No offense taken, but I would urge you to do some additionally research. However, you are totally free to do whatever you would like.
You are totally free to find out for yourself the hard way. After all, its your money. Just keep in mind that a few weeks or even months of success doesn't make you/it right. These fish can take a couple years to mature.
As for the 20+ cichlids in a 55, you're absolutely right. A 55 however is a 4' tank, not a 3' tank. Also, you're talking about a tank which is overstocked to reduce aggression. A 46gal tank with only a few Kenyi is no comparison.
As to the specific question, you have about the same chance of success either way ~ although you will be able to enjoy them a little longer if you introduce all smaller ones and rehome the larger one. As Lady_Alia said you should redecorate and make sure that you have plenty of hiding places for the little guys when you introduce them, and make sure you introduce several at once rather than only 2 or 3 as this will also help to reduce aggression as well.
Best of luck with your endeavor.