Nitrate poisoning and I'm desperate to save my fish!!!! Please help...

[EGGBERT]

I would definitely recommend pothos. It’s not an aquatic plant, so to grow it it aquariums you put the roots in the water and the vines out of the water coming out of the tank. It’s okay if some vines are in the water, it’s just a few that have to be out. Pothos roots absolutely devour nitrates and seems good for the situation your in. I’ve also not seen many fish eat pothos roots so that’s a plus. You can also also try some fully aquatic plants but they might get eaten. How is the tank doing though? Any improvement ?

Re POTHOS: only employ if u either have no 4-legged companion animals or if the aquarium is well out of their reach. Pothos r notably brilliant at neutralizing nitrates, BUT they’re TOXIC to cats/dogs.

 

[Libby1]

I hate to say it but that sounds like you are seeing her end of life stages. The resting a lot is a sign of that. When the fish get old and are not eating well, they have no substance to maintain the health of the tissues and the fins. Usually at that stage, other fish in a tank or in nature will pick on and at the diminished fish. I'm just assuming the other 2 fish in with her are not picking at her. If I'm wrong about that, we are back to square one where she would need to be isolated from the other fish. Sadly, this is a reality in the pets we keep. They do not have a lifespan as long as ours so we have to experience deaths. You can take comfort in that you did keep her for so many years ( 10 I believe) which is basically their natural lifespan. You can't stop the inevitable, you can only delay it and you've done that.

OMG. I am heartbroken!!!! I was so afraid of hearing that...!!! Are you saying it's not something I did wrongly...?? or the nitrate poisoning that happened a few months ago....?? Because why are my other 2 silver dollars fine, they are exactly the same age; actually they are siblings.

Is there ANYthing I can do to know I've done EVERYthing to help her......?? Please if you can help me with that or give me clarity I would greatly appreciate it.

Yes, 10 years. I'm so sad OMG. No it doesn't seem like the other two are picking on her. I'm relieved that at least my tank is peaceful now (from what I see when I'm watching them). She swims around more comfortably at night, and when the room is dark.

Gosh, I am really, really heartbroken. I don't even know what to expect.... and I'm afraid to ask, although I should ask so that I know what I'm seeing and if there's anything I can do.............

I'm feeling a lot of guilt because I'm pretty sure that if it wasn't for the nitrate problem, she would have been fine now. And even if she did develop the bump (if it's unrelated; like you said it might have been an ovary problem, which makes sense because it's the shape that you explained to me in that graph you posted) she could have just continued living healthily with that bump, instead of stopping to eat, etc.

Ughhhh - I don't know where to place my emotions!!!!!!!!!

As for the pH issue, crushed coral is just one way of helping keep pH at an alkaline state but that is done when the crushed coral dissolves after the water turns to an acid state. There is no formula for how much crushed coral is needed to achieve a certain pH level in a certain sized tank. The best pH level for nitrification is the upper 7s to lower 8s. If your source water is not that high, you will run into issues where you add lower pH water and the fish adjusts to that and then the pH rises from the coral dissolving and then you do a large water change because there are high nitrates because your fish is big and needs a good amount of food to stay healthy and because you have the pH in the better nitrification zone so they are producing nitrates at the optimal level, you risk putting the fish into pH shock from dropping the pH too much too rapidly using lower pH water for the change. In your case, since your source water's pH is lower 7s if I recall, doing water changes will be your best bet instead of trying to alter the pH to a different level.

I tested my tap water, if I recall correctly it has a PH level of 6.8 so I guess I'll just keep doing what I'm doing for now...? Water changes.

Getting that Parrot into a larger tank, no matter where, is still the best thing to do for it. You are trying to build a sand castle at the water's edge with the expectation that a wave won't wash that castle away. A 10 gallon tank is not the right tank for an adult Blood Parrot.

I know. I will figure out a better alternative for him. But the emergency was to get him out of my main tank, which I did, and for the moment he's doing well in the small tank but as soon as I can breathe for a second I'll figure out what I can do next. Until then I'll do as you advised, aiming for 2 water changes per week.

