hassled over fish?

[tropicfishman]

now this is gonna sound odd, but has anyone else been hassled over keeping fish as pets and/ or spending alot of your time and money on them, I don't mena just nagging from a aloved one or friend but hassled to the point that it hurts your feelings, or am I the only one? my parents and friends have been giving me a really hard time about keeping fish, they say I waste my money and time and that its not " manly " to keep fish, I mean its insane, I work hard for al iving, its my choice what I spend my money on and time when I'm not working, sorry I had to get that off my chest, it really bothers me for some reason

 

[Guest]

I've been hassled enough with other stuff I have done to know what you are talking about, but the way I see it is when those people are stressing out about something that is trivial I can always just sit back and watch the fish and not have a care in the world! Hang in there, like you said its your choice to do what you want.

 

[Zagz]

IMO people don't understand this hobby if they aren't in it. They don't understand the relaxation and the addiction that comes with it. I also quite often find that when others complain because you have something that you love to do, it is because something is lacking in their own lives. Sour grapes if you will. I pay people no nevermind, it gives me peace. Life is short, you'll never get out alive, so you might as well do what you love to do, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else. You should be proud to not fit into a "category" of manly, or not. Walking to your own beat and following your heart is the most manly thing you can do. I have the utmost respect for the men I know that have a heart and compassion. Ok I'm getting off my soap box now.

 

[tropicfishman]

you guys sure know how to pick up an a guy when he's down, Zagz you put it well at the end abou tthe guys with hear and compasion, alot of people look at how my upper body is completely covered in tattoos, or my long blue gotee and think i'm a thug, but honestly, I'm just a huge softy, thye don't call me the gothic teddy bear for nuttin lol

 

[Laser]

Anyone who would argue that fish keeping isn't manly obviously has a narrow perspective. Are we only supposed to watch sports, hunt, and drink beers with the guys? Maybe if you only kept fish which fed on live fish it would be more manly. Seriously, I can't believe that your friends and your parents are giving you a hard time about it.

 

[tropicfishman]

you and me both, they weren't mad about me dropping a few grand in a partial body suit, but if I spend 30 bucks on a fish supply, its like I burned the money or something

 

[hsherman1986]

i have people look at me funny when I talk about my tanks, but there is nothing i love more than to sit back, relax, and watch my tanks when i get home from work (i work nights at TGI Friday's as a server).

If they don't like it, too bad. Its your money, its your hobby. Everyone has their quirks/addictions. Fish is ours.

(i hate people sometimes too)

 

[Alshain]

This gave me quite a laugh. I know this guy at work, he watches sports, drives a truck, smokes like crazy, drinks on his off hours, hunts, has a deep voice... just about as close as you can get to the "manly" stereotype really. Oh, did I mention he owns a 100 gallon saltwater tank?

 

[plecoperson]

Oh, that is so crazy. I dunno about anyone else, but when I go to the LFS it's usually a tattooed guy with a bike that nets them little critters out of the tank for me.

When someone talks about the money I spend on whatever, I can usually find something they do as a hobby or just for pleasure (golf, cars, nice clothes, travel, eating out, collecting ugly figurines etc.) that I don't do. Life is to be enjoyed, and everyone spends their money on something that's not essential but that they love.

Send 'em our way-we'll give them what for----

 

[noncentric]

Wouldn't really call it "hassled", but some people I know think it's a waste of my money to buy test kits/medications, a waste of time to test the water, and a waste of time to do water changes if the water doesn't 'look' dirty.

These are the old-schoolers that keep 2 goldfish in a 10-gal or do water changes only once a month (and then do a near 100% change). Odd though, their fish actually do well - which is probably what reinforces their belief that my 'maintenance' is unnecessary.

Ah well...to each their own.

 

[Fishyfanatic]

I hear it all the time that I spend too much money on the tanks. One of my friends has a 29 gal tank and she thinks I'm weird because I chat on a fish website. But then again I think she's nuts because she has 6 goldfish, 2 plecos, and 2 sharks in her tank. To each their own.

 

[roka64]

This hobby has taught me to appreciate/respect all life. I even bought a Flowering Wild Cherry tree, a few weeks ago. Well it took a little while but turned brown and the leaves started falling off. I was worried about it, what ME worried about a TREE!?!?!? It has taught me to listen better, and that I don't know everything. It has taught me patience, responsibility and a little about fish.
You will find people tend to mock or make fun of/fear things they are not familiar with.
Well, that is my rany.
Most important, you are who YOU are, no one casn make you be otherwise. Stick to it and do your own thing!

 

[justrelax]

i think in a world that has turned into a fast-paced, want it now, want it big, want the best, won't wait party; aquarists are going to be the people that all these nay-sayers turn to when they finally have an anyeurism and need something to chill out! seriously though, i also spend almost all my budgeted spending money on this hobby. the way i see it, i could be out doing much, much worse things with my cash than buying fish! i think people who spend so much time nagging me (or others) about this hobby are probably just unhappy with some aspect of their lives and are trying to make themselves feel better at my expense. so, you know what? i smile and go buy more fish...

