This is a poem that I wrote today. Please tell me what you think. It can be bad or good. I need the comments to better my writing. Thanks!
The Sacrifice
Two sweethearts walked hand in hand
Across the rolling, cotton planted land,
To the fort that would tear them apart.
The sweet Southern belle, Betty Sue, declared to her dear soldier she
wished for him not to depart.
"I have to my love, to keep you safe.
I best not be late so I must haste."
Betty Sue clung to the soldier all dressed in gray and started to weep;
But the young soldier kissed her tenderly and ran to the fort so as not
to keep.
He trained with the best and learned all he could,
To prepare himself for the battle that was yet to come.
As the first bullet sounded he thought of his sweet Betty Sue,
Who would always be his and always remain true.
He fought for his Betty Sue with all his strength
And he knew that his life might end for her sake.
He continued to battle against his foe,
While his love for his sweetheart continued to grow.
He was thinking of her beautiful face
When a bullet struck his side.
He knew he was going to die
When he saw blood oozing from his side.
But yet could not take Betty Sue off his mind
As he started to weaken his love was increasing.
The soldier thought of the tender kiss he had given his sweetheart
as he closed his eyes and breathed his last.
He and Betty Sue were now forever apart.
The Sacrifice
Two sweethearts walked hand in hand
Across the rolling, cotton planted land,
To the fort that would tear them apart.
The sweet Southern belle, Betty Sue, declared to her dear soldier she
wished for him not to depart.
"I have to my love, to keep you safe.
I best not be late so I must haste."
Betty Sue clung to the soldier all dressed in gray and started to weep;
But the young soldier kissed her tenderly and ran to the fort so as not
to keep.
He trained with the best and learned all he could,
To prepare himself for the battle that was yet to come.
As the first bullet sounded he thought of his sweet Betty Sue,
Who would always be his and always remain true.
He fought for his Betty Sue with all his strength
And he knew that his life might end for her sake.
He continued to battle against his foe,
While his love for his sweetheart continued to grow.
He was thinking of her beautiful face
When a bullet struck his side.
He knew he was going to die
When he saw blood oozing from his side.
But yet could not take Betty Sue off his mind
As he started to weaken his love was increasing.
The soldier thought of the tender kiss he had given his sweetheart
as he closed his eyes and breathed his last.
He and Betty Sue were now forever apart.