I could just SCREAM(need to vent)

[pondmom]

After all I have taught hubby about the aquarium, pond and fish...I thought he'd know better.....

Thursday he flew out to Seattle to visit his family. With him he took picture's of our set-up(120 gal koi tank)
They loved it. So they(his family) went out and bought a 75gal bow front with stand.
He had called me on the cell and had asked me a few questions.
My last words to him were "DON"T BUY ANY FISH"!! I won't he said.

So a few hours later I called him. He had just set the tank up, put in the gravel, filled it with water and installed the 2 filters.
He said they also had powerheads that he hooked up. No problem so far...
So I brought the kids to an all nighter at church.
Returned home and talked with him again.
He said a fish had gotten stuck in the powerhead so he unplugged it.
I said....."FISH" I thought you were gonna wait on the fish. Well we got 4 small fish. They should be fine(he says)
I was PISSED!! (I can't even type i'm so upset)
So now what about when they start feeding. What about the ammonia, the nitrites, the ph, the nitrates and so on.... This is all called the cycling process. It can take as few as 2 weeks and as many as 6 weeks. He said he added stress coat and something else. I told him that didn't matter.
They'll learn he said. I said WHEN!! They have NO test kit. They don't even know what to look for. "you can teach them he says" Ya right, 1800 miles away.
I know they will learn (later than sooner) but all I can think of is those poor fish. In a brand new set-up. And what upsets me the most.....
Is my husband knows!!! And he let his family buy fish the same day

Am I wrong?? Did I over react...
I had to vent.. & I do appreciate you listening

 

[Anemoneman]

No you didn't over react and now you have the burden of responsibility to teach them (long distance) stuff they prabably don't want to be bothered with. Too often the uninitiated see our tanks and want one of their own with no thought of the labor and experience necessary to pull it off.

Mark

 

[pondmom]

And I'm the one who's suppose to order all the xtra's for them too
Like I don't have enough to do already.
Thanks for the encouragement Mark

BTW...what kind of bike is that??

 

[michealprater]

Pondmom, The first thing I would recommend is, reccommend to them to use this site. That way youll have a little help. I would not worring about it too much. I have cycled every tank I have ever owned with fish. Some people disagree with it, but thats the way I was tought and It has always worked for me. If it were me, I would say "You made your bed, now you have to lay in it, but it wont be hard, just check out www.aquariumadvice.com." "The members there will walk you through everything!" Hope that helps out.

 

[SleeplessLwd]

A lot of people start their set up with fish. But I wouldn't be to happy about having to teach them everything long distance. I would tell your husband to find a good LFS and have them teach his family what to do. Or like Michael said...Give them this web site to learn what to do next.

 

[SleeplessLwd]

Congrats Michael.

 

[michealprater]

Thanks SleeplessLwd. I've seen this site help tons of people, it would be a shame if you didnt recomend it. Plus,you can gets some kudos for doing it.

 

[Grant R]

Pondmom,

Sorry to hear about that, do you know what the four fish were by any chance ?
Some fish can be suited to the cycling process and often speed it up. Like Micheal said, presuming your in-laws have access to the net, they will learn much, much more from even small chunks of research online.

As they have brought the fish, there isn't really much choice but to keep them now. You could take them back I suppose, but it's prob not worth it now. I'd recommend they buy a few books too, one that is very user-friendly perhaps.

PS - Also, as a beginner, a common hitch will be over-feeding the fish. It is always recommended that the fish be left for 3 - 4 days before feeding, when first added to the tank. I'd warn them about the possibility of overfeeding. As the tank hasn't gone through the cycle, feeding will also affect it a bit more.

Hope that helps and keep us posted.

 

[Guest]

Ain't families great!

Been through a similar experience, only my sister in law who pulled a similar stunt, only lives 20 miles away. At least hopefully they will listen to you, and maybe either/or: buy a good reference book, join this site.