I'm heartbroken about Bumpy Fish, carrying guilt which I probably shouldn't, and terrified of what's to come.... Yes, I take my fish seriously It's not "just a fish" like I've heard many say.

 

[Andy Sager]

OMG. I am heartbroken!!!! I was so afraid of hearing that...!!! Are you saying it's not something I did wrongly...?? or the nitrate poisoning that happened a few months ago....?? Because why are my other 2 silver dollars fine, they are exactly the same age; actually they are siblings.

Is there ANYthing I can do to know I've done EVERYthing to help her......?? Please if you can help me with that or give me clarity I would greatly appreciate it.

At this point, the only thing you should have done was move the parrot out 3 months ago when you first posted the problem. But now that is spilled milk so no sense beating yourself up about it. Call it a learning experience that when someone with more experience suggests things, you act upon them faster. The bottom line tho is that the fish was an older fish and there may have been nothing you could have done to prevent the bump. That you kept her alive the extra 3 months is a positive so there is that.

Yes, 10 years. I'm so sad OMG. No it doesn't seem like the other two are picking on her. I'm relieved that at least my tank is peaceful now (from what I see when I'm watching them). She swims around more comfortably at night, and when the room is dark.

Gosh, I am really, really heartbroken. I don't even know what to expect.... and I'm afraid to ask, although I should ask so that I know what I'm seeing and if there's anything I can do.............

I'm feeling a lot of guilt because I'm pretty sure that if it wasn't for the nitrate problem, she would have been fine now. And even if she did develop the bump (if it's unrelated; like you said it might have been an ovary problem, which makes sense because it's the shape that you explained to me in that graph you posted) she could have just continued living healthily with that bump, instead of stopping to eat, etc.

That is something you will never know the answer to. She also could have just died during the poisoning but she didn't.

Ughhhh - I don't know where to place my emotions!!!!!!!!!


I tested my tap water, if I recall correctly it has a PH level of 6.8 so I guess I'll just keep doing what I'm doing for now...? Water changes.

I know. I will figure out a better alternative for him. But the emergency was to get him out of my main tank, which I did, and for the moment he's doing well in the small tank but as soon as I can breathe for a second I'll figure out what I can do next. Until then I'll do as you advised, aiming for 2 water changes per week.

I'm heartbroken about Bumpy Fish, carrying guilt which I probably shouldn't, and terrified of what's to come....

If you are lucky, she will pass at night while the lights are off and you will just see a dead body in the tank that you need to remove. How you deal with the body is up to you.

Yes, I take my fish seriously It's not "just a fish" like I've heard many say.

Hopefully the other Dollars will last a lot longer but they too are in the " twilight" of their lives so nothing in the way of time or health is guaranteed.

 

[Libby1]

At this point, the only thing you should have done was move the parrot out 3 months ago when you first posted the problem. But now that is spilled milk so no sense beating yourself up about it. Call it a learning experience that when someone with more experience suggests things, you act upon them faster. The bottom line tho is that the fish was an older fish and there may have been nothing you could have done to prevent the bump. That you kept her alive the extra 3 months is a positive so there is that.

I hate this. Are you saying I could have prevented her dying so soon......??? Gosh. My heart hurts. Is there nothing I can do to get her to eat....? She used to love blood worms.. she hasn't come to eat it. I don't know what to do. I guess no point in hand-feeding her or trying a million different foods; I haven't yet tried the freeze-dried shrimp.. didn't have the time to go buy it but I should have ordered it online. Perhaps I will do that. I still wish I could save her.... My dad had fish that lived 17 years!! I want to take that same pride. But also, I want to do whatever I can to make her life comfortable.

That is something you will never know the answer to. She also could have just died during the poisoning but she didn't.



If you are lucky, she will pass at night while the lights are off and you will just see a dead body in the tank that you need to remove. How you deal with the body is up to you.

I don't want her to suffer....!! I'm so afraid of that. And it's really heartbreaking to "expect" what you're describing. But mainly, I don't want to see her suffering because I don't know how I could handle that.

 

[Andy Sager]

I hate this. Are you saying I could have prevented her dying so soon......???

