Hubby won't let me start a third tank, only 10gal

[Tigerlily]

Now he is getting annoying with his suggestions, because of course he does not do the research. I am going to have to get him signed on to Aquarium Advice so he can do research before he makes his suggestions to me!!

Boy, do I see my situation in that quote! I was "allowed" to get my last tank because they were fish that my boyfriend really wanted. (SW set up because he just had to have a "nemo")... It really helped though when he got his own fish. (Although he has yet to even feed them... ). Now, instead of yelling "NO MORE FISH" he begs for a cleaner shrimp and an anemone! If I have to explain one more time how our tank is not ready for an anemone, I may scream!

Anyway, before he got interested I was "forbidden" from getting more fish or tanks. So, I asked my dad to get me a tank set-up for my birthday - "I didn't buy it honey, it was a gift. I can't just leave it empty..." I set it up when he was out of town so that I wouldn't have to hear the griping. When he got back, all the work was done the set-up mess was cleaned, and I reminded him that such little things bring me happiness. That all I wanted was a hobby of my own. It was sneaky of me (and therefore don't recommend it), but I got my tank and there was no more griping.

Now, he has his own fish, his own interest in the hobby, and even though he pesters me to do the craziest things with the tank, he's no longer anti-fish.

I say try to get him interested in the fish and engaged in the hobby. If that won't work, encourage him in a hobby of his own. Maybe he feels left out.

 

[TankGirl]

I didn't realize you could put a gourami in a 1.6 gallon tank. Isn't that too small?

Yes.

 

[Sati]

Like the poor guromi who is in the 1.6gal.

I took that to mean that she knows it's too small for the gourami.

So, I asked my dad to get me a tank set-up for my birthday - "I didn't buy it honey, it was a gift. I can't just leave it empty..."

My BF would KNOW I begged my family and asked them not to tell, lol!

 

[Deitta]

I do known that the 1.6 gal is too small for the gourami. In fact I have been using that as a selling point with the hubby. "Oh, look at the poor gourami... poor guy! We really should have it in a larger tank... this is cruel. I known that he picks on the others... what if we allowed him to pick on fish that we aren't breeding? And gave them more hiding spots than we have in the main tank? We would be sitting down to eat so it will be more comfortable to study for long time periods." Persistance wears down mountains, it will husbands too!
Actually got a concession from him. If we get rid of the table and get a hutch for more kitchen storage.... then I can. I countered with a digital camera instead.
I know him, I know me. I will win, eventually. I was mostly curious as to how much of an issue this was for others. Misery loves company.

 

[PlatyLady]

Deitta,
Sorry if I implied that you didn't know your gourami was in a tank too small for him. I didn't mean it that way at all. Actually, I've been reading a lot about gouramis lately because I want some and know absolutely nothing about them!

Anyway, it sounds like your husband might as well give in now with you ready to wear him down! I love that line you wrote - "I know him, I know me. I will win, eventually." LOL I'm gonna jot that one down.

 

[Tigerlily]

I know him, I know me. I will win, eventually....

Girl after my own heart

 

[Tigerlily]

Sorry, double post (I've been doing that a lot lately... must be more patient and wait for pages to load! )

 

[Guest]

My wife ALWAYS wins!!!

She tolerates my tanks and pond because the 90 is the only one in the main living area, and I keep it in darn good shape. The ones in the basement, she doaesn't give a hoot about, cuz no one see's them. The pond, I must also keep that looking as good as possble, and she's happy.

Not to break the rules of use here, but don't most wives have "ways" to convince us husbands of darn near anything?

 

[An t-iasg]

Deitta, glad you're going to get your tank. I'm in the process of adding my third 5 gallon betta tank, and a saltwater tank later this year!

don't most wives have "ways" to convince us husbands of darn near anything?

Sure we do!! It's easy to get what we want...we have our husbands wrapped around our little finger! The whole art of it is to make them think it was their idea so they'll go along with it!!!

 

[Deitta]

The good news! I got a Eclipse 6 instead of the 10 gal! It was way cheaper so that, and hearing how quiet the biowheel filter was, won my husband over! Oh and I don't have to buy any new furnature either! tehe

I bought two dwarf neon gourami to cycle with, and all is going well. Still a little more amonia than I really would like but no nitrites and the nitrates are showing up. I have already moved over one of the shrimp and plan on the other tonight. By the end of the week the opaline gourami will be moved over and the 1.6gal will be retired.... for now

 

[TheMadNucleus]

There is only one solution to such outrageous behavior.....


Divorce.





(but as an alternative you could print all of this stuff out and show him - assuming he knows how to read)

 

[Christmasfish]

poor gourami

Hmmm, poor gourami, get another tank and claim it is for the health and welfare of your fish that's already there...then add a handful of compatible pretties on the sly!
When my kids got me my giftfish it was originally one betta and 5 neons in respective 4 qt tanks with gravel and plants. the neons succumbed quickly over the holiday. SO the kids replaced them with two dwarf gouarmi. They fit.....kinda. Until the heater was added. And one got to stay in the corner while the other got the tank. Even with just Dragon in the tank, the water quality turned rancid on a near daily basis. I said Auugh! Enough!
And dragged my custom tank from the basement where it was displaying trophies. The gourami promptly filled it with fry and had to be separated ^.^ And got a 10 gallon more....and now look at me!

Even for the bettas the mini-tanks are small. They are nice betta-bachelor quarters for the nest few months. When I bought those same tanks and bettas for the kids, it as never my intention for them to be permanently houseed in them. too bad neons are schooling fish. One neon would love them! ^.^
I feel fish frenzy settling in. My husband won't mind as long as the equipment isn't too loud and everything is displayed neatly when he returns from duty.
I see these fish lists for these tank sizes and wonder if I learned too be to conservative from gramps.......
I mean here I am with the 4 betta mini-tanks running, 2 8-gallons, 2 10-gallons and an 18 gallon running yet (excluding the fry and daughters 10 gal with her 2 showfish). That is a combined 56 gallons! I only have 9 fish! Or do the steadily disappearing ghost shrimp and snails count?

 

[lreilly]

My husband bought me my first 10 gal then I had to by a second one because the fish were out growing the first and had to be split up. I whined for two months about how my poor fish was too big for the small tank, (bought him at 1/2' and grew to 5'). Then I bought a 55 gal so they would not die and at first my husband was not very happy then during set up he took over hooking every thing up. Pushed me away so he could do it "right" then look at me and said and to think you did not want me to get this. I think he over the course of time as learned how much I enjoy my fish and how it makes me happy. And now we too have come to a system of doing things when I get fish stuff he gets computer stuff. He has a ton of memory now so it's my turn.