I feel horrible after hearing this "horror" tank setup :/

[Fish_lover]

Tell her that you will help her pay for a bigger tank , heaters , and filters , and all that ther stuff and than she can get a betta for the 5 gallon so she doesn't just have an empty tank sitting around lol

 

[mariah]

You know.. it wouldn't be a bad idea to send her the link to that aqadvisor stocking. Best course of action imho.

I took a screen shot of all those warnings.. ill send her that and the bala sharks need a 70g.. is that for a group of 3? I want to tell her if those fish even live what size tank she needs

 

[mariah]

Tell her that you will help her pay for a bigger tank , heaters , and filters , and all that ther stuff and than she can get a betta for the 5 gallon so she doesn't just have an empty tank sitting around lol

Haha uh no... i don't have money to be buying her things.

 

[rpgmomma8404]

OP you handle that a lot better then I would have. I jumped onto my best friend about not researching fish before she gets them. Love her like a sister but I swear she needs to try learning how to use google.

 

[mariah]

OP you handle that a lot better then I would have. I jumped onto my best friend about not researching fish before she gets them. Love her like a sister but I swear she needs to try learning how to use google.

Haha i held a lot back. She is family and takes things way to personal and i don't want her to be mad at me... i don't want to mess up the relationship over this. Its a gift from her bf also... i don't want to be the huge downer. I am going to kind of tell her in a funny way that her tank is 1000% over stocked lol

 

[frank98284]

This makes me sad for the poor fish and makes me mad that someone would sell them these fish how could a person be that stupid. And how can people be that hard headed not to listen to advice from a person who cares so much about their fish I care about my fish and would kick someone's *** if they messed with them. So my advice is for get it i would not even talk to her she does not even care or give a sh t about those fish

 

[mariah]

This makes me sad for the poor fish and makes me mad that someone would sell them these fish how could a person be that stupid. And how can people be that hard headed not to listen to advice from a person who cares so much about their fish I care about my fish and would kick someone's *** if they messed with them. So my advice is for get it i would not even talk to her she does not even care or give a sh t about those fish

That's what i am thinking... it is EXTREMELY FRUSTRATING! i am not saying i am perfect in no way when it comes to my fish. Its sad to say but if family problems come up i do that before i do a fish water change. I should be doing water changes every 5 days but i do them every week or maybe 8 days :/ I really try. I have 5 tanks and it take me like 4-5 hours each time to do the water change. I clean the lids and make them look nice lol. I am thinking of maybe down sizing... it just frustrates me because those fish didn't have a choice... they have no say and i KNOW she doesn't do water changes. Not even for the turtle. I have all my fish in proper tanks and bigger filters then needed... i don't know

 

[rpgmomma8404]

Haha i held a lot back. She is family and takes things way to personal and i don't want her to be mad at me... i don't want to mess up the relationship over this. Its a gift from her bf also... i don't want to be the huge downer. I am going to kind of tell her in a funny way that her tank is 1000% over stocked lol

Yeah I know what you mean. It's hard not to want to say something.

 

[mariah]

Yeah I know what you mean. It's hard not to want to say something.

Very!!! I just asked her how the fish are... she said good. I then asked what the fish was that is with the turtle and she said Irrigesent shark.. i just asked how he/she is doing and if its getting big... i am pretty positive its bound to be dead... they can't live with almost a full grown turtle can they? In a small tank

 

[mariah]

Very!!! I just asked her how the fish are... she said good. I then asked what the fish was that is with the turtle and she said Irrigesent shark.. i just asked how he/she is doing and if its getting big... i am pretty positive its bound to be dead... they can't live with almost a full grown turtle can they? In a small tank

Apparently she is still alive.. be about 3-5 months i would say.. how's that even far that its still alive? I don't get it :/

 

[rpgmomma8404]

Apparently she is still alive.. be about 3-5 months i would say.. how's that even far that its still alive? I don't get it :/

Some fish can survive in just about anything but it's just that surviving. Not thriving or anything. I'm in a fish group on facebook and some of the pictures of some of the rescues people take in are horrible.

Depending on the type of turtle it will probably leave it alone. It the turtle a red-ear slider? I don't know too much about them but I think they can do okay with fish. My mom had a common snapper and he just got way to mean for her to keep him. Would would of destroyed anything put in the tank.

 

[mariah]

Some fish can survive in just about anything but it's just that surviving. Not thriving or anything. I'm in a fish group on facebook and some of the pictures of some of the rescues people take in are horrible.