I'm saying that there is no way of knowing for sure but if everything we have done and advised would make her live a minute longer but only that she was in very bad shape when you started this thread and made it another 3 months in less than ideal conditions. As my Vet said to me on my Monkey's last visit to him is that " There comes a time when there is nothing medically we can do to prolong a life. Eventually the clock just stops ticking."

Gosh. My heart hurts. Is there nothing I can do to get her to eat....? She used to love blood worms.. she hasn't come to eat it. I don't know what to do. I guess no point in hand-feeding her or trying a million different foods; I haven't yet tried the freeze-dried shrimp.. didn't have the time to go buy it but I should have ordered it online. Perhaps I will do that. I still wish I could save her.... My dad had fish that lived 17 years!! I want to take that same pride.

Just because your Dad had a fish to live 17 years does not mean you can also unless you use the same specie in the same sized tank feeding the same foods with the same maintenance schedule AND it was the same fish as he had. Fish lifespans range from under a year ( annual killifish) to 25 years ( Koi & some goldfish) to 100 years ( Lungfish). The average age of the majority of fish kept in a tank is 5-8 years so no matter how well you take care of these 5-8 year lifespan fish, they are not going to routinely live past that 5-8 years.

But also, I want to do whatever I can to make her life comfortable.

I don't want her to suffer....!! I'm so afraid of that. And it's really heartbreaking to "expect" what you're describing. But mainly, I don't want to see her suffering because I don't know how I could handle that.

The " suffering" at an end of life stage is subjective. There have been studies in human behavior in the elderly with no medical issues that showed that people tend to know when they are dying. I believe that is more a case of acceptance than suffering. There is no way of knowing if that includes the animal kingdom but I believe it does so they don't " suffer" at the end as much as accept the inevitable. There is an irony in marine fish where they actually show their best colors as they are dying. Great coloring is a sign of a healthy fish. The thought is that they do this to not show weakness because in the ocean, weak fish become food for other fish. So they don't want to get eaten before their time but afterwards, they have no control on their destiny.

You have a choice, and you should make it based on YOUR ability to handle the result: You can euthanize the fish or just let nature take it's coarse. With one, you can do whatever ritual that will make you feel better and control the situation or you can wait for the other with no control of the when. I don't believe the fish will judge you either way you choose. Based on your description of what's happening and her age, she will not get better IMO so trying all these different foods will make no difference.

Hope this helps.

 

[Libby1]

I'm saying that there is no way of knowing for sure but if everything we have done and advised would make her live a minute longer but only that she was in very bad shape when you started this thread and made it another 3 months in less than ideal conditions. As my Vet said to me on my Monkey's last visit to him is that " There comes a time when there is nothing medically we can do to prolong a life. Eventually the clock just stops ticking."

So, so heartbreaking. I hate this. This is why I don't have other pets (except rescues, like a turtle and a bird. And I'm worried about their old ages, too, except they live way longer than fish). I'm an animal lover. But I get very heartbroken when something happens.

I really, really hope I gave her the best chance at life... I know that if i had found you sooner, the results may have been very different. I hate to think about that. I wonder if I had removed the bully sooner, would things have been different...? But I can't keep beating myself up because there's life to deal with also. Which is why I couldn't do things sooner, etc. I can't help it. I tried so hard to do my best.

My heart hurts.

Just because your Dad had a fish to live 17 years does not mean you can also unless you use the same specie in the same sized tank feeding the same foods with the same maintenance schedule AND it was the same fish as he had. Fish lifespans range from under a year ( annual killifish) to 25 years ( Koi & some goldfish) to 100 years ( Lungfish). The average age of the majority of fish kept in a tank is 5-8 years so no matter how well you take care of these 5-8 year lifespan fish, they are not going to routinely live past that 5-8 years.

