I'm just not a fan of being lucky in this hobby and it living one year is far from a success story. Fish should live years.
I kinda feel a responsibility as a pet owner (fish, dogs, reptiles, etc) to provide my pets with what they need to thrive. If I know I can't, I move on and find something I can care for properly. I don't feel right about it otherwise. I never get what I want because I feel it is "okay".
As someone else said, it's not like anyone here doesn't want you to have fish, but it would be more comforting to see suitable choices.
Sent from my iPhone using Aquarium Advice