Hooray, l'Hotel Umbra! Now Hiring!

[LHotelUmbraQua]

Hi, everyone,

Researching the optimum set up for a new Umbra Fish Hotel, on its way by FedEx. Lots to learn, but having fun.

- 1.8 gallon tank, 7.5" cube
- Fresh water
- Aiming for 2-3 fish guests maximum, including a snail; maybe a platy; a molly.

HOTEL INTERIOR design by me: Minimalist; open space; small grand piano at corner window; one modern sectional sofa; 1-2 plants (isolated substrate area); modern abstract rug *under* the glass; modern art *behind* glass (Warhol). Possibly a 3-4" Venus de Milo miniature or live coral scupture, if the minimalist look can be maintained.

Planned hotel expansion: Rooftop observation deck (7.5" x 3" glass panel over the top rear); deck chairs; ready-to-use swimming pool; panel hiding the over-the-edge filter.

NOW HIRING: Hotel staff (freshwater)
- Housekeeper: A snail. Duties: housekeeping and maintenance. Room and board as compensation.
- Headlining entertainer: One showy, colorful fish, limited repertoire required; must get along with others, be active, and okay with a small stage (1.8 gallon; sorry, no dressing room).
- Back-up entertainer: Any colorful, smaller fish who will not upstage the headline act and not mind being #2 in a two-fish act.
- May audition husband-wife team for headliner and back-up (feel free to refer candidates). Nursery provided if needed; offspring may be sold to another hotel, so don't get too attached.
- 7-day work schedule, full-time, immediate termination and replacement upon death. Please be ready to commit to a long-running gig, and begin work the moment you arrive.
- No audition, training or special skills required; employer reserves the right of species discrimination due to the unique nature of the hotel and the particular talents needed. Your agent (I have an exclusive with LiveAquaria) may send you without notice.

Hiring the showiest, most colorful or dramatic fish as the headline act, with a life-time exclusive contract, and a guaranteed audience of one (maybe the platy). I will be working with your agent who will send you to me without notice. Travel expenses paid; no luggage or carry-ons (sorry)l your safety guaranteed or my money back.

Before live fish are ordered, everything will be in place, well-researched before hand, and the hotel up to code with a maintenance schedule. I will be the general manager, concierge, and assistant housekeeper.

- Species to be selected and confirmed by tank size, compatibility, etc.
- All equipment, supplies, accessories ready; filter, lighting (minimal) and temp control operational
- Water as conditioned and ready as I can get it.

L'Hotel Umbraqua's soft opening will be scheduled once the tank is fully ready to support live fish; Grand Opening to be scheduled once furnishings, lighting, and art, and logistics are in place.

 

[Aiken Drum]

Im sorry, but a tank of less than 2 gallons isnt really suitable for any fish. The fish you are looking at would need 10 gallons so about 5x bigger than what you are buying. Even a single betta would want 3g minimum, preferably 5g.

Cool looking tank, but its not suitable for fish and I see way too many problems down the line if you try to keep fish in there. Maybe a snail and shrimp tank?

 

[Aiken Drum]

Been looking at reviews etc of this tank. All the positive reviews are based on its appearance only, all the negative reviews are based on its unsuitability to keep fish in and difficulty to actually maintain. I agree with everything said in this unboxing video.

https://youtu.be/KEIlJ1GlaO4

You will also need a heater and filter. I suppose a desk lamp would suffice for lighting.

If you are dead set on keeping a fish in there, stick to a single betta.

 

[LHotelUmbraQua]

Aiken,

I truly appreciate your thoughtful response.

I went into this knowing that I would need to thoroughly vet my container’s compatibility to sustain life in such a small space. I have also read enough to know a] there will be very solid opinions (like yours) contrary to my plan; and b] there are enough credible reports of 1 gal. bowls’ ability to keep fish, that *some* type of fish life will be able to do fine.

Of course, I would love a long-running hit show, but as this is more of an out of town tryout, and the script is very sketchy, I will have to find some troopers who are pretty versatile with a good résumé, who are talented enough to “make this show their own.” I as the producer will consider it a success if I keep my audience happy (me), and I have no intention of hauling unknown talent onto some outdoor desert stage, not taking care of them, and abandoning them to the dogs in the Black Hills while I drive my portable hotel back to Rapid City.

The challenge will be in selection of life (first) that be fine in the space, volume, and environment I will create (and improvise and revise as I create the plan).

This project will be about a] planning; b] learning and taking notes and metrics like temp, pH; c] being responsible and disciplined and methodical about my approach; d] sharing my experience with the qua-munity.

I did not find any detailed negative reviews of Umbra, so I thank you for the link. I will research and plan before going live.

I have reached out to Teddy Luong, the designer (and prize winner) of the Umbra, to get more details about it. For instance, I will only know the true interior dimensions of the tank after I measure it. The only dimensions I’ve found are exterior (7.5” sq c 8.5” H).

I really need to know the true liquid volume of l’hotel UmbraQua before hiring any talent, and the type of show will have to depend on the venue; its technical equipment; the performing skills of available talent; and their ability to collaborate (or at least tolerate each other and not interfere with each others’ act).

Another possibility is to eventually try a larger volume tank, and build a similar Umbra shell around it (or just on two sides). I can keep the 1.8 gal. for other uses.

And if I have to settle for just one fish, I will be thrilled, as long as I know I can keep it alive.

 

[LHotelUmbraQua]

Aiken,

Just saw the video.

One thing I should make clear is that *no* number or species of fish will be hired who are too active for such a small swim area. Only fish suitable for *all* aspects of the environment.

As for heating and lighting, I will also have a period of *very carefully* monitored and documented temperatures, so I have the technical equipment that is proven for this tank, and a long enough testing period that I have metrics consistent enough to demonstrate to a skeptic that the fish I plan to buy can live here well.