Depending on the type of turtle it will probably leave it alone. It the turtle a red-ear slider? I don't know too much about them but I think they can do okay with fish. My mom had a common snapper and he just got way to mean for her to keep him. Would would of destroyed anything put in the tank.

Yes i know its probably fighting for its life. I have no idea what turtle it is... its all green lol. A common turtle. I just talked to my cousin.... asked if her fish was growing and she said yes.. i then said mins are at the state where they grow slower (cichlids they are now like 3 inches) and then she said "stunted, to many in the tank?"... that made me mad lol. But i said now i was under stocked for them and just said it was like 89% stocked even though its not. She then said wow that's a lot... i then said staying under 100% is what you have to do (dumb it down a bit) and said hers is 968% over stocked... she then said "NOT EVEN CLOSE!".... :/ i said that's what a thing on a fish website says once i put the fish in. She said "no its not they are babies". Just to throw in some words she doesn't know i said its based on the bio load... and now she is saying its not that over stocked. I just said"well 968% stocked and 868% over stocked" .... :/

 

[Jbrock]

You are gutting this entire forum by posting this saga. If someone is willfully choosing to be that ignorant and CLEARLY does not value your word/advice, why do you value that relationship? Sure this seems like a small issue but what does it say about how much she respects you and your advice as a friend/sister whatever the relationship is? You're afraid to be abrupt with her? Sounds like she NEEDS a rude awakening. Sure things like this happen 1000's of times a day...but that doesn't mean you should give her a pass. It's not even as if she's barely over stocked...

 

[mariah]

You are gutting this entire forum by posting this saga. If someone is willfully choosing to be that ignorant and CLEARLY does not value your word/advice, why do you value that relationship? Sure this seems like a small issue but what does it say about how much she respects you and your advice as a friend/sister whatever the relationship is? You're afraid to be abrupt with her? Sounds like she NEEDS a rude awakening. Sure things like this happen 1000's of times a day...but that doesn't mean you should give her a pass. It's not even as if she's barely over stocked...

How am i "gutting this entire forum by posting this saga"? Its one post. Not like i made 10 about the same thing. And its my cousin. I have enough family drama already going on, i don't need to make her extremely mad at me. I just wanted peoples opinions as to how to deal with this and try and say things in a nice way. I'm sorry but your coming across as kind of mean imo. I needed somewhere to vent because its VERY frustrating. Like you said its not like she is barely over stocked... its 1000% over stocked....

 

[Jbrock]

By gutting the forum, I mean the people who are reading this saga are getting sick to their stomach/breaking their fish loving hearts reading about your cousins blatant disregard for life. You want advice over a nice way to bring it up...doesn't sound like your cousin is someone who wants advice from anyone. Those fish are doomed ?

You tried to tell her to do the right thing and she doesn't want to. There aren't any magic words that will change or mind nor her unkind heart. Is she claiming you are lying to her about stocking levels and ways for fish to be healthy or does she just disregard what you tell her altogether?

Sorry, as you are venting so am I. You are putting your cousin in a horribly bad light, don't expect people to get on here and feel sorry for her.

 

[mariah]

By gutting the forum, I mean the people who are reading this saga are getting sick to their stomach/breaking their fish loving hearts reading about your cousins blatant disregard for life. You want advice over a nice way to bring it up...doesn't sound like your cousin is someone who wants advice from anyone. Those fish are doomed ?dc79

You tried to tell her to do the right thing and she doesn't want to. There aren't any magic words that will change or mind nor her unkind heart. Is she claiming you are lying to her about stocking levels and ways for fish to be healthy or does she just disregard what you tell her altogether?

Sorry, as you are venting so am I. You are putting your cousin in a horribly bad light, don't expect people to get on here and feel sorry for her.

I'm not expecting them to feel sorry for her or anything. She is basically denying that its over stocked. She has told me that because they are babies they are fine. When they get bigger she will buy a bigger tank for them... i have also come to the conclusion that i can't help those fish
..

 

[J.Mcpeak]

Wow I do believe this is the worst stocking I have ever run on aqadvisor! You can send her this too. I didn't add in the other shark as I didn't know what kind it is.
AqAdvisor - Intelligent Freshwater Tropical Fish Aquarium Stocking Calculator and Aquarium Tank/Filter Advisor&
Warning: Bala Shark is not recommended for your tank - it may eventually outgrow your tank space, potentially reaching up to 12 inches.
Warning: At least 5 x Bala Shark are recommended in a group.
Warning: Angelfish is not recommended for your tank - it may eventually outgrow your tank space, potentially reaching up to 6 inches.
Warning: Angelfish requires a tank with more height.
Warning: Goldfish is not recommended for your tank - it may eventually outgrow your tank space, potentially reaching up to 12 inches.

