Leaving

[Judge92]

I'm leaving this forum and finding another one. Sure some of you are knowledgeable and sure some of you genuinely want to help. But there are others who don't help me the way they should. Like not giving me all the information. Or most recently not bothering to respond to any of my threads in the past week.

When things aren't going right and you're new to aquariums, you want as much help as possible and as much information as possible. When you don't get any information you're basically stranded and have no idea what to do.

Not only that but when you talk to someone who is completely new to the whole hobby, you shouldn't say things like "no, you're wrong" or "yea well whatever you can keep thinking that" and be an [moderator edit] If you want to be helpful, do it in a nice way and explain everything for us new people who don't have a clue.

I hope things change.

 

[Mark Hewitt]

But look at it from the other side of the fence. Someone posts "I have XYZ" problem. And a forum member says "You need to do 123 to fix it", then the response is "No I don't think that's right at all". You can expect to be told you're wrong!

 

[novaheat]

I personally subscribe to more than one forum. As for what is right or wrong, in the short time I have been working with Aquariums I have found there are widely varying opinions This is not just on forums. I have books that contradict each other. It seems as if some things are like vehicles. What is better Ford or Chevy? However, some things are clear cut Oscars do not belong in a tank with Guppies.
As to responses, I have found this site to be much more responsive than the first site I joined. If I don’t know something I don’t respond. I look for two things in a forum knowledgeable members and not being insulted if you post a newbie question. I have been in IT for 15 years, BS in CIS and MS in MIS. I did not wake up knowing what I know today and must remember I started not knowing the difference between RAM and a CPU.

Just my two cents worth, which is not worth much when it comes to aquariums. Where does the water go?
Take care
NovaHeat

 

[Judge92]

But look at it from the other side of the fence. Someone posts "I have XYZ" problem. And a forum member says "You need to do 123 to fix it", then the response is "No I don't think that's right at all". You can expect to be told you're wrong!

My point is that for the most part people dont say "you need to do 123 to fix it". It's more like "Well you're doing everything wrong."

This isn't directed at you. I thank you for apologizing as well.

EDIT: Just because I said "well this is what I know" others shouldn't just keep putting it down without an explaination. New hobbyists deserve explainations and help.

 

[neilanh]

We're sorry your experience has been like this Judge. With any community that is set around a hobby you're going to get varied opinions and even flat out differences of opinions. I wish we could've been more helpful to you here.

I think that what you'll learn as you progress in this hobby is there is no single way to do things right - different folks have different experiences from trying different things and gain their knowledge from those; and because of that is why you get varied opinions from various folks.

People do what they can to help here, and from reading through some of your threads I can understand your frustrations. We are a very large community here with a very large mix of different peoples which leads to different things, of course.

I hope you'll reconsider staying with us. We do have a very large and very knowledgable member base here that I think can be helpful to you. But, if you do decide to leave, I wish you the best of luck on your endeavers in this hobby.

 

[Judge92]

That's the problem there is this big "dry spell" where I don't get any help and then now I get people actually responding and very helpful people too.

I guess I was just trying to find a way to vent my frustrations. Especially when I've had so much happen in the past week.

 

[HN1]

I'm sorry you've had that experience here. I can't recall any of your threads off the top of my head, but will go look so that I can speak to specifics. Sometimes threads do go unanswered, sometimes the people with the specific knowledge don't see them, sometimes the only responses come from members that are newer and may not be able to provide a complete answer or possibly lack the confidence to put it out there. Just speculating...

I will say that if you choose to stay and ever don't feel like a question of your's is receiving due attention, PM me. I may not be able to help directly, but I can always bug someone else for you! I usually read the boards by New posts and if I've had a busy day, weekend, week, may not see a lot of them. I do try to key in on threads with zero or few replies. My experiences on other forums has been what keeps me right here for the majority of my time. I'd rather someone say "no, that's wrong. Try this" then blow smoke to keep everything "happy" and end up costing someone money, fish, etc. because of a fear of speaking the truth. I do understand the frustrations though and wish you the best of luck regardless of your choices.

 

[cabezon]

I'd appreciate it if you weren't an [moderator edit]. I am just going by what the chart says so if that makes me wrong then whatever. Thank you for your suggestion.

And I never said "its not a problem due to my ph" I said "according to the chart the ammonia isnt toxic because of my ph" and that's as much as I knew since no one wanted to respond to me.

I think this would be a problem. That and jacking Mandy's stocking thread. people don't really like being called names because they gave you the proper advice and you didn't want to listen.

 

[Judge92]

I was listening and the reactions to me was just telling me "i was wrong" when, like I said before, I am simply stating what I know. And I've addressed the "jacking of his thread", I didn't. I was trying to get more information for both of us and giving my opinion as well. If that counts as stealing it then whatever.

Did you even read what they said to me? It wasn't exactly in the nicest way. So it's also people like you who ruin it for people like me and new people.

Then you get people like HN1 and neilanh who are helpful.

