On jack ds look at the lower jaw/cheek the bottom third females have colour and the males dont just like pink and when there bigger males will be around a third bigger with more colouring
Both of mine hide, male worse than female. The fry I had (up until they were about a year about 5" long) were all very friendly. But my older ones will hide the second they think you are coming to the tank.
They both look male to me just going off of the coloring of the gill plate. If u really want to know, catch and "vent" them
By the coloring they look make to me too. My female isn't as colorful as either of those. I don't know about the jaw coloring or whatever. I didn't know mine apart til they mad babies.