had surgery today

[Ian086]

Hi John. I have never spoke to you before but I am touched by your story, so you are already having an impact on complete strangers. I would love to use stronger words to describe how I feel about cancer. I think your wife's reaction is completely normal. She's not angry at you, it's the cancer. She is obviously is going through as equally hard time as you. That's what cancer does, it's ruthless, it doesn't just attack the body or the person, it also attacks our loved ones. I can only imagine what you are going through and as you said, it's only you who can make the final decision on what you want to do but I would say fight it. You beat it once, you can beat this bas....... again. You obviously have a great family who don't want to lose their husband and father. It's time you thought of yourself and not others. They will be there every step of the way with you. It will be hell and back. It's easy for me to sit here, thousands of miles away, telling you what to do but if you do nothing, the cancer wins. Don't give it an easy win.....
Whatever you decide to do, remember you have a big family in the AA behind you all the way. You obviously have some good friends here who you can talk to, when you need a shoulder to cry on. It time you let others help you...
IMO positive thinking is just as powerful as any treatment you receive, so whatever you decide to do, I wish you the very best of luck and my thought and prayers are with both you and your family.... Ian

 

[Hermieguy]

We'll all be praying for you.... God can intervine... I know i don't understand what your going through, but he can help... Be strong!

 

[clearancepuppy]

Sending love and healing to you and yours. What a wonderful dad you must be to have raised a daughter who is so giving.

It is ultimately your body, and your feelings. They are what they are, and what others think of them is filtered through their own life experiences. The comment that your wife is really angry at the disease is right. I also think the doctors reach a point where there is only so much they have control over that they just glaze over sometimes.

I will tell you also that a close friend of mine has battled cancer (different kinds) twice and is still standing. I have an aunt who had a double mastectomy long ago and is still going strong at almost 80. There is hope.

 

[shellyx]

Sending you prayers and love x

 

[marsh]

John amazing to hear your perspective. I have hope you will find your answers.

As for your wife. I am a lady and we live out our emotions much differently. If I were her, maybe a written letter would touch her and let her know how you feel. I was so moved by how you spoke of your daughter. You sound like a great dad.

My husbands father survived cancer and it changed both of their lives, they worked out a lot of stuff. It's a life moment where we can share and change each other - I support your choice to be lucid and able to talk to her about what she thinks and wishes.

Best springtime energy and may the blooming season be bright. -Lila

 

[54seaweed]

I have a p.e.t. scan on tues 4/9 to find out how bad the cancer progressed
been wracking my brain with 1000s of questions
trying to think of my best interest
since I already know the answer to my biggest question
That left me in tears ( TERMINAL )
now is the hardest part of my life
do I try to fight it for another few more years
knowing what pain and suffering I went through the last time
and knowing what it took from me ( I lost total parts of my memory ) I will never get that back

do I just enjoy what I have left not being in pain or suffering
spending my time with my family doing the things I love

1/2 of me says fight the other 1/2 says enough
either way I know the out come
I hate hard choices

I been spending hours on end working on my tanks trying not to think about any of this
in reality I wish I just didn't know
it's tearing me up inside
it brings out anger I never knew I had
the migraines are unbearable as my mind won't shut off
just want this monster to go away

 

[clearancepuppy]

Pray for God's will. There is so much comfort in letting go.

I've been thinking of you and sending healing thoughts your way.

 

[marsh]

I hear you. Powerful words, I appreciate the truths you are expressing. You have to look at your remaining lifetime in a capsule and I hope that you have countless smiles and laughs left to enjoy yet!

The time to be passionate is now, and it makes sense that you have turned to your fish! our animal friends are so important and good for us. Reliable and loving to no end.

I am glad to see someone with your courage facing things such as you are, as sad as it makes me and I am so sorry for your pain. Your family will always support you and you must make the right choice for you now.

Never stop writing. It is a gift and I am sure letters to friends would mean so much. I lost my grandfather and the tapes I found of him "learning" English are my only connection to who he was, as I lost him to suicide and he left no more info for anybody, which I wish he had.

 

[Beengirl]

I'm just now finding this thread. I'm so sorry to read this terrible news.
I can understand your conflicting thoughts on whether to fight this again. I'm a nurse and I see many, many people with various types of cancer. Some are in their 80's or older and have beat 3 or 4 types of cancer and are still going strong. I've also seen people who didn't beat it. My oldest brother battled brain cancer for almost 2 years, and it really took a toll on him before he passed away. After all I've seen, I too would have to really think about treatments because I've seen both outcomes many times.
Please keep us updated. And I'll be thinking of you.