I hear you on that. My gut tells me she may have lived longer than her average life span. But obviously I can't know that for sure. The bump was happening either way; it might have had nothing to do with the nitrates. Like you said in various posts, it could have been a number of things (and likely the ovaries scenerio). But yeah.. the bully made her stop eating.. and that's what might be causing her malnutrition, etc... Ughhhhhhhhhh

The " suffering" at an end of life stage is subjective. There have been studies in human behavior in the elderly with no medical issues that showed that people tend to know when they are dying. I believe that is more a case of acceptance than suffering. There is no way of knowing if that includes the animal kingdom but I believe it does so they don't " suffer" at the end as much as accept the inevitable. There is an irony in marine fish where they actually show their best colors as they are dying. Great coloring is a sign of a healthy fish. The thought is that they do this to not show weakness because in the ocean, weak fish become food for other fish. So they don't want to get eaten before their time but afterwards, they have no control on their destiny.

Wow. It's amazing to see how even just a fish has that certain level of "understanding" (if that's the right terminology). I am so desperately hoping she's just simply okay with what's going on. She sometimes swims towards me when I turn on the light, then she goes back to her quiet area. I don't know if I should keep her company or just let her be. I think I'll keep the lights mostly closed so she's in a more relaxed environment. Some daylight does filter in through the window during the day, but not much during the winter.

You have a choice, and you should make it based on YOUR ability to handle the result: You can euthanize the fish or just let nature take it's coarse. With one, you can do whatever ritual that will make you feel better and control the situation or you can wait for the other with no control of the when. I don't believe the fish will judge you either way you choose. Based on your description of what's happening and her age, she will not get better IMO so trying all these different foods will make no difference.

So.. are you saying I should not have guilt that she's not eating.....? It's not anything I'm doing wrong... right? And literally nothing else I can do, right....? I hate to think that she might be - in a sense - literally starving to death I hope that is not actually the case!!!???? I'm hoping she's eating something, somewhere in the tank, at some point??? I do feed the other fish so there's chewed remnants of veggies, etc. Please can you tell me your thoughts on this...? Although I'm afraid to hear it. Thanks.....

I can't imagine euthanizing her... I don't think I have the guts to do it. Although I wonder if that's the most humane thing to do..? I just hope and pray she doesn't suffer, and when her time does come it's quick and simple. Ughhhh I'm naseous as I'm writing this. I love this fish so much. She is a warrior; she's survived so many things, including that huge burn when she was young. Gosh. Why.

Hope this helps.

Everything helps. I need the support, the explanations, the understanding. So thank you. I'm very sad. And I'm in tears as I'm writing this. I could cry a mountain now. And I just literally might.

 

[Andy Sager]

So, so heartbreaking. I hate this. This is why I don't have other pets (except rescues, like a turtle and a bird. And I'm worried about their old ages, too, except they live way longer than fish). I'm an animal lover. But I get very heartbroken when something happens.

I really, really hope I gave her the best chance at life... I know that if i had found you sooner, the results may have been very different. I hate to think about that. I wonder if I had removed the bully sooner, would things have been different...? But I can't keep beating myself up because there's life to deal with also. Which is why I couldn't do things sooner, etc. I can't help it. I tried so hard to do my best.

My heart hurts.


I hear you on that. My gut tells me she may have lived longer than her average life span. But obviously I can't know that for sure. The bump was happening either way; it might have had nothing to do with the nitrates. Like you said in various posts, it could have been a number of things (and likely the ovaries scenerio). But yeah.. the bully made her stop eating.. and that's what might be causing her malnutrition, etc... Ughhhhhhhhhh


Wow. It's amazing to see how even just a fish has that certain level of "understanding" (if that's the right terminology). I am so desperately hoping she's just simply okay with what's going on. She sometimes swims towards me when I turn on the light, then she goes back to her quiet area. I don't know if I should keep her company or just let her be.

Your choice.

I think I'll keep the lights mostly closed so she's in a more relaxed environment. Some daylight does filter in through the window during the day, but not much during the winter.


So.. are you saying I should not have guilt that she's not eating.....? It's not anything I'm doing wrong... right? And literally nothing else I can do, right....? I hate to think that she might be - in a sense - literally starving to death I hope that is not actually the case!!!???? I'm hoping she's eating something, somewhere in the tank, at some point??? I do feed the other fish so there's chewed remnants of veggies, etc. Please can you tell me your thoughts on this...? Although I'm afraid to hear it. Thanks.....

If the water quality is good and the other 2 fish are feeding with no issues, then you are doing nothing wrong. Just for the record, dying animals do not usually eat or eat that much so she may be starving herself but there is nothing you can do about that.

