Accosting people in the LFS
- Thread starter Menagerie
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julicat
Aquarium Advice Regular
Wondering if anyone has ever done the wild thing in a fish store does not make me a pottyhead.
And I did say earlier that happening into a conversation with another fish store patron, sharing information and enthusiasm, as Menagerie did, is great.
I think one thing clear is that fish stores frequently (by no means always...just often) have overworked or not-fully-informed or not-fully-interested staff. The person that suddenly came up and appreciated how hard it is to catch rummy-nose tetras...the patron that recognised I view salt-water fishkeeping as rocket science and then tried to persuade me otherwise... novice fishkeepers (like me) need a lot of guidance and I bet most novices are kind of going it alone. Family and friends do not share or fully understand the novice's interest. The novice is in the fish store privately feeling like s/he is less knowledgeable than all the other patrons floating around the store. Suddenly another human being strikes up a conversation or answers a question AND freely shares information...it's the best!
However, if someone is in a fish store to get fish AND that same someone is looking for love in life, any cute anyone of the desired gender coming up and sharing excitement about a hobby and being warm and friendly...someone lookin' for love can easily construe that as at least a possible opening. Nothing we can do about that.
If an attractive warm interesting someone handed me wrote down a website so that I might learn more about the hobby of fishkeeping, and it had never occurred to me such sites might exist, AND I was lookin' for love, I might be confused.
Life is like this. We work it out every day.
And I did say earlier that happening into a conversation with another fish store patron, sharing information and enthusiasm, as Menagerie did, is great.
I think one thing clear is that fish stores frequently (by no means always...just often) have overworked or not-fully-informed or not-fully-interested staff. The person that suddenly came up and appreciated how hard it is to catch rummy-nose tetras...the patron that recognised I view salt-water fishkeeping as rocket science and then tried to persuade me otherwise... novice fishkeepers (like me) need a lot of guidance and I bet most novices are kind of going it alone. Family and friends do not share or fully understand the novice's interest. The novice is in the fish store privately feeling like s/he is less knowledgeable than all the other patrons floating around the store. Suddenly another human being strikes up a conversation or answers a question AND freely shares information...it's the best!
However, if someone is in a fish store to get fish AND that same someone is looking for love in life, any cute anyone of the desired gender coming up and sharing excitement about a hobby and being warm and friendly...someone lookin' for love can easily construe that as at least a possible opening. Nothing we can do about that.
If an attractive warm interesting someone handed me wrote down a website so that I might learn more about the hobby of fishkeeping, and it had never occurred to me such sites might exist, AND I was lookin' for love, I might be confused.
Life is like this. We work it out every day.
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Menagerie
Aquarium Advice Addict
I found myself in a different LFS and actually helped someone!! There was a man and his two girls trying to find compatable fish. I helped someone!! What a concept!
medge00
Aquarium Advice FINatic
you know I was thinking...
we all have stories about being picked up on in a lfs, or trying to help someone...
How many of us have tried to pickup someone in a lfs?
Could be a good idea if its a good store... they like fish, you like fish. you both spend lots of time around tanks and equipment....
we all have stories about being picked up on in a lfs, or trying to help someone...
How many of us have tried to pickup someone in a lfs?
Could be a good idea if its a good store... they like fish, you like fish. you both spend lots of time around tanks and equipment....
I don't think I've found myself on either end of a situation like any mentioned so far but this is an interesting conversation... I'm kind of wondering now what some people might think of me when I go to the fish dept at walmart... I'm really too shy most of the time to strike up a conversation but sometimes I go to the fish section just to see if someone has questions... most of the time people come and go doing nothing more than looking but there's a part of me that just wants to say "can I help you with anything" or something like that. I want to pass out cards with the link to this site and advise them as to what fish to get or not get or say "if you're going to buy from any of those tanks you better bring home some of this ich medecine..." But most of the time I don't hear a question so I don't answer... but Sometimes I just hang out for a while just hoping I'll happen upon someone that needs my help... I wonder if any of the employees or customers think I'm some sort of weirdo pacing around watching everyone... I'm sure I'm not the only one that does this, right? right??? 
poikilotherm
Aquarium Advice Activist
Menagerie said
But you do that every day here... no, make that about thirty times a day...
I know it's easier here, where people come here asking questions than in a store, where you have to volunteer your advice. Still, don't sell yourself short, Menagerie!
But you do that every day here... no, make that about thirty times a day...
