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I believe the easiest way is that females will have blue coloration inside the black spot on their sides while males do not. There's also some differences in other colorations and body shape. Here's a link that covers it- http://www.aquaticcommunity.com/cichlid/germanblueram.php
Is the same tank as your Apistos? I've heard that a single Ram can be bullied by another pair of Dwarf Cichlids. I'm not certain...but it's definitely info I have heard mentioned numerous times.