(IMO)
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