I can't imagine euthanizing her... I don't think I have the guts to do it. Although I wonder if that's the most humane thing to do..? I just hope and pray she doesn't suffer, and when her time does come it's quick and simple. Ughhhh I'm naseous as I'm writing this. I love this fish so much. She is a warrior; she's survived so many things, including that huge burn when she was young. Gosh. Why.

This is your choice.

Everything helps. I need the support, the explanations, the understanding. So thank you. I'm very sad. And I'm in tears as I'm writing this. I could cry a mountain now. And I just literally might.

After 10 years, it's no longer just a fish death. It's the loss of a family member. Mourn as you see fit.

 

[Libby1]

If the water quality is good and the other 2 fish are feeding with no issues, then you are doing nothing wrong. Just for the record, dying animals do not usually eat or eat that much so she may be starving herself but there is nothing you can do about that.

Thank you for clarifying that. Because I desperately need to know I'm doing everything I possibly can to help her, or make her feel the most comfortable. I keep desperately checking for signs that she's eating. I'm so, so sad. Omg. Truly heartbroken.

After 10 years, it's no longer just a fish death. It's the loss of a family member. Mourn as you see fit.

Thank you for the validation. I'm literally in tears. It's really a sad time for me now I'm dreading what's coming.

I took a video just to show you, to make sure I'm not missing anything. I didn't realize what horrible quality the video is, though. Let me know if I should refilm. Also take note that there are strong reflections on the glass in the area she's at, and also it's a bow-front so a bit distorted.

You could see, though, that her color is not great and she's basically hanging out in that area. Although the others do, too, when the light is on. Weirdos. Sometimes she swims around. Also, towards the end of the video I zoomed in closer so you could see her breathing, etc. I'm so afraid to hear what you have to say. But I'm bracing myself. I just need to know I'm not neglecting her in any way, and that I've done everything for her. Like, if you'd say there's some vitamin or something i can give, I don't even know.

As for what I could have done months and months ago, I likely could have avoided this. I'm gutwrenched. before I came onto this forum and found you, I had gone to my LFS to get "guidance". I believe that was back in October! That was when Bumpy Fish still barely even had the slightest thing showing, and at that point was my strongest, healthiest Dollar. I immediately had noticed that something is up, which is when I noticed the nitrate poisoning, and had I found you back then, I'm pretty sure you could have diagnosed things faster and given me the right guidance. I'm trying not to think about this. Because it's eating at me. But it's also really not my fault; how could I have known. But I've learnt a lot from this. Now my goal is to first try my hardest to help her.

Here's the link:

Thank you so much for being here with me throughout this.

 

[Andy Sager]

It looks like whatever is causing the bump may finally be getting to her. It's not a tank issue, it's a fish issue and there's nothing you can do about the bump anymore. I don't see the other fish distressing her but her tail has some deterioration as does her anal fin so it may have come from the other fish. Sorry to say but it's time to face reality, you've done all you can and now it's out of your hands.

 

[Libby1]

It looks like whatever is causing the bump may finally be getting to her. It's not a tank issue, it's a fish issue and there's nothing you can do about the bump anymore. I don't see the other fish distressing her but her tail has some deterioration as does her anal fin so it may have come from the other fish. Sorry to say but it's time to face reality, you've done all you can and now it's out of your hands.

Wow. Okay. I know you've had years and years of experience so if it might have been something else or something I can do, you'd tell me. I guess the bump could have been anything. She may even have fish cancer, who knows. Right? Or cancer in the ovaries, hence her bump shape. Like, it could be anything and there's just so much I can do. Also, it's reassuring to know it's not a tank issue. Sigh. Thank you. I just don't want to see her suffer.. when her time comes, I hope it goes from one second to the next. I will keep you posted...