I get the dumbest questions from them all the time, what ya gonna do? answer patiently as you can, even though (in my case) I know the answer will be ignored!

Pondmom, please don't come down too hard on the Hubby, it's pretty hard to tell your parents what to do even when you are an adult. Sometimes they just still think you are a kid, and will NOT listen to you even if you know better than them.

Feel free to vent to us any time, we can handle it!

 

[pondmom]

Thanks for the support guys (I really needed it)

As far as the type of fish, I asked hubby and he didn't know He described them as smaller than a Zebra Danio with lots of colors & a wide tail. My guess was guppies or neon tetra's.
I just hope they will be ok.
No internet either
I guess I was pretty upset because last August, hubby went to Seattle and hand picked me Imported Kohaku's. 9 of them.
Had them flewn to Minnesota.
It started the day the fish arrived. (one didn't make it)
From there...it was a learning process. Many of the 9 developed ulcers, sores... dropsy...and was a basket case.
Of the 9, 5 are still with me. But I did learn that imported koi are more susceptable to infections than a domestic.

I am going to purchase an ammonia alert for their tank as these little tests are great!! I have them on both of my tanks. Once in awhile I still do the ammonia test just be be "sure" there is no ammonia present.
I'll keep you posted on the progress.
Thanks again for the support!!

 

[fishfreek]

No internet either

8O
Oh man.

Well I hope the best for both you and your family in laws.

 

[SleeplessLwd]

Try what Grant said, find a few good books And reccomend them or buy them and send them to your in-laws. You shouldn't be the only one doing all the research. Also like previously mentioned, his parents may not listen to you anyway, afterall you are just kids to them. Good Luck!

 

[jollyone11]

I think with some reading and some help from a LFS the fish will be fine.

 

[Anemoneman]

BTW...what kind of bike is that??

Harley Davidson Heritage Softail (bags removed in photo)

 

[pondmom]

So far, so good.
Except for one of the fish that ended up in a powerhead(they caught it in time )
As soon as the supplies arrive, they can begin testing.
No home with an aquarium should be without a testkit!!

Hey Anemoneman...what do ya think of the new 03's?
Are you going to the "party" in august? It's big $$$$$

I love this forum!!
Thanks

 

[Grant R]

That's good to hear.

 

[Anemoneman]

Hey Anemoneman...what do ya think of the new 03's?
Are you going to the "party" in august? It's big $$$$$

The 100th year anniversary bikes are awesome. I love the metal emblems and the black and silver. Ain't gonna get one tho, my '93 is still a cream puff and cost me 1/2 what an '03 does.
We'll probably go to Sturgis again, sposed to be the biggest one yet. We go to Rapid City at least once usually two times a year. Nothing beats riding in the Black Hills. It's like the roads were made for bikes - so nice. We spend most of our time riding and relaxing though. A few hours at Sturgis is enough for me. I'm not a big partier but I don't mind the crowds. Always hit Jesse James tent (although he doesn't show up anymore) to see the newest West Coast Choppers. Bought all our leathers in Sturgis...best prices anywhere.

Do you ride?

Mark

 

[pondmom]

Mark,

I do ride.
However, I just sold my 97 custom 1200 sportster last April.
I "work" for Harley-Davidson so it makes it kinda hard to want to ride after spending 8-10 hours a day there.
My passion now is my Pond/Koi and the new aquarium.
Nothing more relaxing...

They say this "party" is gonna be the big one. (we'll see)
2 years ago at a Harley convention, I got Willie G's autograph
He's pretty cool.

 

[Anemoneman]

What kind of "work" do you do that would sour you on riding a bike?

2 years ago at a Harley convention, I got Willie G's autograph

cool 8)

 

[Thaiboxer]

I could never get sick of riding my bike!

I moved to a grown-up bike 2 years ago after about 10 years riding - 3-4 on various kawi's and a yamaha (whatever I could afford!), then 7 years on a rocket. Now I ride a Victory, and love every minute of it!