I know it's easier here, where people come here asking questions than in a store, where you have to volunteer your advice. Still, don't sell yourself short, Menagerie!
smallfry
Aquarium Advice FINatic
I was in Petsmart (without my husband) in the checkout line with my new Cherry Barbs....and a guy behind me was TRYING to start up conversation. He was a bit TOO observant and standing uncomfortably close....noticing my Harley checks, he says "so, you ride?"....well without being totally rude I couldn't just ignore him, so I step away a few inches and say yes....he rambled on for another 10 minutes....then his eye catches the Cherry Barbs...."what kind of fish are those"? Without thinking that he may misconstrue my answer, I reply with an honest "those are Cherry Barbs"....well he LOVED that answer!!!! 8O 
:? Bleh! Anyway I got sooooo by his reaction to my reply that I made a hasty retreat making sure he wasn't following me.
Yikes!
:? Bleh! Anyway I got sooooo by his reaction to my reply that I made a hasty retreat making sure he wasn't following me. Yikes!
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Menagerie
Aquarium Advice Addict
Icky!! Do you wear a ring? I find it comes in handy.
For those without jewels--it still works, you just don't have to mention your sig other is a cat/dog/pet rock/car/etc.
"Oh!? These little fish are my significant other's favorites!" While saying that talk with your hands in exaggerated movements
For those without jewels--it still works, you just don't have to mention your sig other is a cat/dog/pet rock/car/etc.
smallfry
Aquarium Advice FINatic
I mentioned that I ride WITH my husband....and yes I had my ring on.....didn't seem to matter.....
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Menagerie
Aquarium Advice Addict
Some people just don't get the hint 
tbonem91
Aquarium Advice FINatic
"can't live with 'em; can't live without 'em"
I must admit I do my fair share of flirting but I try to keep it out of the fish store as the people I tend to meet aren't of the type I tend to flirt with....
I must admit I do my fair share of flirting but I try to keep it out of the fish store as the people I tend to meet aren't of the type I tend to flirt with....
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Menagerie
Aquarium Advice Addict
Harmless flirting is welcomed, but invade my space or continue after a reference is made about a significant other and you're done.
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Menagerie
Aquarium Advice Addict
No. How do you get that out of what I wrote 
Honestly, flirting can come from anyone, provided it is HARMLESS, my space is not invaded and the flirter does not badger the flirtee.
Honestly, flirting can come from anyone, provided it is HARMLESS, my space is not invaded and the flirter does not badger the flirtee.
tbonem91
Aquarium Advice FINatic
badger is such a good verb
OP
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Menagerie
Aquarium Advice Addict
It really is!
smallfry
Aquarium Advice FINatic
I had a nice post and just deleted it by accident....grr
Anyway...I do agree with Menagerie, but I will also concede to the men's view point...just a little.
(Here's where I was going to apologetically admit that in my situation, I was quite dressed up because I had gone straight from work to the Pet Store....but then I thought, why should I apologize for looking NICE????)
I will say that us women like to know we are admired...(if we are honest with ourselves). However, we just don't like to be scared or freaked out...so when it comes to flirting, a LITTLE goes a long way. Plus when I make obvious references to my husband to a COMPLETE STRANGER....I expect him to respect that. Friends is one thing....but someone who doesn't know me??? It doesn't make a man seem more appealing and it certainly doesn't motivate me to stick around...even for friendly conversation! (especially in his case)
OH and I forgot to say that he also said my Cherry Barbs would be good dinner for his Piranha!!!!! 8O (talk about adding insult to injury)
Anyway...I do agree with Menagerie, but I will also concede to the men's view point...just a little.
(Here's where I was going to apologetically admit that in my situation, I was quite dressed up because I had gone straight from work to the Pet Store....but then I thought, why should I apologize for looking NICE????)
I will say that us women like to know we are admired...(if we are honest with ourselves). However, we just don't like to be scared or freaked out...so when it comes to flirting, a LITTLE goes a long way. Plus when I make obvious references to my husband to a COMPLETE STRANGER....I expect him to respect that. Friends is one thing....but someone who doesn't know me??? It doesn't make a man seem more appealing and it certainly doesn't motivate me to stick around...even for friendly conversation! (especially in his case)
OH and I forgot to say that he also said my Cherry Barbs would be good dinner for his Piranha!!!!! 8O (talk about adding insult to injury)
I can't believe you didn't succumb to the piranha line smallfry. It always works for me (right after what's your sign). *LOL*
Flirting is such a part of being human. I think all men and women enjoy being both the flirter and flirtee. It's actually a great indicator of someones social and people skills. It also speaks volumes about self confidence. JMO.
Flirting is such a part of being human. I think all men and women enjoy being both the flirter and flirtee. It's actually a great indicator of someones social and people skills. It also speaks volumes about self confidence. JMO.
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