LHotelUmbraQua
Aquarium Advice Apprentice
Hi, everyone,
Researching the optimum set up for a new Umbra Fish Hotel, on its way by FedEx. Lots to learn, but having fun.
- 1.8 gallon tank, 7.5" cube
- Fresh water
- Aiming for 2-3 fish guests maximum, including a snail; maybe a platy; a molly.
HOTEL INTERIOR design by me: Minimalist; open space; small grand piano at corner window; one modern sectional sofa; 1-2 plants (isolated substrate area); modern abstract rug *under* the glass; modern art *behind* glass (Warhol). Possibly a 3-4" Venus de Milo miniature or live coral scupture, if the minimalist look can be maintained.
Planned hotel expansion: Rooftop observation deck (7.5" x 3" glass panel over the top rear); deck chairs; ready-to-use swimming pool; panel hiding the over-the-edge filter.
NOW HIRING: Hotel staff (freshwater)
- Housekeeper: A snail. Duties: housekeeping and maintenance. Room and board as compensation.
- Headlining entertainer: One showy, colorful fish, limited repertoire required; must get along with others, be active, and okay with a small stage (1.8 gallon; sorry, no dressing room).
- Back-up entertainer: Any colorful, smaller fish who will not upstage the headline act and not mind being #2 in a two-fish act.
- May audition husband-wife team for headliner and back-up (feel free to refer candidates). Nursery provided if needed; offspring may be sold to another hotel, so don't get too attached.
- 7-day work schedule, full-time, immediate termination and replacement upon death. Please be ready to commit to a long-running gig, and begin work the moment you arrive.
- No audition, training or special skills required; employer reserves the right of species discrimination due to the unique nature of the hotel and the particular talents needed. Your agent (I have an exclusive with LiveAquaria) may send you without notice.
Hiring the showiest, most colorful or dramatic fish as the headline act, with a life-time exclusive contract, and a guaranteed audience of one (maybe the platy). I will be working with your agent who will send you to me without notice. Travel expenses paid; no luggage or carry-ons (sorry)l your safety guaranteed or my money back.
Before live fish are ordered, everything will be in place, well-researched before hand, and the hotel up to code with a maintenance schedule. I will be the general manager, concierge, and assistant housekeeper.
- Species to be selected and confirmed by tank size, compatibility, etc.
- All equipment, supplies, accessories ready; filter, lighting (minimal) and temp control operational
- Water as conditioned and ready as I can get it.
L'Hotel Umbraqua's soft opening will be scheduled once the tank is fully ready to support live fish; Grand Opening to be scheduled once furnishings, lighting, and art, and logistics are in place.
Researching the optimum set up for a new Umbra Fish Hotel, on its way by FedEx. Lots to learn, but having fun.
- 1.8 gallon tank, 7.5" cube
- Fresh water
- Aiming for 2-3 fish guests maximum, including a snail; maybe a platy; a molly.
HOTEL INTERIOR design by me: Minimalist; open space; small grand piano at corner window; one modern sectional sofa; 1-2 plants (isolated substrate area); modern abstract rug *under* the glass; modern art *behind* glass (Warhol). Possibly a 3-4" Venus de Milo miniature or live coral scupture, if the minimalist look can be maintained.
Planned hotel expansion: Rooftop observation deck (7.5" x 3" glass panel over the top rear); deck chairs; ready-to-use swimming pool; panel hiding the over-the-edge filter.
NOW HIRING: Hotel staff (freshwater)
- Housekeeper: A snail. Duties: housekeeping and maintenance. Room and board as compensation.
- Headlining entertainer: One showy, colorful fish, limited repertoire required; must get along with others, be active, and okay with a small stage (1.8 gallon; sorry, no dressing room).
- Back-up entertainer: Any colorful, smaller fish who will not upstage the headline act and not mind being #2 in a two-fish act.
- May audition husband-wife team for headliner and back-up (feel free to refer candidates). Nursery provided if needed; offspring may be sold to another hotel, so don't get too attached.
- 7-day work schedule, full-time, immediate termination and replacement upon death. Please be ready to commit to a long-running gig, and begin work the moment you arrive.
- No audition, training or special skills required; employer reserves the right of species discrimination due to the unique nature of the hotel and the particular talents needed. Your agent (I have an exclusive with LiveAquaria) may send you without notice.
Hiring the showiest, most colorful or dramatic fish as the headline act, with a life-time exclusive contract, and a guaranteed audience of one (maybe the platy). I will be working with your agent who will send you to me without notice. Travel expenses paid; no luggage or carry-ons (sorry)l your safety guaranteed or my money back.
Before live fish are ordered, everything will be in place, well-researched before hand, and the hotel up to code with a maintenance schedule. I will be the general manager, concierge, and assistant housekeeper.
- Species to be selected and confirmed by tank size, compatibility, etc.
- All equipment, supplies, accessories ready; filter, lighting (minimal) and temp control operational
- Water as conditioned and ready as I can get it.
L'Hotel Umbraqua's soft opening will be scheduled once the tank is fully ready to support live fish; Grand Opening to be scheduled once furnishings, lighting, and art, and logistics are in place.