Sounds like you're getting closer everyday. I just read your whole post from beginning to end and you're definitely close! Don't let the frequency of water changes discourage you! I was in the same boat as you when I started my 10gal community tank.
It took my 10gal well over 3 months to fully establish itself. I did not do a fishless cycle, much like you. I started with 2 zebra danios and some ghost shrimp for the first month. Water changes everyday if not twice a day (morning and night). Girlfriend asking the same questions your wife asked, "Are you going to do this everyday?!?!"
Needless to say that things got under control and everything is fine. Once I hit the 3 month mark I went out and got 2 cories and 2 guppies. Both the danios, both the cories, and one of the guppies are still alive today, 1.5 years later. (The one guppy got nipped at, and died, by my school of red-eye tetras i had)
Like I said, don't get discouraged, your fish are hardier than you think! I thought I was going to kill my fish within the first 2 months, but most of them are still living more than a year later! Get some good rest tonight, you're on the right track!