update with my cancer battle

[54seaweed]

haven't been around much since a week before Christmas , I wound up spending 3 weeks in ICU with walking pneumonia , it also gave my cancer a boost that it's spreading faster than it can be controlled , I am finally on full time oxygen for my erratic breathing , energy level is very low , small tasks seem like full time projects , it really kills me makes me feel like never doing anything , my appetite has really changed don't really want to eat much as it feels like a task of it's own , just about all the foods I loved are now on my can't stand list , things change so fast
I really feel my body is on it's final down fall just by how I always feel , I've accepted this many times so it don't bother me thinking about it any more , I have been bouncing around here a little when I have strength, so you may catch me from time to time , almost forgot the tumor on the back of my tongue has grown it's now about the size of a egg plant , how I manage day by day I have no clue loosing strength again so talk with you all later
john

 

[Macscale]

Oh seaweed,
Things will get better someday. Wherever or whenever it is.
Don't worry your tank will always be remember within the AA community.
Keep fighting like the warrior you are bud.

 

[Autumnsky]

Hi John,

I have been seeing first hand how cancer affects a person. My mom just finally agreed to come and live in Colorado and we went and brought her and her stuff from California just in October, was SOOOO happy. Then she ended up in
ER the week before Christmas with pneumonia, and a chest xray showed a tumor and paricardial effusion, with cancer around her heart, and she doesn't have very long left, and it's not treatable due to the advanced stage.

So my heart is sad for you and now my mom. I really appreciate you sharing your struggles and hurdles, as I believe it gave me an edge emotionally in how to deal with this cancer with my mom. So thank you very much. It is a hard thing to hear about from you, but because I did, I feel that there was a understanding of some sorts which I couldn't have otherwise had.

I hope you have your family around as much as possible and they are loving and caring for you, but I hope you have some Hospice help too. My mom was a volunteer Hospice caregiver for about 10 years and was able to be with people who might not have had someone with them, or with the family as well, when the end of life time came.

Will be keeping you and your family in my prayers still.

 

[54seaweed]

HI Autumn,
First off let your mom know she is not alone and has my thoughts going out to her,
when I first as diagnosed with cancer I was rated a stage 5 well beyond the normal scale , I was told I only had 3/6 month there are things that can be done to extend the way of life , I have been through bone marrow transplant tons of chemical kemo , blood transfusions you name it , I'm just glad there was no radiation , I am still on kemo but it is a oral kemo by pill , it seems to work better than the other types , in no way am I cured but so far it has given me a extra 10 years I otherwise wouldn't have had , you should talk with her oncologist to see if there is any other options that can help extend her time with you and your family , I have a gold cancer ribbon on a gold chain that I use as a crucifix and say a prayer each and every night , it's scary not knowing if you will wake the next morn .
tell her if she wants to talk with someone who knows how mean this beast is I'm here ,
not many people really can understand the pain and suffering of this disease , both mentally and physically god only knows how many times I had those bad thought of taking my own life but I learned things that would help extend it ,
I'm in no way 100% I'm lucky if I am around 50% , but at-least I get to enjoy things I otherwise couldn't
I will add a prayer for your mom and also would love meeting her and give her the inspiration to never give up
john

 

[dragon14]

I'll be praying for you John.

 

[NatureFish]

Have they brought any therapy animals or anything of that nature? I'm sure that would cheer you up at least a little! You should setup a little tiny 2 or 3 gallon betta or shrimp tank for your bed side. Make your room calming. If I were in the hospital I would like that. Animals can be very healing as any pet owner already knows.


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[54seaweed]

Found out my brother was up in Vail yesterday
so we drove up to see him we haven't seen each other in over 30 years
we had a blast talking about everything that's been going on over the years
it's hard to believe he's only 8 years older than me
we got stuck in a bad snow storm coming home what should have took a hour took almost 6 hours
glad there were tractor trailers on the road to guide the way I couldn't see a thing the snow was coming down so hard
well here's a pict of me and my brother I'm the sick one on the left lol
it just don't end , the tears just wouldn't stop yesterday I was so happy
you can see how much weight I lost as I was bigger than my brother
Oh yah some of you older guys may recognize my brother he played for the NY Islanders back in the mid 70's

we were in a pizza joint in Vail ski resort think it was called buffalo's

 

[dragon14]

I'm so glad you got to connect with your brother. . Glad you got home safe too.

 

[54seaweed]

thank you dragon it was a long time coming
he didn't know we were coming it was a what you call a spur of the moment inspiration
when we got there we had him paged that he had emergency phone call 10 mins later he showed up he was totally shocked 30 years is way to long a time to see your brother
gotta stop I'm balling again

 

[dragon14]

You're very welcome

That is a long time. I'm so glad you two were able to get together

 

[Angela1108]

That's awesome that you got to see him


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[NatureFish]

Any more updates?


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[54seaweed]

still under going oral kemo, the lump in my throat is still there, nothing really has changed , the cancer in my throat is the most stubborn it just wont dissipate like it did every where else

 

[NatureFish]

well good luck! Can they operate on it?


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[54seaweed]

well good luck! Can they operate on it?


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I wish they could , would make eating and talking a lot easier ,
it's a non operable form of cancer , it's a blood cancer that eats away at the white blood cells

 

[NatureFish]

I'm so sorry. Is it considered terminal at this point or is the chemotherapy working? Either way you will it get through this.


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[dragon14]

::hug:: prayers and love to you!

 

[54seaweed]

yes it's terminal this is the 4th time around the kemo just slows it down
the biggest part is every time I do kemo the cancer reacts less and less
I'm just lucky to have had all the extra time I had so far now to see how much more I can get

 

[NatureFish]

There have been many people diagnosed with "terminal" illness that have over come it. Stay strong keep on going life may surprise you.


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[54seaweed]

There have been many people diagnosed with "terminal" illness that have over come it. Stay strong keep on going life may surprise you.


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this is my 4th time around after my 2nd I was deemed cancer free for a little over a year , under went bone marrow transplant along with blood transfusions I've seen it all , I know I'm still here but I did except the worst
if it comes to that