 

[cabezon]

people like me?

 

[Judge92]

You're the one who said I "didn't listen" when I am listening and the whole issue is the way that some people give new members advice. In other words, not in a good way.

 

[HN1]

Let's remember that it is VERY easy to misunderstand or mis-interpret text on a forum. There are subtleties that just don't transfer well and I've seen that fact lead to a lot of "bickering" simply because emotions are tough to portray in a post. Some posts may sound curt or short, but could be someone in a hurry in real life that wants to make a reply to help. I've found it best in my cases to just ignore the majority and focus on those that contain substance. A short post does bump your thread and allow more folks to see it so even those short posts can be helpful. One on one conversation will always be more valuable IMO to forum posts so if you read something that sounds mean or whatever, it's almost always best to shoot that person a PM and say "Hey, did you really mean it like I read it?". Most of the times, I think you'll be surprised by the response.

I've made many a post that have simply come out wrong or were read in a different tone than what I intended. It happens... Smilies can only go so far.

 

[BigJim]

Sorry to hear about your frustration Judge.

Like HN1 said, try bumping your post if you're not getting answers. I know I miss posts because they get buried under a flood of other new posts and I don't get on here much during the weekend.

If you're getting frustrated, PM someone you think might be able to help. If I don't have any further constructive input for a thread, I don't comment, but if I get a PM with a question, I definitely respond, even if it's just to say "I don't know" and offer a suggestion of where you might start looking for an answer. Your AA mods and mentors should all be willing to respond to questions.

Also, contact us if you're experiencing rude or obnoxious people here. There's absolutely no reason everyone can't keep a civil tongue in their heads or polite fingers on their hands.

 

[meegosh]

What thread are we talking about, specifically? I'm lost here. I looked through most of your threads that you started and it looks like you have some good feedback. Maybe I am missing something though...

 

[Judge92]

Meegosh: After I bumped my thread a couple of times I started to get some replies just today. I was just getting extremely frustrated these past few days with issues I've been having with the tank. And just general stocking questions.

 

[swankyspoon]

I am sorry you have had such a unhappy experience on AA. As a beginner, I have found this site extremely helpful and the experienced members helpful (most notably when I came somewhat close to electrocuting myself late at night). I must confess there is one suggestion made by one of the most helpful members HN1, that I could not follow (that a 10g could not house Serpae tetras - for various reasons they are my first pet and though I think they would do better in a 20 g+, it is not the same as putting a common pleco in a 10 g. My wife and I are just too attached to our Serpae...) Anyways, I am rambling. Good luck finding a forum with which you are happier!

 

[swankyspoon]

My point is that I am a newbie, and I do not share your view of this forum.

Example:

12:10 AM(!) - Swankyspoon discovers his heater is acting strangely, but is not certain how serious the situation is.

12:18 AM (!) - Fisheggs responds explaining nicely explaining the seriousness of the situation, and how to remedy it.

12:18 AM (!) Jsoong seconds Fisheggs' opinion that the situation is indeed serious and needs to be resolved quickly.

12:27 (!) Swankyspoon, having unplugged the heater, thanks Jsoong and Fisheggs (and adds to their reputation), asks what caused the problem.

12:58 (!) Fisheggs responds explaining it is a manufacturers' malfunction and not Swankyspoon's fault.

Moreover, the next day Swankyspoon receives more advice on how his fish will do for a few days without a heater, and which heater to buy as a replacement.

All of this help in the middle of the night, from people who have nothing to gain, and are just helping for the love of the hobby. They were all very nice to me. I would happily recommend this site to someone else starting out!

 

[neilanh]

I appreciate all the feedback going on in this thread, and I do hope that Judge is appreciating it as well.

That being said, we will not tolerate personal attacks on this forum and as such I've deleted a few posts. Please keep your posts civil.

 

[Judge92]

Thank you neilanh, in fact I was just about to contact you because of a certain rude person. You're right I do appreciate that people are actually out there who do want to help.

What I just want to get across to everyone is that as a new member I have had some issues recently with my tank that I feel or thought needed to be resolved as quickly as possible. When I have nowhere else to get the info from (I'd rather get info from people with experience) I ask here and from my past posts I get fairly quick responses...not days apart responses.

So, swankyspoon, you're right this forum is great and I have had a few threads that turn out just like what you mentioned.

 

[melosu58]

Just so we know according to our site rules bumping threads is not allowed. You can read that at the bottom of the page where it says "community rules". Now to get to the heart of the problem. We dont want to see anyone leave here at AA. Just from reading the post I think I understand. Everyone has the right to post their opinion or experience on the boards here. It`s up to the OP as to what he will take and what he will disregard. As mentioned earlier sometimes we try to ply our feelings in the thread when all we need to do is accept the advice or dont accept it. I`m seeing cursing and flaming and we just dont allow it. State your question or your answer and move on. Hopefully you`ll find your answers . This site has a pretty good bunch of folks that I consider knowledgeable.