 

[clearancepuppy]

Thinking of you. Let us know how you are. ((HUG))

 

[Scottyhorse]

Aww, I am so sorry man. I've never had to deal with anything like this, but I get what you are saying. But, I think if it were me, I would go with out treatment and be without pain, and just go have fun with the rest of your life. We are all going to die one day, and I know I would not want to die in pain and misery. I'd rather live a year having fun and not suffering, then live 5 years wishing I was dead from all the pain and stuff. I know I am not the most up-lifting person at times, but I am just telling you what I am thinking. Like, do what you have always wanted to do, but ever had the chance. Just go have fun. Live life in the present, and don't worry about tomorrow, or any other days.
I think it's okay how you are dealing with it, but talking about it does help. Maybe if you don't feel like talking, you could just write it down instead. That helps me sometimes if I am having a bad day.

I'm just so sorry, nobody should ever have to go through this, ever. If you just want to talk, you can message me I'm here for you.

 

[Dallascowboys16]

Stay strong

Stay strong man you can make it. My grandfather was diagnosed with what they said was terminal cancer twenty years ago and now he is still working his farm at 75 years old. My prayers will be with you.

 

[54seaweed]

wife just told me my pet scan is thurs not tues like I thought
just noticed the lump they took out of my neck is coming back it's already the size of a golf ball
if this is a sign of the cancer it's working fast
been driving my wife nuts cause I'm totally on edge and very irritable and I snap at everyone for no reason
I'm usually easy going with no stress but this is turning me into a monster

 

[Beengirl]

You're allowed to be irritable. That's a natural response. My brother was usually a laid-back guy, never heard him yell a day in my life until he got sick. If you're on any steroids for the swelling, that'll make it a lot worse too.

 

[54seaweed]

Just go back pet scan results
it's not good
my cancer has taken over my whole body (TERMINAL)
it's beyond the point to do treatment they say at this point treatment could just kill me instantly
just live out what I have left they estimate 18 months without treatment
I kind of knew it was bad
this time around I can feel the cancer invading it's hard to explain
at-least I can look at it like this
I still have my strength / and don't feel sick so that's a plus
I guess I know what I'm doing this next week end
me and my daughter are going skydiving
its hard knowing what is coming
So as long as I am able I intend on doing things I always wanted to do
not thinking about any more bad stuff in my life
just called my wife
broke the news to her
and I told her it don't matter (I'm at peace and good with it)
we just need to pick up the pace get out and just enjoy every moment we can with what we have left


I HAVE NOT GIVEN UP **** IT !!!!

 

[Convict2161]

Man... Your a strong guy! With a great support system. I'm not gonna sugar coat words or pretend I know what it feels like and all that blah blah blah... You come off like a real guy! A great guy! So....

I can only say, I'm glad were friends. I'm glad you came into my life(yeah on a fish forum) but out talks about fish and want not were good and real.

I'm not gonna talk smack and say "wish you the best" and all that jazz... Somehow I don't see you being that type of guy.

I will say this.

Keep your head up, ya never know... And if The Lord decides to call upon one heck of a guy them go to do work bro!! Go and be even bigger then you are now!! You've impacted so many and will continue!!!

I will make a promise to you my friend... A promise to make sure your never forgotten here on this forum. I will promise you that I will never forget you! If... IF... Your called to duty. In the meantime... Enjoy it all like I know you do brother... Like I know you do...


Dino Del Signore
Cheif of Department
Harrison Fire Department
Harrison, NY 10528


PS: you know how to find me if ya wanna just shoot the breeze or... Ya know if ya wanna tell me how killer my tanks are

 

[Ian086]

Here, here. Well said Dino.

 

[54seaweed]

I am so blessed to find a place that is just so warm
just to know how people care no matter if we ever met or not
I ask one thing from everyone who reads this :
hug someone you love tell them how you love them
I can't help but say you get one chance so make it count!!!!
things happen so sudden and a lot of times with no warning
remember never go to bed mad
cause you never know if you'll have another chance to say your sorry

No I'm not a strong guy
I just learned to except the outcome
I wasn't expected to live 3 months the first time but I did it!
I fought hard I gained 5 yrs after my first battle
even underwent a bone marrow transplant

I was told it may come back even more aggressive than the first round but never expected this
now it's back it invaded my entire body
the Dr told me undergoing extensive treatment may kill me instantly , since it's so aggressive
was told I have 18 months with out treatment ,
I'm no way strong with this I'm a total wreck

the only reason I can get through it I am at peace
I am glad to have had the life I had even though it was way to short ,
knowing how many people who don't know me that care about me makes it so much easier
thank you all for being here

love you guys
john

 

[marsh]

Bless you friend. I gave that hug to a loved one

 

[Scottyhorse]

You are strong though. Most people wouldn't be able to deal with this in the way you are.
We are here you you John. You now have even more people who care about you like family. If you ever want to talk, you know you can PM any of us.
Stay strong.