 

[Libby1]

So Bumpy Fish is alive still.. and the situation is the same. Mostly rests, swims around a bit, doesn't come for food although sometimes it looks like she would, one time I saw her take something from the top of the water into her mouth. Her color is quite faded like in the video I had sent. Sigh. So, so sad. I just wanna know I'm doing whatever I need to do to make her comfortable, or to help her, if that's even possible. I wish I could help her. Somehow. With something. So I figured I'd update you and check with you. Thanks

 

[Andy Sager]

There's really nothing more you can do past "putting her out of her misery" which you said you can't do. Because she was an older, larger fish, it may take some time to end. If she is finding and eating food, that may delay the inevitable but medically, there's nothing more you can do.

 

[Airborne 82nd]

Sorry but I could not do this to my Oscar. Let him suffer that is Try to over come your fears and do the right thing for Bumpy Fish or get someone to do it for you. I am sorry for what you are going through but that does not make Bumpy feel any better these things happen no matter what you decide to take care of. It was very hard for me to put down my last Chihuahua. I've put down several dogs but she was a tuff one 12 years of fun and love. After a while you can get a new fish.

 

[madi.ayala10]

Re POTHOS: only employ if u either have no 4-legged companion animals or if the aquarium is well out of their reach. Pothos r notably brilliant at neutralizing nitrates, BUT they’re TOXIC to cats/dogs.

Thanks so much I forgot to mention that!

 

[Libby1]

Sorry but I could not do this to my Oscar. Let him suffer that is Try to over come your fears and do the right thing for Bumpy Fish or get someone to do it for you. I am sorry for what you are going through but that does not make Bumpy feel any better these things happen no matter what you decide to take care of. It was very hard for me to put down my last Chihuahua. I've put down several dogs but she was a tuff one 12 years of fun and love. After a while you can get a new fish.

I'm reading this now
I don't even know how to humanely end it.. I don't know what the process would be.. so while I can't imagine doing it, i don't even know how I'd do it. And at the same time, of course I don't want to see her suffer. It's been sickening to me.

I was away for 3 days and as of a few hours ago when I returned home, could see it's starting to happen... I'm so sickened Omg. I am staying away from the fish tank because I can't watch it.

I'm so traumatized by the heartache of this fish's situation that I don't know how I'm going to wanna see fish again after this. I do still have 3 fish other than her.. I hope I will be able to enjoy them properly.

 

[Libby1]

There's really nothing more you can do past "putting her out of her misery" which you said you can't do. Because she was an older, larger fish, it may take some time to end. If she is finding and eating food, that may delay the inevitable but medically, there's nothing more you can do.

I am completely heartbroken.
I don't know if you saw my post above, responding to @Airborne 82nd but I was away for 3 days and as of a few hours ago when I returned home, could see it's starting to happen... She's kind of leaning on a plant, she moves but might be holding up only due to the plant, I don't know. And indeed her colors seem to be really nice I am so completely sickened Omg. And I have guilt. I shouldn't. Especially since I kept checking with you, just in case, to make sure I'm doing everything I can. Am I correct with that..? I am weak with emotion. I am staying away from the fish tank because I can't watch it. And I'm afraid to go there or check in the morning. I really don't know what to do.....

 

[Andy Sager]

I am completely heartbroken.
I don't know if you saw my post above, responding to @Airborne 82nd but I was away for 3 days and as of a few hours ago when I returned home, could see it's starting to happen... She's kind of leaning on a plant, she moves but might be holding up only due to the plant, I don't know. And indeed her colors seem to be really nice I am so completely sickened Omg. And I have guilt. I shouldn't. Especially since I kept checking with you, just in case, to make sure I'm doing everything I can. Am I correct with that..? I am weak with emotion. I am staying away from the fish tank because I can't watch it. And I'm afraid to go there or check in the morning. I really don't know what to do.....

