Ever feel like giving up?

[Convict2161]

Bad weekend, house fires, bad car accident 2 fatal... Another house fire, fire in the basement. Crashed my chiefs truck going to a 3 car accident rollover with reported victims thrown from the vehicle. My friend who's only 29 years old is dying of cancer... I come home from work and I stare at my tanks and I don't even feel like looking at them.

I don't wanna do water changes, I don't wanna do anything... Just a bad bad weekend. I've been tested and I have been weighed. I have passed but not sure why... Maybe getting too deep here but it's got to mean something.

Life.. It's funny ya know? You do what ya can to help people and sometimes it's not enough. I've saved lives and yes there have been times when I could not. I do what I do because I love it. But then wonder why? I'm here for a reason, I must be. I feel like I've neglected my tanks and been a bad bad fish keeper. I have done my water changes when I had a minute but in the back of my head were the horrible accidents and house fires. And I'm complaining about a water change? People dying, friends dying. A whole family died today, from 80 years old to 10. A van full of a family just taken form this earth. An here I am complaining about my job? It's what I do..

I go into the unknown. I put my men and women in harms way everyday and I'm the guy they all look up too. I'm not even sure where I'm going with this, guess I just needed to vent. I've made some good friends here and I thank you all for just... Well just listening. I just feel bad for letting the job effect my hobby. I almost feel like saying. If you want my tanks, come and get them. You do all the work. Pick it up, empty it whatever just come get them. My wife is telling me not too but at the moment my mind of racing and I just don't see the point right now.

Thanks for listening.

I'm a fire chief, EMT. I'm part of the Haz-Mat team and special operations team,I'm on the technical rescue team, I'm the guy everyone goes to for answers. I just had a multi state incident with a suspicious white powder in the mail. It was huge. maybe a bit overwhelmed. I just needed to get this off my chest.

Tomorrow I'm waking up and forgive me for bringing religion into this but I will thank god for the day and embrace it. I will do my water changes, tell my son and wife I love them and do the jobs that are handed to me.

Thanks again for your ear...

God bless each and everyone of you.

 

[ebondaruk]

ill be praying for you man, and a huge thanks to you an what you do. chosen breed for sure. i know my family needed EMT more than once. thanks again and always remember that God always has a plan, confusing as it may be.God Bless,

 

[Gboy66]

I see what you mean here. Your job is basically the stuff that we all see on tv. We think "hey, i didnt know him. Thats very sad though" and go on our way, just as content as before. You, however, dont get to think like this. You suffer personal loss, and loss in your work too. Double wammy. You should feel proud about it though, not depressed. Think about everyone youve saved, not all the people who have passed. You are only one person.

It would be a huge mistake getting rid of your fish tanks. Not because they are cool, fun, entertaining, or colorful. None of that, but because they are an outlet for you. Someone like you who deals with this stuff everyday has to have some type of tool in their belt to help wipe away a bad day. Your fish tanks are that tool.

You might feel down, and the water changes are only making it worse because you are thinking of them as a chore. Dont think of them as a chore at all. Think of them as a blessing. They are somthing that you can do to help out the little guys that i know you love. They help take your mind off of the accidents and fires.

I respect what you do man, keep it up.

 

[Autumnsky]

I think its called overwhelmed! I will be praying for you, thank you for all you do, and it sounds like sooo much.

Delegate, share responsibilities, don't forget to rest and love your loved ones. (and your fish)

Maybe someone can help you with the water. I just learned about Python water changer so if you don't have something like that, it could be really worth it! lol

Look for joy and blessings...and by the way, you are a blessing to many!

 

[gman42]

your a great guy to us, and your community. you've helped me and countless others on this site, and in your job. i wish the best of luck to you durying this rough time.

 

[Convict2161]

Thanks everyone!! Today was a much better day! And all you have helped!!

Oh and I did my water change today!

Rough day yesterday.... But it behind me now and move on.

 

[Nu-Nu the eel]

Ya man life is hard but it all gets better. Think about how blessed you are to have a great family, friends, and job. Many people dont have these things so you should be happy and proud.

Think about it, doing water changes and working on your tanks is a great thing. If you didnt have those things you would probably hve more time to think about things that are bad in your life.

Life is good! Embrace it!

 

[pleechford]

I completely understand man. I'm in the Army so I can relate. But there is light at the end of the tunnel. Take one step at a time you will eventually get there. You are doing your calling. It's not for everyone but God knows you have the strength to make it through. Keep your head high and don't give up! God bless.

 

[Starka]

Keeping you in my prayers.
And thank you for doing what you do.

 

[HN1]

I wish you the best and can relate, but this thread doesn't fit the forum. Chat or PMs are available. Closing thread.