 

[malkore]

When someone starts hassling me about my aquariums, I quickly switch topics to one of my other hobbies...usually target shooting handguns, or how I'm building an AR15 rifle (an M-16 that isn't full auto).

This usually quiets them down. I don't make any threats...but when you get non-gun enthusiasts backed into a corner a little with talk of how much fun you have shooting paper targets, they shut up.


Normally I'm not a fan of intimidation, or even implied intimidation...but when people stop respecting me and how I live my life, well the gloves come off

 

[verucaproduce]

Funny. The only people I know in real life that keep tanks are all MEN. Manly men.

 

[mr funktastic]

alot of my friends make fun of me for having a fish tank and my parents constantly tell me that i am wasting my money but i just look at them and say "so smaking isnt wasting your money? wow i am glad that my fish arnt slowly killing me" and then they stop talking. then they mention it again and ask why would u spemd 15 dollars on a fish and i saw to my friend why would u spend $130 on a pair of jeans when i buy mine for only 25? i find it frusturating that the only people i can talk to fish about are u guys on this site. i try to tell my friend that my cichlid is holding for the first time ever and they look at me like i am sick. i come on here and say that and people are like thats awesome and good for u. but the second i start talking about my other hobbies to them like go karting, bike building, rock climbing, andthing that they consider manly they are all for a conversation. lol compared to hear where u can talk about all that stuff AND fish and its normal. man i could rant about this for hours. well i totally get what u are sayin tropicfishman. i get the same problems as u all the time. hey u gotta pic of all your tattos? that would be sweet.

 

[Zagz]

I have 2 tattoos and my husband has several and know the stigma that comes with them. I ignore those people. Narrow things for narrow minds IMO.

 

[MattAquaBio]

Lol i just turned 18, if i talk to pretty much anyone my age about fish they get that real bored look in their eyes and kind of just sit there, so of course i dont talk to anyone about fish except for people that like fish to begin with lol. I've had that happen a couple of times. My friends pickin at me for keeping tanks and stuff and then they come over and see them and are mesmorized, its suddenly not as lame or girly lol.
When i first started working out two years ago i was 130 lbs with a max bench of like 120. I started working out with a fella from the gym and over time we'd talked and he knew i liked fish and stuff. I told him he had to come see my aquarium sometime, he did, said it would be cool to have his own. I suggested he get one but he said he coudlnt take care of it "wouldnt know how". So we made a compromise. The day i benched 200 lbs was the day he had to go to the store and buy a 10 gal set up and a couple fish.
He's had his tank for a year now, but now he owns 3 tanks, a 100 gal included. It spread like wildfire at my gym to lol. We have an aquarium on the check in desk now to lol.
I guess all these guys at the gym are girly now .

 

[newfound77951]

THIS IS WHY THIS FORUM IS AWESOME!!!

I hope we all helped, Tropicfishman. I do some pretty non-girly things (drive a truck, sail, went to school to learn how to design boats - 1 year with me a 53 other students, all male), and while I have been hassled a little about it, unfortunately there is a much bigger stigma on men being supposedly "girly" than on women being "manly". My boyfriend gets mistaken for a woman on the phone all the time (and hates it, but what can he do??). He is also equally at home mending his jeans or re-covering a chair as he is rewiring the trailer hitch on my truck. As far as I'm concerned, gender stereotypes in this day and age should be out the window, but unfortunately they aren't, yet.

Thanks to everyone who shared their experiences in this post. I hope they help tropicfishman and many other people dealing with the same issues. And again, we all know that if we have a problem, our good buddies here at AA will help us out!

Oh, and between myself and the 4 other people here at school with me that have fishtanks, we have 4 planted tanks (2, 5.5, 35 and 55 gallons), 2 african cichlid tanks (both 55), 2 SW reefs (1 12 gal nano-reef, and a 30), and a turtle. 3 of the planted tanks are mine, the rest belong to 4 "manly" but very sweet guys. We all went up to Boston for a fish show and had a blast. Tell me that didn't get some weird looks from our non-fish friends!

 

[Tolak]

90% of the members of the local aquatics society are men. The club shuts down for the summer because most are in construction, or other outdoor trades & have little time for fish. They are for the most part quite the opposite of what folks would picture as fish geeks.

We have our larger events at a VFW hall, mainly for the price, but also because they have a couple of tv's in the bar, and serve alcohol. Anyone wondering about the "manliness" of aquarists should show up at one of these events.

I've been in the printing trade for 27 years, little pudgy guys either don't last long or get in shape quick slinging tons of paper daily. Every shop I've worked is full of big duded with tats, piercings, beards, you name it. You would be surprised how many keep fish. It's also funny how many have smaller terrier size dogs, not "manly" rotts & pits. Real men don't need to constantly reaffirm their manliness to the world, they are confident enough to do what makes them feel good without worrying about the opinions of others.

Besides keeping wimpy fish, I enjoy defensive pistolcraft, reloading to feed the guns, play evil heavy metal guitar, and do martial arts 8 or 9 months out of the year. My body needs 3 or 4 months to heal out of 12.