Yes, I saw the post above tonight ( actually this morning since it's 12:30 a.m. now )
It's always a sad thing to lose a pet you've had for so long. The only real solace is that you did have her for so long. Nothing lives forever so the best you can do is keep them for their natural lives. I can't address your guilt because I only know about the last 1/10th of the conversation. All I can say about the idea of guilt is that whatever you do or did to feel guilty about, don't do it again because you can't change the past, you can only change the present which can affect the future.
As for your future with fish keeping, you still do have the other 2 or 3 fish. ( 3 assuming you still have the parrot.) They need care and maintenance but here's the thing, they too will not live forever so you are going to go through this again sometime in the future ( near or not too far) and only you know how well you are going to handle it. I suggest that if you can't handle it, rehome them so that they can live out their lives as best they can. Then, shut the tanks down and if you can, store them somewhere so that you have the option at a later date to come back to the hobby if you choose to. Here's what know about the fish hobby: it gets into your blood. You sometimes pass a pet store and can't help but walk in for no other reason than to reminisce about your former fish. Some time may go by and you think about going back to that store or another pet store " just to look". Then before you know it, you are thinking " I want fish again." For me, I took an almost 20 year break from fish keeping at home after I lost my hatchery to a new disease. I was devastated to say the least. What I didn't do was stay away from the hobby, I just didn't have fish at home. So I never really left the hobby, I just did it from afar in stores and warehouses. And don't ya know, one day, I got a call from a friend asking me to start breeding fish again for him and all those tanks I stored, made it inexpensive to get back into the whole operation again. It took that flicker and made it a flame. I still have some of those tanks and they are now 40-50 years old and still hold water so I can start 'em up in a heartbeat. But that's just my story. Take a look around here on AA at a number of the newest members whose introduction pages say " I'm getting back into the hobby". See, it gets into your blood and you have no control. So you always have the option to sell your tanks and your equipment but like after any loss of a pet or person, don't make any rash decisions. Give yourself a chance to heal from the loss then decide. In the meantime, make sure you maintain the fish tanks as you should only don't spend too much time in front of them. Feed the fish and walk away. Do your water changes and walk away OR, hire a maintenance company to do the maintenance and just feed the fish. See how you feel not spending a lot of time with the fish. That can help you decide.
As for bumpy, unless you hire someone to come in and take care of the fish, you are going to see the decline and eventual death. It often happens more at night but it can happen at any time. There's no getting around it unless you euthanize. Hopefully it will end for you and her swiftly.
That's the best I can tell you.

 

[Libby1]

Yes, I saw the post above tonight ( actually this morning since it's 12:30 a.m. now )
It's always a sad thing to lose a pet you've had for so long. The only real solace is that you did have her for so long. Nothing lives forever so the best you can do is keep them for their natural lives. I can't address your guilt because I only know about the last 1/10th of the conversation. All I can say about the idea of guilt is that whatever you do or did to feel guilty about, don't do it again because you can't change the past, you can only change the present which can affect the future.
As for your future with fish keeping, you still do have the other 2 or 3 fish. ( 3 assuming you still have the parrot.) They need care and maintenance but here's the thing, they too will not live forever so you are going to go through this again sometime in the future ( near or not too far) and only you know how well you are going to handle it. I suggest that if you can't handle it, rehome them so that they can live out their lives as best they can. Then, shut the tanks down and if you can, store them somewhere so that you have the option at a later date to come back to the hobby if you choose to. Here's what know about the fish hobby: it gets into your blood. You sometimes pass a pet store and can't help but walk in for no other reason than to reminisce about your former fish. Some time may go by and you think about going back to that store or another pet store " just to look". Then before you know it, you are thinking " I want fish again." For me, I took an almost 20 year break from fish keeping at home after I lost my hatchery to a new disease. I was devastated to say the least. What I didn't do was stay away from the hobby, I just didn't have fish at home. So I never really left the hobby, I just did it from afar in stores and warehouses. And don't ya know, one day, I got a call from a friend asking me to start breeding fish again for him and all those tanks I stored, made it inexpensive to get back into the whole operation again. It took that flicker and made it a flame. I still have some of those tanks and they are now 40-50 years old and still hold water so I can start 'em up in a heartbeat. But that's just my story. Take a look around here on AA at a number of the newest members whose introduction pages say " I'm getting back into the hobby". See, it gets into your blood and you have no control. So you always have the option to sell your tanks and your equipment but like after any loss of a pet or person, don't make any rash decisions. Give yourself a chance to heal from the loss then decide. In the meantime, make sure you maintain the fish tanks as you should only don't spend too much time in front of them. Feed the fish and walk away. Do your water changes and walk away OR, hire a maintenance company to do the maintenance and just feed the fish. See how you feel not spending a lot of time with the fish. That can help you decide.
As for bumpy, unless you hire someone to come in and take care of the fish, you are going to see the decline and eventual death. It often happens more at night but it can happen at any time. There's no getting around it unless you euthanize. Hopefully it will end for you and her swiftly.
That's the best I can tell you.