Warning: Water temperature requirements are not fully compatible between all selected species.
[SIZE=-1]=> 71.6 - 82.4F: Bala Shark
=> 75.2 - 86F: Angelfish
=> 66.2 - 73.4F: Goldfish
[/SIZE][SIZE=-1][Display in Celsius][/SIZE]
Recommended pH range: 6 - 7.8.
Recommended hardness range: 5 - 15 dH.




Your tank is too small - it will require massive amount of frequent water changes each week!

Your aquarium stocking level is 968%.
Your tank is seriously overstocked. Unless this setup is temporary, you should consider a larger tank.[SIZE=-1][/SIZE]

This is a nice post, pretty with colours and things.
Family can be like that. Use wine as a smoothing agent! Perhaps a girls night in?

 

[azmodan]

OP, I can only offer this simple bit of advice: you need to move on. You can send your cousin the link to the terrible stocking choice she currently possesses but after that just let her deal with it. You've done a great job in offering her sound advice and it's admirable you show a great deal of compassion toward her fish but there reaches a point when further intervention is not worth it particularly if it is putting a strain on your relationship with her or your personal life. There are millions of fish that live terrible lives in extremely poor living conditions. There are also millions of cats, dogs, cows, chickens, humans and countless other organisms that suffer the same fate. We can do our best to help one another and help our fellow animal friends but we cannot force someone do the same. You can educate them, offer advice, and lead by example but ultimately it is up to them. Many people unfortunately are just not very bright and need to learn the hard way (sadly at the expense of others). On the bright side there is at least hope that your cousin will learn from this experience. Perhaps she will do more research into things and realize what she needs to do to make things right, or perhaps she will realize that this hobby simply isn't for her. People everyday come to that same conclusion when they buy cute puppies and kittens but then realize they're not cut out to take care of them. Sadly this happens quite often with human babies, too, but I digress. In the end just don't let this particular event ruin your week. Quit dwelling on the drama and instead be upwardly mobile about things. Launch yourself forward past these sort of things by doubling your efforts to educate newbies on the forums, spending extra time maintaining your own tanks, increasing your knowledge of this wonderful hobby... and call it a day.

 

[mariah]

OP, I can only offer this simple bit of advice: you need to move on. You can send your cousin the link to the terrible stocking choice she currently possesses but after that just let her deal with it. You've done a great job in offering her sound advice and it's admirable you show a great deal of compassion toward her fish but there reaches a point when further intervention is not worth it particularly if it is putting a strain on your relationship with her or your personal life. There are millions of fish that live terrible lives in extremely poor living conditions. There are also millions of cats, dogs, cows, chickens, humans and countless other organisms that suffer the same fate. We can do our best to help one another and help our fellow animal friends but we cannot force someone do the same. You can educate them, offer advice, and lead by example but ultimately it is up to them. Many people unfortunately are just not very bright and need to learn the hard way (sadly at the expense of others). On the bright side there is at least hope that your cousin will learn from this experience. Perhaps she will do more research into things and realize what she needs to do to make things right, or perhaps she will realize that this hobby simply isn't for her. People everyday come to that same conclusion when they buy cute puppies and kittens but then realize they're not cut out to take care of them. Sadly this happens quite often with human babies, too, but I digress. In the end just don't let this particular event ruin your week. Quit dwelling on the drama and instead be upwardly mobile about things. Launch yourself forward past these sort of things by doubling your efforts to educate newbies on the forums, spending extra time maintaining your own tanks, increasing your knowledge of this wonderful hobby... and call it a day.

Yes thank you. I have done all i personally can do to try and help those fish but she is just not about to listen. Denying everything. J am not even going to talk to her about her fish... ever. I don't care. I have my own to worry about instead. I just wish more was done in pet stores and they didn't sell to anyone just to have a sale... it really sucks :/

 

[brunettebaby4571]

I agree with the others there is not a lot that can be done at this point. You tried your best. At the end of the day it is her choice whether to be completely ignorant about fish keeping or to try and learn more about it. Don't let it eat away at you too much. I can say great things about my petco they are wonderful about only selling a few fish to a person at a time and they ask you about cycling and stuff and wont sell you fish that get large if you dont have a big tank so they do as much as they can for the fish. But I do hope for the fishes sake that she does try to learn more about the fish. Hang in there!!