Thank you, Andy. Your words are very validating. And in a crazy way, comforting. I guess because you're breaking it down in a way that validates me, as well as gives me clarity on things. And hearing about your 20-year break (Wow) validates how I feel right now. I appreciate the support and I need it.

The regrets I have are just the general things we discussed, like the fact that I was so misinformed from the start regarding pairing them, and that I should have been more on top of water changes, etc. Stuff like that. I shouldn't have those regrets because it won't help me now. But like you said, I'm focusing on keeping the water quality good so I know I'm giving Bumpy and the others what they need. Sigh. And I did manage to keep them alive and happy for many years. By the way before I left on Thursday afternoon I did a 30% water change in my tank just to know I'm leaving Bumpy Fish with clean, fresh water. (and the others also obviously).

Yeah, I get very attached to my fish.. or pets. Thanks for that validation as well. No, eventually when relevant, I would not get rid of my equipment; like you said, it gets into the blood and never leaves. I don't know what I will do because right now I'm so consumed with what's happening at the moment..... so I'm just going to check the tank in the morning and see what's going on with her..... ugh. :'( breaks my heart. Like I've mentioned, she was always one of my favorites; my strongest fish, a true fighter. As for the others, gosh I dread when their time comes although I don't see myself just simply rehoming my fish; I've raised them so it's a tough thing to do as well, know what I mean? I will try what you suggested.

Yes, I have my parrot. I'm relieved to say that he's doing very well. I've been following your advice to do twice a week water changes. One week I managed only one, but I went back to twice/wk. I will have a bunch of questions to ask you regarding next moves for my parrot, etc. but not at the moment... I need this crisis to first be behind me.

Sigh!!! Gosh. This is rough and tough. Once again, I truly appreciate the time you took to validate and explain things to me. It's what I need.

 

[Libby1]

As for bumpy, unless you hire someone to come in and take care of the fish, you are going to see the decline and eventual death. It often happens more at night but it can happen at any time. There's no getting around it unless you euthanize. Hopefully it will end for you and her swiftly.
That's the best I can tell you.

She is still alive... and it hurts to see her...
I've been staying away from the tank... but am I abandoning her...? or is it okay to just let things take its natural course... because I don't know what else to do but it is absolutely breaking my heart Omg. I'm tearing up with a huge lump in my throat as I'm writing this!!! She's such a strong fish that it's taking this long.. Could it be possible that she is not actually "suffering"...? Just maybe feeling weak...?? I'm just trying to find a way to maybe numb my pain that I feel for her and if there's truth to her maybe not actually feeling pain or specific suffering, maybe I'd be able to breathe better... ughhhhh. I feel so sorry for her.. this is horrible.

 

[Andy Sager]

She is still alive... and it hurts to see her...
I've been staying away from the tank... but am I abandoning her...? or is it okay to just let things take its natural course... because I don't know what else to do but it is absolutely breaking my heart Omg. I'm tearing up with a huge lump in my throat as I'm writing this!!! She's such a strong fish that it's taking this long.. Could it be possible that she is not actually "suffering"...? Just maybe feeling weak...?? I'm just trying to find a way to maybe numb my pain that I feel for her and if there's truth to her maybe not actually feeling pain or specific suffering, maybe I'd be able to breathe better... ughhhhh. I feel so sorry for her.. this is horrible.

This is why people euthanize pets, to end their "suffering" ( but who the "their" is is the question. The person or the pet? ) . I can't really tell you why it's taking this long. Her weakness may be from hunger, from what is causing the lump or some other unknown reason. Unfortunately, the only way to rule out the last possibility is way beyond most Vet's capabilities. You can rule out a tank water issue because the other fish in the tank are not suffering. She obviously has/had a strong constitution. In the wild, she would have already been some other animal's meal.
All I can suggest is for you to do whatever you are comfortable doing.